Page 40 of Pretending to Love a Lyon (The Lyon’s Den Connected World)

G raham’s mind wouldn’t form words as Amelia leaned into his side. Was it the alcohol? Or was it the fact that his friend was being cut open in his own bed right now? Graham prayed he wouldn’t wake when they began to slice into him. He shut his eyes and the world spun. The only thing steady, warm, and soothing was Amelia’s body pressed against him. Whatever the reason, she was looking to him for strength, and he would give everything he had.

Though, at present, he possessed none for himself.

He didn’t want to say it out loud, but he didn’t think Alston would see the other side of this. Amelia would be devastated. Her aunt and cousin would try to take her away from him. Graham would sooner hang before he allowed that to happen. There was no force on this earth strong enough to take Amelia from his side. Not now, not as they sat here together on the brink of heartbreak. No one else would understand their pain. They only had each other now.

He peered down at her, hands laced, nose red, and lashes wet and clumped together. They were alone here, not that anyone cared to chaperone them in this moment.

Graham put his knuckle under her chin and tipped her face up until she met his eyes. Not long ago he’d thought leaving the house was the right thing to do, to sever the connection between them and lessen the pain of their eventual parting, but he was wrong. She belonged with him. And his place was right beside her.

“Whatever happens, I will not leave you. You will not face a single moment of this alone. Do you hear me?”

Fresh tears bloomed in her eyes, and she nodded. “I know you won’t.”

“No more pretending. You will be my wife. You will let me protect you, shelter you, and love you the way you deserve to be loved. Let me be the husband Alston would want for you. We may not always agree, but we’ll figure out a way through as long as we work together.”

A flicker of a smile appeared.

“I will always be here for you, Amelia. Always. Will you be my wife, in truth? So long as I draw breath, you will never want for anything.”

She licked her lips, her limpid eyes swallowing him in their shimmery depths of crystal blue.

“Yes, Graham.”

His heart lurched, relief and terror colliding in him at once. She would marry him? Just like that? That was all he needed to say?

“You’re certain?” he questioned. This was the wrong moment for this conversation, he realized. Her life would change forever if Alston died, and he almost certainly would. She was going to lose the one person who had entered the world with her, grieved with her through the deaths of both their parents, and shielded her from forces that tried to take her freedom from her.

But Graham didn’t know when he would find a better moment. He had to reassure her now that, even though it seemed her world was crumbling around her, he would be here. He would do everything in his power to make it right again.

He loved her. He loved her in so many ways that he couldn’t fathom it. He just loved her. Her taunting smile, her wicked humor, her tenacity, and her courage. He loved her.

“Yes. I’m certain. There is no one in the world more dependable than you or more giving. I could never say no. Not after all you’ve done for me. I didn’t see it before. I was too young and too impetuous to understand that the most important things in life are the people who are there for you. Even when you could barely tolerate me, you were still there. Ready to fight with me and for me. As if you were specifically made for me.”

His throat went dry. “Amelia,” he said hoarsely.

“I want to be worthy of you, Graham. I’ve never felt this way about anything. I am so scared of the words and thoughts that fill me when I think of you. But then, when I look at you, everything seems clearer and easier. I think that is love. You’ve become just as important to me as Alston. There is nothing else it could be. It’s so large, like a stone on my chest that only becomes weightless when you’re near me. Does that sound like love? If so, then I am in love with you.”

His heart ruptured with joy, an antithesis to the heavy sorrow that filled his limbs, and he could not stop himself from kissing her. But this was not the time for seduction. Not when they both waited for Death’s final decision and the loss of the one person they cherished most. He kissed her lightly, a brush of sweet promise against her lips. A vow to a future where they would never be apart.

He touched his forehead to hers. “I know what you mean. I fell in love with you a long time ago. I’ve been living with this crushing weight for years. But now it’s gone. Because now I have you.”

She smiled, sniffing and pressing her face against his shoulder. Graham cupped the back of her head and held her close.

They sat there like that, silent and comforting, until they fell asleep, leaning together on the sofa. They only woke when Petrov roused them sometime later.

“They are done, my lady,” he said gently.

Amelia stiffened. Graham eased to his feet. His body hurt from his bones to the roots of his hair.

“He’s alive?” Graham asked.

Petrov nodded as tears filled his eyes.

“Can we see him?” Amelia asked.

“Yes.”

Graham held out his hand to Amelia. She took it and he pulled her up, tucking her against his side as they returned to the corridor outside Alston’s room. The door was open, and footmen were carrying bloody sheets away. Amelia covered her eyes.

Graham paused at the door. “Do you want to stay out here?”

