Page 17 of Primal (The Prey Drive #1)
Chapter 16
Rennick
I thought I was prepared to face the fallout of my choice, ready to stand witness as the emotional weight of rejection consumed her. I expected anger, grief, maybe even hatred. But I wasn’t prepared for this.
I had convinced myself that rejecting a mate bond would bring only emotional suffering. Pure, unrelenting heartbreak. The possibility that it would manifest as something worse, something physical , never occurred to me. Standing here now, watching this horror unfold before me, forces me to see how naive I’d been in my beliefs. The ones where I assumed I would be the one to bear the brunt of it, the one to suffer the most under the weight of the bond I severed. After all, I was the one who shattered something sacred, the one who spoke those dreadful words aloud. It should be me writhing on the ground.
I should be the one being punished.
But instead, it’s her.
The devastation isn't just emotional. It’s raw and corporeal. The pain isn’t just something Noa feels, it’s something she’s enduring. It’s breaking her apart from the inside out. It’s so much more than just grief or heartbreak. It’s deeper, something primal.
And I am the one who did this to her.
Sprawled in the dead grass, Noa’s delicate body trembles. Her cheeks, that are too pale, are wet with the tears that still fall despite submitting to unconsciousness a moment ago. I think my heart had ceased to beat in my chest when her glorious eyes, the ones that are literally plucked straight from my dreams, rolled into the back of her head. I’d lifted my foot, every instinct woven within me screaming that I needed to go to her, but her friend, the one with the icy blonde hair, had growled at me just as she’d done the first time I’d attempted to move closer.
The way the omega hadn’t hesitated to bare her fangs at me, to split the tense air with a deathly warning snarl, as her small frame had radiated unchecked fury had been impressive. It was something, under different circumstances, I may have found inspiring. I would have admired the sheer force of her strength, the way she’d refused to flinch away from an alpha male like me. It’s a behavior that’s not often shown by someone of her designation.
Even now, I can see the unshakable protectiveness for her friend in her stance, the way she guards Noa with her own body and how she treats me as a threat that cannot be allowed near the unconscious beauty in her grasp. It’s a valid belief system and something I’ve rightfully earned.
For a long moment, I can do nothing but stand here, staring at the wreckage of my own doing.
My mate, the other half of my very soul I was put on this earth to protect, lies broken before me.
The icy resolve I’d wrapped around myself, the detachment I’d fought for, is cracking beneath the weight of my own remorse. Every justification, every carefully crafted reason for this choice, is hollow against the sickening horror that is clawing through my chest and up my tight throat. What once felt like a righteous sacrifice feels like nothing more than a goddamn crime.
My wolf, who had fought so hard, valiantly , against the steel binds I’d wrapped around him, has gone deathly silent, but I can’t bring myself to acknowledge his absence. Not now. Not yet.
Bile rises as Noa’s beautiful face twists with pain. Even unconscious, she is not free of the suffering I’ve inflicted on her. She’s too pale, too small against the cold, unforgiving ground.
Movement catches my eye as, in my numb state, I register Rhosyn leaving her post near one of the black Escalades.
She doesn’t bother offering me a single look as she pushes past and falls to her knees beside Noa. Rhosyn doesn’t hesitate to reach out and offer her support alongside Noa’s fierce friend. The two females share a single look that lasts no more than a heartbeat, a silent understanding passing between them, before they move in sync, trying to bring the broken woman lying between them a morsel of relief.
Canaan steps up beside me, and when I turn to look at him, I know before I even meet his eyes that it’s a mistake. The disappointment on his face, the unspoken betrayal carved into every sharp line of his expression, is unbearable. I hold his gaze for only a second before I have to turn away, but the damage is already done.
I’ve lost more today than just my fated love.
“Seren,” the willowy High Priestess, who reeks of power, calls out. Her smooth but commanding voice filling the clearing. The blonde omega looks over her shoulder at the witch. “We need to get Noa home now.”
Noa’s friend, Seren , looks down at my broken mate and then back at the witch, confusion etched in her pale blue eyes when she lifts her head to glance in my direction as well. “But…” she utters, sounding just as lost as her face reflects. “She still needs to?—”
“No,” the witch interjects. “We’re done here.”
