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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

RAPHAEL

W e rendezvous with the packs launching the first wave of the attack early morning by the coast, at the edge of South Shore.

It’s quiet, even a little gloomy, as alphas and betas prepare for the assault.

As for me, I’m being forced on hammock rest while my pack preps our decoy ship, like I’m eight months along with some high risk preganacy, verus carrying

Agitation is my constant companion as we prepare to set sail.

Our pack mates are near. I can smell them getting into formation.

Laying siege to North Shore won’t be an easy task, even with the weapons stash we located, or working ships like the one my pack will sail in.

So my worries nag at me. That and the omnipresent hard on, I’m struggling to keep at bay, makes my skin crawl like I’m infested with a million fire ants.

. Grace can’t comprehend what her words have done to me.

She can’t begin to understand the longing she’s unleashed in me.

I fucked up. Terribly. I know it and was prepared to live with it for the rest of my life.

When I made love to Grace at my sanctuary, and was allowed a kiss, I was riding a high that came crashing down when she refused to allow me to bite her nape.

A part of me died inside that night as I held her, my knot buried deep inside my mate.

But I held myself together by stitching together my emotions, burying my pain deep.

Like I’ve always done, really. During the torture, I’d lock myself away.

And when I was rejected, I did the same.

What did I expect? I was the first one to reject my fated mate. And yet she’s not only willing to give me a second chance, she’s willing to allow me the honor of claiming her as her alpha.

I lick my lips in anticipation, my already sharp canines longing to complete the circular marks on each side of her neck. I want to mark the right, seal the three rings, and complete our pack. I want her right now!

“Ugh,” I grunt, rubbing my arm where Leo elbowed me.

Bony bastard, that shit hurt! I think with a sigh.

Nakoa is beside him, giving me a disapproving stare. He rolls his eyes, tugging the anchor up and over the ledge as I hold my hand up in defeat.

“Raphi, focus, will you? We have a war to win. So stop daydreaming with your dick,” he cautions, and I’m so caught off gaurd I laugh.

A joke, from Nakoa? It feels like a joke even to think it. He grins at me, and my laughter grows deeper. Damn. The sound is music to my weary ears.

“Can dicks daydream?” Leo asks, mystified as he looks between us.

Nakoa snaps, trying to suppress his laughter not to hurt the dumbasses feelings, but he doubles over, wiping tears from his eyes. Leo just frowns, but after a while, even he quirks a smile despite Nakoa’s laughter being at his expense.

Flipping them both the bird, I hurl myself off the boat, swinging and landing in the shallow water.

I walk towards the shore, bumping fists, slapping backs, and rubbing heads with members of my pack.

I glance at the beautiful omega Grace had led into my friend’s arms, who hugs her pack leader, and kisses him fiercely.

When he pulls away, I see her big brown eyes are full of unshed tears.

She’s afraid, as she should be, her swollen belly rubbing against Emilio’s bare abs.

Before she can beg them to stay again, Nadège’s lips are claimed over and over again by her alphas and beta mates.

She won’t be sailing into battle. She’ll hang back with the warriors who’ll defend our bases from attack.

My eyes drift to the alpha woman who will also be with us in the heat of battle, as she comes up from behind and hugs her best friend.

Yoland spins in her arms and sobs into Ji-min’s shoulder.

I drag my eyes away, my certainty about the success of our upcoming mission and all my bravado evaporating.

She’s staying behind as an omega should—a pregnant omega, no different from Grace, just further along.

But… Not our omega, I think, as I approach Grace.

A pack queen fights alongside her pack. But I don’t want that.

I don’t like that, but I know my little white rabbit would rather die than lose this final chance to save her sister.

“Raphi?” My eyes snap up to see Grace grinning at me, her skin glowing, streaks of honey brown in her shoulder-length brown hair, bleached from the sun.

She looks magnificent, just like the day my resolve snapped and I took her by the waterfall, and lost myself in her embrace.

