Page 75 of Pretty Little Trigger
CHAPTER 74
Kaden
I sit in the same chair she once did .
Pick at the sleeve of an Armani suit I don’t even remember choosing.
The fabric’s too stiff.
The fit, too clean. I hate the way it makes me look put-together when I feel like anything but.
That’s why I started tattooing every part of my body.
Yes, to tell stories.
But also as a rebellion against my father.
Against the company.
Against the clean-cut, legacy-perfect version of myself they tried to mould.
I’d wear the suits, sure.
Play the part. But I made damn sure the ink always showed.
Emily sits across from me.
She’s no longer Alana’s therapist, so she’s legally allowed to treat me.
Another thing I don’t deserve, but I took it anyway.
We’ve been doing this for weeks now.
She thinks I’ve made progress.
Some days, I even believe it.
She doesn’t push. She never does.
She’s too good at her job.
I started coming here to feel closer to her.
To Alana. To sit in the same air she once filled with her breath, her panic, her pain.
I never thought it would help.
Didn’t think I’d even speak.
But it did help.
In my head, it’s a constant fucking storm—her laugh, her voice.
I can’t let go. I know I should.
She’s better off without me.
But she haunts me. Talking about it helps to ease the pain.
“I’m still not getting much sleep,” I murmur.
I always have the same nightmare.
She’s tied to the chair again.
Same warehouse. I don’t recognise the other faces.
But they nod at me. Like I belong.
And she looks up at me.
Eyes wide. Lips trembling.
She whispers, ‘Hunter?’ But I don’t move.
I want to. I try to.
But my feet won’t respond.
My hands stay at my sides.
Frozen.
“You know she got a tattoo?” I say suddenly, eyes flicking toward the window.
I shift in my seat. “Had a tail watch her walk into a tattoo parlour a few days ago. Following her to keep her safe… of course.”
Emily’s lips press into a line.
“Kaden…” It’s not even a reprimand.
Just my name. Soft. Sharp.
We’ve been working on loosening the grip.
I told her I’d stopped checking in, but I still do.
Even from across an ocean.
Having connections has its advantages.
I always know where she is.
I just don’t interfere.
I promised I’d protect her from a distance and I’ve kept that promise.
Even if every part of me wants to shatter it and beg her to look at me again.
“She got a bow and arrow across her wrist,” I whisper.
“I think… I think she got it for Hunter.”
Emily tilts her head.
“You mean, for you?”
I shake my head.
“No. Not me. Hunter. The version of me she fell for. The version of me I killed.”
“That’s not true,” she says gently.
“That version of you still exists. Somewhere.”
I shrug.
“Maybe.”
She leans forward slightly.
“Why are you here Kaden?”
I pause.
My hand stills on my sleeve.
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“Maybe to try becoming the man she thought I was. Even if she never sees it.”
Emily meets my gaze.
“Do you think you can?”
And for the first time, I don’t lie.
And that has to count for something. “I want to.”