The blonde omega and the High Priestess lock gazes, some kind of unspoken understanding passing between them, before Seren stiffly nods. “All right.”
Lowri, whose scrutiny I thought was cutting before, glares at me as she moves forward. Seren shifts to allow the Alpha female enough room to kneel beside her. Together, they position their hands beneath Noa’s prone body and begin to lift the object of my biggest sorrow from the dead grass.
The Alpha shoots Rhosyn a stern look when my second’s mate steps forward with them, reaching out in a silent offering to take some of Noa’s unconscious weight. “Let me help,” she pleads, her own heartache woven into every spoken syllable. “Please.”
Lowri, reading the sincerity in her voice, gives a single, stiff nod. The tension in Rhosyn’s shoulders eases, relief flickering across her face as she moves to support Noa.
Then they begin to walk away.
A sudden, gut-wrenching desperation slams into me, yanking something deep in my chest so hard it nearly stops my heart. The sight of them carrying her away, ofthem taking her from me, is unbearable. They make it no more than a yard before my foot lifts to follow, that ingrained instinct overpowering the hard truth my body and mind have yet to accept.
Noa isn’t mine to follow.
The High Priestess must agree because before I can take another step, a powerful rush of air slams down in front of me.The force of it is staggering, forming an invisible wall so solid it might as well be reinforced glass. No amount of effort, no pushing or thrashing, will break through what she has placed between me and Noa. It’s impenetrable.
I’ve heard whispers of the coven leader being an impressive elementalist, but something tells me this is just a taste of what she’s truly capable of.
From the other side of the wall of wind, the witch’s pitch-black eyes lock with mine. They’re the kind of depthless orbs that make you believe she’s capable of seeing more than what’s right in front of her. Her head cocks, the movement reminding me of a bird, as she silently scrutinizes me.
“I…” I begin, not having a clue what I’m about to say. What else is there for me to say at this point? I’m sorry? No. Definitely not that.
But she silences me with a quick flick of her hand.
“Life is nothing more than a series of choices, Alpha Fallamhain.” It takes me a moment to realize her lips aren’t moving. The words aren’t spoken aloud but delivered on the currents of air she commands, carried to me like a whisper on the wind. Another display of her formidable power. “Some choices bring reward, while others carry consequences too heavy to bear. So rarely are we given a means to repair the damage made by these consequences. If granted this kind of gift, I suggest you not be so thoughtless in your decision-making in the future.”
Before I have a chance to respond, or even fully grasp the full meaning of her words, the High Priestess turns away. In measured, unhurried steps she follows the path the others took with Noa.
From the corner of my eye, I catch movement. Canaan strides toward the wind-forged barrier, his posture rigid, his steps deliberate.
“Canaan.”
Disappointment still hardens his features, but beneath it, something colder lingers. Something edged with soundless disgust. He looks like he almost hesitates, as if stopping to speak to me is the last thing he wants to do, but after a beat, he does.
His jaw clenches, his shoulders tight with restrained emotion.
“Rhosyn’s with her,” he says, voice sharp and clipped.
“I’m aware.”
In the past eight months, Rhosyn has naturally stepped into a role that hedges into Luna territory. The other females, especially the adolescents, look to her for guidance and comfort. With everything that has been happening to our omegas, many have turned to her for reassurance, seeking the warmth and steadiness she offers so freely. My people trust her. She has a pure heart, a kind heart. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that she has chosen to stand by Noa now.
A part of me is even grateful for it. Noa deserves to have as many people in her corner as she can get.
But…
“Go get your mate,” I order without an ounce of tangible dominance behind it. “I’ve done what needed to be done. It’s time to leave.”
His head is already shaking in refusal before I’m done speaking. “You saw her face. She’s not going anywhere until she’s sure Noa’s okay. Or, I guess, as good as she can be, given what just happened. You know how Rosie is.”
This has me pausing. “You’re staying? Here?”
Canaan shrugs, utterly unapologetic, making it clear he doesn’t give a damn what I think of his unspoken plan. The message is clear. The only way he’s going to deviate from it is with a bark, and we both know I won’t be doing that. Not to him.
