Page 41 of Promise of Destruction (Destruction & Vengeance Duet #1)

thirty-nine

Declan

She cries until her energy wanes, and I realize she’s not strong enough to even try to fight me off anymore.

That’s when I loosen my grip on her enough to run a hand over her hair and press my lips to the top of her head.

I don’t know if the action is supposed to be a comfort to her or me.

I don’t even consider it before I’m doing it, and then I realize I’m rocking her against my chest, too.

She sways with me, the only thing that’s keeping her upright.

That’s when I remember her feet.

“Come on,” I tell her, lifting her behind the knees so that I can carry her again.

For a moment I think we may be in Hell. Or maybe it’s just me in Hell, living through the purgatory of watching this woman be ruined over and over again, knowing that I can try to help, but I can never change the outcome.

Deja fucking Vu.

“It’s okay,” I tell her, though I don’t know any better. It sure as fuck doesn’t seem okay. I honestly don’t know if she ever will be again. I thought she was just a little bruised from mishandling, but now I have to wonder if she’s actually rotting under the surface.

I get nothing from her this time. She doesn’t fight me, she doesn’t wrap her arms around me, she doesn’t care when I open the door of her room. She doesn’t care anymore… about anything.

I drop her on the bed not for the first time, noting the spots of blood that sank into her sheets from her feet. It wasn’t even two hours ago and yet it feels like years have passed since then.

I’m so fucking tired.

Soren rolls over to the edge, facing away from me while putting as much space as possible between us. I perch on the edge of the bed this time and drop my head in my hands, willing my brain to just shut up for a minute.

How the fuck did we end up here?

And what is wrong with me? Why does it bother me to see her hurt when it’s not from my touch? Why do I hate seeing her devastated over something that I didn’t cause?

Her breathing evens out and I stay still, afraid to move and wake her up.

I need sleep. I at least need to pretend that I’m capable of sleep, and I can’t do that here. I can’t do that now… not next to her, in her house. Not with the tangle of things in my head that I can’t begin to unknot.

Her voice stops me before my feet hit the floor.

“Did you do it?”