Page 14 of Property of Brute & Axl

“Five.” Easy matches Axl’s tone before getting up to leave.

“I almost hope she never remembers,” my friend says, his voice teeming with emotion and simmering rage.

“She’s going to, and we need to make sure she’s in a place to handle it when it happens,” I reply, dreading the day she does. “When’s her first appointment?”

The idea of taking her back to Jackson doesn’t thrill me, but that’s where all her appointments will be for the foreseeable future.

“Two days. OB and neuro.” Axl curses and meets my obstinate stare with one of his own. “I won’t fucking be here. I have a damn job.”

“I’ll take Easy and Priest with us, then.” The enforcer and SAA won’t let anything happen while we’re on the road.

Axl pats my shoulder and leaves the office. I watch him through the window as he walks to the bar and takes a bottle of vodka from Neo and chugs it, gulping down enough to burn his throat long enough for him to come to terms with what we’ve learned.

I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with it. Finleigh was thrown into fucking hell. It’s a miracle she’s alive and functioning. Even if her mind doesn’t remember, her body does, reminding her of the trauma with every waking breath until she’s reduced to a whimpering mess in bed. The pain is real, but she may also be becoming lost in what her body went through.

The need to fix her is foreign and slowly overtakes my typical aggression. The ball of rage that’s settled in my chest my entire life has loosened and expanded, accepting the new desire to protect the woman I’m coming to care for.

It’s unsettling and bothersome.

Chapter 9

Finleigh

My leg bounces with nervous jitters as I sit on the exam table, waiting for the doctor to enter. Last night’s sleep was horrendous, and it shows. My hair is a mess, the bags under my eyes grow deeper, and my face is paler than usual. When the doctor walks in, her eyes widening, I realize it’s because of my appearance.

“Jane, how are you? I’m Dr. Rayne Holmes. Please feel free to call me Rayne.” She quickly corrects her features and plasters a smile on her face.

“It’s, uh…it’s Finleigh, actually.”

Rayne’s smile widens. “You remembered your name.”

I shake my head, wondering why the hospital hadn’t filled her in when it was given to them. “No, my friends saw me in the news, and two of them came. They told the hospital.” Asking for specifics hadn’t been in my realm at the time. Who knows what still remains a mystery.

“Alright, Finleigh, how have you been feeling? Any nausea, trouble eating, acid reflux?” Sitting on a stool a few feet away, her expression appears open and welcoming.

“I feel flutters a few times a day. Is that the baby moving?” My disconnect from this pregnancy is hard to explain. “Can you get my medical records from…before?”

“I can certainly try. Is there something specific you’re looking for?” She pulls out an empty notepad and pen and jots something down that I can’t read.

“Did I want this baby?” Getting choked up makes it difficult to speak. “It’s hard to know if I should be excited or planning to give it away at birth. I know that it’s too late for termination and has been for a while. But did I know I was pregnant before? Was I happy or sad? I don’t know how to feel, and when those flutters occur, I should be excited, right?”

“Pregnancy is a catch-all of emotions. What you were feeling before your attack shouldn’t matter to what you’re feeling now.” She raises a hand for me to listen when I’m about to interrupt. “I say this because who you were last month is no longer who you are now or will be when you regain your memory. An assault like you experienced changes a person.” Pausing, Rayne allows me to digest her words. “What you want now is what’s important. If you want this baby but didn’t before, that’s perfectly acceptable. If you don’t, but did before, also acceptable. There are no right or wrong answers here.”

“It feels like there is,” I whisper, wiping away the tears trying to stray down my cheeks.

“Is someone pressuring you?”

“No. Me. Maybe?” Everything is so confusing.

“Take some time, Finleigh. This has been a hellish time for you. There are so many things to process. You don’t need to make any decisions right away. Your health and healing should be the focus.”

She’s right, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Allowing me a moment to digest what she’s said while writing a few other things down, Rayne pulls a small machine out of a cabinet. “How about we have a listen to the heartbeat? I find that with patients who are unsure of their feelings, this provides them with a starting point.”

Agreeing, I lie down and lift my shirt for her to apply the gel to my stomach. I watch as she places the wand on my skin and moves it around some before settling in one spot that sends a loud thumping sound into the room.

“There it is.” She smiles and meets my shocked stare. “Nice and strong.”