She peeked through her fingers. “Is it gruesome?”

“You may come in. He’s cleaned and covered,” Dr. Bradley said. “He’s alive still. That’s the best we could hope for.”

They entered, and Dr. Sloan was washing blood from his hands in a bowl of water.

“Your brother lives for now. A truly astounding outcome. The bleeding occurred from an organ called the spleen, but it was a small rupture, which may be the reason he survived this long. I found a great deal of old clotted blood and removed it. I also repaired the small laceration and the bleeding is now minimal. His organs, while pale, are clinging to life. His body will still need to do its part, and time will tell us if we have succeeded in thwarting death. There is always a risk of infection. In fact, I guarantee it. We will watch him carefully for fever and check the incision frequently. When infection comes, it will need to be treated quickly and completely if he has any hope of living.”

“I will make visits twice a day, my lady.” Dr. Bradely assured her. “Your brother continues to defy the odds, and I will be here to help him do it. He is a miracle.”

Amelia nodded. “I told you. We are both more stubborn than Death.”

While cleaning his glasses, Dr. Sloan approached. He was even younger than Graham had thought, though he hadn’t taken the time to study him earlier. The doctor’s gaze paused on Amelia in a way that made Graham’s hackles rise, but he suppressed his annoyance. He could hardly call the man out when he’d possibly saved Alston’s life.

“I would like to monitor his progress and take notes. If it is amenable to you, I’d like to remain here as guest and physician. Your brother’s surgery is an opportunity to progress medicine. There is much to observe and document.”

Amelia looked to Graham.

“You are the lady of the house. It is your decision,” he said.

She swallowed and turned toward Alston. She dropped Graham’s hand and went to her brother’s side. Graham joined her. Alston’s hands looked like white wax, so pale and void of color. His face wasn’t much better. His lips were a maroonish-blue. But his chest moved, not restful and deep, but light and slow, as if at any moment it might stop. Graham’s own hands were cold and numb. Even with the fire well fed and the room warm, there was a chill that hovered around Alston.

“He can stay,” Amelia whispered. “Sam would want to help others. If he knew that studying him could help save someone else in any way, he would.”

Graham turned back to the doctor and nodded. “Have Mrs. Keen ready a room for Dr. Sloan,” he said to the footman standing by.

“Thank you,” Dr. Sloan said.

“What do we do now, Graham?” Amelia asked.

“We wait, and we hope. We never stop hoping. Alston is young and strong.” Those things were all true, but Graham felt a pang of guilt as if he were lying to her, only protecting her from the crushing sorrow that pressed on him. His hope was false. He feared the time they had now was only time to say goodbye.

“Can we have a moment alone?” Graham asked. The remaining people left the room.

Graham pulled two chairs close to the right side of Alston’s bed and they sat.

“Do you think there is some part of him that can hear us?”

“I don’t know. But I have something to say all the same.”

She looked at him sadly. “You’re saying goodbye.”

“I’m going to take this chance just in case it is the only chance there is.”

She bit her bottom lip and faced her brother again. “Go on.”

Graham took Alston’s hand.

“Alston, I’m going to marry Amelia. Not because you asked me to or out of some expectation of duty or obligation. I’m going to marry her because I love her. In the days that you’ve been here resting, I saw what I didn’t want to see before. I found answers to questions I’d been afraid to ask for years. Amelia stole my heart, but I didn’t know if I could trust her. I didn’t know if she would ever return my affections.” He caught Amelia’s teary gaze. “But I fell in love with her anyway, and she agreed to marry me.”

Amelia smiled. “It’s my turn now. Sam, Graham left quite a bit of information out, but here is the truth: when I stopped trying to see the worst in him, I realized he was everything I’d been waiting for. I fell in love with him, and I’m going to marry him. I don’t think I deserve him, but I’m going to try. I’ve never wanted anything more than to be worthy of his love.” She reached for his hand.

Graham cleared his throat. “If I never speak to you again, I want you to know how much I have loved you like a brother. Until I met you, I didn’t realize how bored I’d become. I did everything right—studied hard, worked hard, did what was expected of me in every way—but I’d wasted my chance to be young. I became complacent in a way that was making me miserable. But then you came into my life, and it felt like I’d always known you. We’re ten years apart in age, but you made me feel like I had that time back. Time to laugh, to be frivolous, and to live in the moment. You showed me what it means to have a true friend and to go out and experience the world. You taught me that life waits for no one. People must reach out and claim the things they want. Many say that I am the strong one between us, but in truth, you are the strongest man I know. I’ve learned to be a better man because of you.”

Amelia wept as he spoke, and Graham held her hand. There was nothing left to do now but watch and wait.