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TWENTY-FIVE

ETHAN

At the rink, I fell into the energy of the campers reviewing yesterday’s game with video that Wade had provided. Liam and the coaches were breaking down the plays that went well and the ones that didn’t. When it was time to head to the parade, everyone got into their rainbow best.

Once I’d changed into the special Maplewood Pride Grand Marshal T-shirt I’d been provided, we left the rink together: the coaches, their boyfriends, the campers, and me. Our first stop was the float the coaches and campers would ride on.

“Wow,” Nick said as we reached it. “This is incredible.”

The float exceeded the proposed design I’d seen weeks ago.

Rainbow-colored hockey sticks arched over the flatbed trailer with panels featuring action shots from yesterday’s game already mounted along the sides.

NHL team logos and the You Can Play Project emblem adorned the base in Pride colors while a Hockey Is For Everyone banner stretched across the front.

Even the stairs sparkled with Pride flag stripes.

“I’ve been on the league’s float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade and that has nothing on this.” Caleb snapped pictures, including a selfie with his husband, Aaron.

“It’d be so cool to ride with you all, but I’ve got to get up front.” I hugged my friends as campers scrambled onto the float. “Thank you all for being here. I’ve loved celebrating Pride with all of you.”

“See you on the other side,” Kyle called as I waved goodbye.

Walking to my place in the lead car gave me a chance to appreciate the incredible floats. Usually I watched the parade with my moms outside the theater, but this perspective offered something special.

Andre had sent pictures earlier of the convertible at the starting point gleaming with rainbows and streamers, but I looked forward to seeing it in person.

Maybe he could ride with me, share this moment together.

After last night and this morning, experiencing the parade with him would feel perfect.

Was he allowed to do that? Could he allow himself to do it? I doubted it would surprise anyone if we did since we were being very open about our new relationship.

Greetings echoed around me as I passed by people on the floats or those on their way to stake out a place to watch.

The sense of community wrapped around me like a warm embrace.

Over the past few days, my nervousness about being grand marshal had transformed into embracing the honor that it was.

This was my hometown and being asked to take a lead role in the festivities meant a lot.

I slowed down as I noticed that a tense atmosphere surrounded the Harmonic Circus float. Several people huddled near the back corner, speaking in hushed tones to Kirk.

I knew Kirk’s dad from high school, and just a few days ago I’d bumped into them and Kirk had been beaming because he was going to play on the float. Since I didn’t see JT anywhere around, I decided to check.

“Hi. Everything okay here?”

A younger kid holding a bongo drum blurted out, “Kirk’s freaking out.”

Kirk winced from his perch on the float’s edge, his guitar across his lap, fingers twisting nervously in the strap. His face had drained of color.

“Let’s give him some space, okay?” My step forward prompted the others to back away.

“Hey, Kirk. What’s up?”

He looked up with glistening eyes. “Ethan. I… I don’t think I can do this.”

The fear in his voice echoed my recent anxieties. “Mind if I join you?”

Kirk scooted over, making room. I climbed onto the float and sat beside him, our shoulders nearly touching. His slight trembling was visible up close.

“What’s got you worried?”

“There are so many people walking by.” His voice cracked. “And the live stream… everyone will be watching. What if I mess up?”

“You know, I get nervous before big moments too.” I bumped his shoulder gently. “That speech the other day? Terrifying.”

Kirk’s eyes widened. “But you play hockey in front of thousands.”

“I can get anxious there too, wondering what will happen if I make a mistake. But put me in front of a crowd to talk? Scarier than facing any forward. There’s always a little fear when you put yourself out there for an audience.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I guess that’s true.

Usually, I just play in the store or at home and that’s easier.

My friend Charlie told me he got stage fright before he played at the music festival, but I didn’t expect…

This is… huge.” His fingers traced the guitar’s wood grain.

“Dad says I should picture everyone in their underwear, but that’s weird. And gross.”

“That advice never worked for me either.” I turned to face him. “Want to know what I do?”

He nodded eagerly.

“Take a deep breath, counting to four.” I inhaled slowly. “Hold for four counts, then release for four.”

We breathed together until his shoulders relaxed.

“Now remember why you’re here. You love music, right?”

“Yeah.” His grip on the guitar loosened. “I practice every day. It’s what I want to do.”

“And today you’re sharing that love with others.”

“Yes.” He plucked a string. “And because it matters. Being part of Pride matters. I wanted to contribute this year.”

My phone revealed several notifications from Andre. Already past 10:45. “I have a friend here who might be able to help too. He performs professionally. Want to meet him?”

Kirk’s eyes widened. “Really?”

I messaged Dix, speaking into my phone.

Ethan: Can you ask Oscar to come to the Harmonic Circus float? It’s five floats up from where you are. Got a nervous guitarist who needs encouragement.

“Mr. Gallagher?” Jenny appeared, anxious. “Excuse me.”

I held up a finger.

Andre must have people looking for me. But Kirk needed me right now.

“Am I getting you in trouble?” Kirk glanced at Jenny.

