Page 41 of Professional Consult

“Keep an angry face. Work on your stance, your movements. Sometimes, there’s only so much you can do.”

“I should have never signed on for this show.”

“Don’t say that. You have things to work on, and perhaps camera angles can help.”

“You don’t understand—I didn’t even want to do it.”

“Then why did you? You could have your choice of television or movie. Why pick something so far out of your element?”

Tears threaten to spill down my cheeks. “Because I didn’t want to do any of them. I hate acting.”

I’ve never said that out loud before. Certainly not to another person.

He’s silent for a time, letting me work through my emotions.

Finally, he says, “Let’s talk with Alvin about those burgers.”

Burgers, fries, and beer are exactly what I need. Luke, being the good little cop that he is, sips Coke out of the bottle.

“How are the wife and kids?” Luke asks.

“Spending way too much money on their trip to New York, but how can I say no? I’ll just have to run some drugs until things level themselves out.”

Beer sprays from my mouth as I choke.

Alvin is laughing up a storm, and Luke is sporting a wide grin.

“You’re kidding? You have to be kidding.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of confessing to a crime in front of Officer Stick Up Ass.”

I laugh again, amused by Luke’s good-natured reaction to Alvin’s needling.

“So, what brings America’s Sweetheart to Pond Spring to work with our good police chief?” Alvin asks. “Tinder?”

Another spray of beer shoots from my mouth. This time, Luke casts Alvin an annoyed glance.

I wipe my mouth with a napkin. “Actually, it’s because I suck at my new job. I’ve never been great with drama, and now I have to play a police officer.”

“I’ve seen some police dramas you’d be great in!” Alvin enthuses.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, the women don’t like to be constricted by clothes, so they wear these sexy bra tops with badges on their chests. But they don’t hold well, and—”

“Alvin!” Luke snaps angrily. “Lexi is above Skinemax.”

“Hey.” I scowl. “I never said I was above anything.”

“Look, all I’m trying to say is that during a difficult scene, if your ta-tas fly out, no one will be judging your acting.”

“Thank you for this sound advice. I will take it to heart.”

Alvin goes to clean up, leaving me alone with Officer Stick Up Ass.

“I’m sorry about Alvin,” he says, but there’s a funny look in his eye. A big part of me thinks maybe Luke doesn’t hate me as much as I think. Quite the opposite.

“What is there to be sorry for? Everything he said is true, and that is my Plan B. If things go downhill, the tits come out and it moves from AMC to Netflix.”