“I’m not leaving my mate here alone, Nick. I doubt she’s in danger with these people, but I’m not about to take that risk.” His gaze flickers over me, unreadable and unyielding. “My mate, she comes first. You know that.”
The implication sits heavy between us, the slight dig something I don’t miss. I doubt I’m meant to.
He tosses me a set of keys, and I catch them on instinct. “Take the other car. You and your intended can squeeze in with the guys. It’ll be a tight fit, but I have faith that you can manage.”
The idea of cramming into a car with Talis makes my stomach churn. My skin crawls at the thought of being trapped beside her for hours, but this is the choice I made. I will have to find a way to tolerate her. It doesn’t matter that the thought of spending time with her feels like a punishment. She is the one I chose, and that means I have to live with it.
Along with all my newly acquired and debilitating regrets.
I consider running the near eighty-some miles home instead, letting the stretch of mountainous terrain serve as both penance and an escape, but the second the idea enters my mind, the cold truth slams into me like a killing blow. I can’t shift.
I can barely sense my wolf.
The presence that has been a part of me since birth is so painfully quiet it takes immense effort to follow the frayed thread that keeps us tethered.Only the ghost of him lingers. The bond between us has been stretched so thin, I can’t be sure if there’s anything left to mend.
Without him, I have no choice. I will have to endure the long ride home.
If Talis has even a shred of self-preservation left in that head of hers, she’ll get rid of that smug grin before we’re sealed in a car together. Because if I have to sit beside her for hours while she basks in the delusion that she’s won something—won me or my heart —then the fragile grip I’ve kept on my fury is going to shatter.
She might be the face of this farce, but the real puppeteer is her father. Cathal McNamara, master manipulator, opportunist, bastard . He’s the one yanking the strings, the one holding the lives of my omegas over my head like bargaining chips in a dirty game of power.
He knows exactly what he’s doing, using my sense of duty and my desperation against me. I’m not an idiot. I see it for what it is. Manipulation in its most polished form. And yet, I have no move to make that doesn’t end with more souls being stolen or returned to us in torn-apart and bloodied pieces.
And I fucking hate him for it.
I hate myself for
Hate even more that I need him, because I can’t see another path to protect the most vulnerable members of my pack. He knows that. That’s why it was so effortless for him to back me into this corner, why he got exactly what he wanted. He’s the one who pushed me to commit the worst betrayal a mate can make.
He’s to blame just as much as I am for the pain currently gnawing on Noa’s soul.
And if I didn’t need him, if my omegas didn’t need the strength of his pack watching our borders, I’d already be ripping him apart at the seams. I don’t need my wolf for that. Just my hands, and the rage burning through them.
I nod stiffly, robotically, my mind returning to Canaan's last comment. “Keep me updated.”
His scoff is cold, slicing with expert precision. “I’ll let you know when we’re on our way back.”
He has no intention of sharing anything about Noa. Whatever he learns by staying behind with Rhosyn will remain between them, kept out of my reach. Not even the smallest scraps of information, crumbs I know I would devour like a starving man, will be shared.
And the truth is, I don’t have the right to ask.
Noa isn’t mine.
I have no claim on her, no place in her life, no right to know if she heals from the pain my rejection has inflicted. I made my choice, made my sacrifice, and as the witch said, I have to live with the consequences.
Canaan approaches the wind wall and cautiously presses his palm against it. It gives way to his touch immediately, making it clear the witch’s spell is only intended to keep me away. Over his shoulder, my second glances at me, and for the first time today, I catch a flicker of sympathy in his hazel eyes. It’s brief, almost reluctant, but it’s there. “Good luck clinging to your denial now, Nick. There’s no running from it anymore. Not after this. What just happened…it only confirmed what we’ve been trying to tell you for days.”
I exhale slowly, forcing my voice steady. “Confirmed what?”
“She’s yours. Your fated mate.”
I don’t bother telling him I knew the second I looked into her eyes. That every atom in my body recognized her as mine in that moment. There’s no point in saying it now. Instead, I turn around and mumble so quietly, so brokenly, I’m not sure if he hears me.
“Not anymore.”