“Grand marshals can’t get in trouble on parade day.” I winked despite my tightening stomach. I could imagine what my lateness was doing to Andre. He’d surely understand, though. “It’s in the rule book.”

My phone buzzed and the phone read it out to me.

Dix: On his way.

Andre had texted too. I couldn’t focus on that.

Oscar appeared moments later, his confident energy bringing exactly what was needed. Kirk’s jaw dropped—clearly recognizing him from Friday’s performance.

“Kirk, this is Oscar. Oscar, Kirk’s playing guitar during the parade.”

“It’s so cool to meet you. I saw you perform the other night. I’d love to play for a dance sometime.”

“We might be able to arrange that.” Oscar leaned against the railing.

“I hear you’re kinda nervous. I still get that way.

Truth is on Friday I was jittery even though I’ve done that dance at least a hundred times between performances and rehearsals.

I had a teacher tell me once that getting nervous means you care how it turns out. ”

“I do care. It’s—” Kirk started.

“I’m sorry, Coach.” Jenny’s expression turned worried. “Andre insists on talking to you.”

I slipped off the float since Kirk was in good hands with Oscar. Jenny handed me the radio.

“Sorry, Andre. Had to handle something. I’ll be there soon.”

“You need to get up here now.” His sharp tone made me recoil and quickly lower the volume. “This is throwing us off schedule.”

With others listening on the radio and nearby, I kept my voice even. “I know. I’m on my way.”

I gave the radio back to a mortified Jenny and offered a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”

The words rang hollow, but I refused to let Andre’s outburst affect Kirk.

Back at the float, I found Kirk’s mood improved. “I need to get up front. Oscar, thanks for coming over.”

“Happy to help. I’m actually going to hang out here. Get enough hockey talk at home.” Oscar winked. “Plus I want to hear Kirk play.”

“Thanks, Ethan.” Kirk’s voice rang with newfound confidence.

I hurried toward the front, late but satisfied with the reason. Andre stood beside the grand marshal car, his expression rigid.

“Good, you’re here. Get in so we can start.” His voice came out clipped and professional—and it stabbed me in the heart. He was treating me like I’d failed him, just like he had in high school.

“Andre, let me explain?—”

“Not now. We’re behind schedule.”

The dismissal cut deep. Words to defend myself rose in my throat, but with the crowd watching, I swallowed them. We didn’t need more of a scene than we’d already had. I climbed into the car and plastered on my media smile while disappointment burrowed into my chest.

The car lurched forward. I waved to the crowd, their cheers failing to soothe me.

“Happy Pride, Maplewood!” I called, forcing enthusiasm into my voice. Children jumped up and down with rainbow flags, reminding me why I was here.

Andre’s cold treatment seeped into my bones. In high school, his disappointment had felt deserved. Not anymore.

Staying with Kirk had been the right choice. His panic had needed immediate care, and sometimes being there for someone meant other things waited. Andre should understand that. Deep down, I knew he did.

“Coach Ethan!” Daniel June shouted from the sidewalk, James beside him, both waving frantically.

I returned their enthusiasm, grateful for the distraction. Memories of working with Daniel alongside Liam years ago further validated my choice to help Kirk.

The parade route curved past storefronts festooned with Pride flags and rainbow decorations.

Outside the theater, my moms were there, and I blew kisses.

Mom’s slight frown caught my eye—she’d sensed my tension despite my efforts to mask it.

It was impossible to hide anything from her, even at a distance.

“Looking good, Gallagher!” Mickey’s voice boomed as we passed Red’s. I flashed an extra-bright smile when his phone pointed my way.

Rainbow colors and familiar faces blurred together as the parade continued. My media smile remained fixed while emotions churned underneath.

At the park, the parade’s end point, I exited the car and met up with Mayor Axelrod as she got out of hers. We headed toward the maple tree for our photo opportunity as the floats continued behind us.

“Biggest Pride crowd I’ve ever seen,” she remarked as we took our positions.

“Completely different from being a spectator on the sidewalk. It was thrilling seeing everyone.”

Andre wasn’t here—still at the starting point as floats entered the route.

Alex positioned us expertly to get us pictured with the maple while floats passed behind us. Some other media people and parade-goers captured shots as well.

Home beckoned, but first I needed to retrieve my car from the rink—preferably without encountering Andre. I needed a mental reset before any reasonable conversation would be possible. Plus tonight’s hosting duties demanded a calmer state of mind.

“Ethan!” Kirk bounded over, guitar bouncing against his back, Oscar following close behind. “Thank you! I did it!”

“You killed it out there, Kirk,” Oscar added. “The crowd loved you.”

“And you danced! I couldn’t believe when I saw you moving to the music.” Kirk beamed before his dad called his name from across the park. “Gotta go, but… thanks again. I’ll never forget what you two taught me. Happy Pride.”

As Kirk jogged away, Oscar squeezed my shoulder. “You did a good thing, stopping for him. Some moments are more important than being on time.”

The validation warmed me, but Andre’s reaction still stung. “Not everyone agrees.”

“Give him time.” Oscar’s voice softened. “You’ll work it through.”

“Hope you’re right,” I murmured as the coaches and campers spilled off the float that had just arrived.