She tosses down the backpack she must have been carrying to the hammock.

She’s rearranged the damn thing about hundred times by now.

She tries to wave me over, but I don’t budge.

Instead, with a dramatic sigh, Grace comes to me.

I wrap her in my arms as soon as she’s within reach, wanting to undo her bikini strap, rip off her shorts, and fuck my knot into her for all to see.

To claim her, to mark my mate. But then the hardening knot of her rounding belly jiggles from laughter, and it’s like a shot of ice through my veins.

I can’t let her do this, I think as I bury my nose in her hair. I can’t let her risk her life or our babies.

When I return to the hammock, I find Nakoa kneeling beside her, his ear to her stomach, humming a gentle song he used to sing to me through the bars of our cell.

When I was a scared little kid having unspeakable things done to me, only his voice would bring me back from the abyss.

I kneel beside him, watching the setting sun.

I’m running out of time to stop her. I never had a chance to begin with.

“What’s wrong, Raphi?” he asks, peeking at me as he strokes her belly with reverence.

“Stop calling me that,” I whisper back. “Now you have Grace saying it.”

“Why? Do you hate your nickname?” he asks. Damn it if ‘why’ isn’t his favorite world in the dictionary. Well, if the island had dictionaries, that is.

“No, but it makes me feel like I’m still a kid,” I murmur, and he falls silent after that.

We sit in silence for a long while, listening to waves lap against the shore along with Nakoa’s nameless lullaby. It’s not until he reaches over to wipe my face that I feel my tears falling.

“Don’t cry in front of the pack. Only when we are alone,” he says sternly when I look over. But I can hear how much his voice drips with concern.

I sniffle. Fucking sniffle? I suck in my sob, and hold it in my chest until it burns. When I find my words, they’re all wrong, nothing like I wanted to say.

“Nakoa… Alpha… I-I don’t want to fuck this up,” I choke out, ashamed at the raw terror in my voice. I’m so fucking weak.

“We will win,” he says, the certainty giving me a bit of strength.

“But at what cost?” I ask, and surprise shines bright in his searching eyes. “What if we die, and leave her a widow? What if… What if Grace is injured?”

I can’t bring myself to even form the word die. It feels as if my heart will shatter just thinking about it.

“Then do you want some rope? Because I promise you, she will not let us go alone. You’ll have to tie her down and risk her hating you. Again. And it won’t just be because of Faith,” Nakoa says softly. “She won’t allow us to fight without her.”

“I know,” I say too loudly, nearly shouting. I look around at our scattered pack, getting ready for the early morning strike, and drop my head in shame.

“What if I fail her? What if I fail us?” I finally find the right words to say because that is my worst fear.

I don’t care if I die. I don’t care if I’m maimed. And I know if one of us falls, the others will keep Grace safe. But if I fail her, if she’s hurt… If she dies… If our baby dies, I won’t–

“You won’t fail… Raphel,” Nakoa says sternly, grabbing my chin so I’m forced to look at him.

He’s lifted himself off of Grace, kneeling in front of me.

And now I’m glad our pack is gone because he shouldn’t be.

“You were born to be with her. With us. So be the alpha you were meant to be. And believe in yourself. You’ve survived and thrived after much worse. Fucking filthy wolves won’t stop us.”

I gulp, not trusting myself to talk anymore. Nakoa turns back to Grace, splaying his palm on her stomach and rubbing it in slow circles.

“We can’t deny our omega her revenge, but we will make sure she is defended from harm. Be the alpha that Grace needs, but also our baby girl, Raphael. You are my second. If I die in battle, this will be your pack and your mate to lead.”

I nod, feeling more ashamed than I thought I would be for my doubts.

He’s right. I’m not just Grace’s alpha, or the baby girl Nakoa seems so sure is a little girl.

I am the future pack leader of South Shore, and maybe one day, the entire island.

I will never fail my mate, because in doing so, I’ll rob not only her, but all of us of a brighter future.