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Nico opens the door to their apartment as the elevator doors open.

I haven’t spoken a single word to him since my parents ended our betrothal, and the few times I’ve seen him, Serenity was by his side.

Facing him now, with his hair brushed but not styled and wearing jeans and a shirt instead of a suit, he looks like a completely different man.

A man he never would have gotten to be if he married me.

Even with bags of worry and exhaustion under his eyes, satisfaction and joy shine from his dark orbs.

“Serenity looks good on you,” I say.

Nico curbs his wicked smile, but lust flashes in his eyes. Instinctual fear washes over me. Even though I never saw my abusers’ faces, my mind supplies their expressions with shocking clarity. Disgust curdles my stomach as phantom hands roam over me.

“Yes, she does. Thank you, Camilla,” Nico says.

His gentle tone pulls me from my spiral. Loretta’s phone vibrates in her pocket. She excuses herself and paces to the sitting room on the opposite side of the receiving area.

Nico leaves the door wide open and gestures for me to follow him into the apartment. I fit my purse strap more firmly on my shoulder and step into my sister’s haven. Her husband leads me into the kitchen.

I set my purse on the counter and thoroughly wash my hands at the sink at Nico’s behest. He watches with eerie intensity. Unease creeps up my spine, but he maintains his watch as Loretta joins us and goes through the same process.

My unease melts away as realization spears through me.

He protects my sister and his daughter from germs with the same ruthless intensity as he does from bullets and bad guys. Wonder flows through me until my aching joints pull me back into reality.

I’m happy my sister found love, but I’ll never let a man touch me ever again.

“Are you wearing perfume?” Nico asks.

I look down at myself with a frown. Ever since the attack, potent smells make me queasy, especially cologne or the smell of metal, but I also stress sweat like crazy, so I alternate between three different body sprays.

A light, fruity scent still wafts up from my clothes, but the stench of fear underneath clogs my nostrils.

The day flashes through my mind. All the surfaces I touched. The places I went. I bumped into Valentina at the park. Spent too much time in public.

Nothing is as filthy as my skin. My bruises may have faded, but I’m dirty.

So dirty.

“I need to shower,” I murmur through tingling lips.

I shouldn’t be here. I’ll infect Perla. I’m filthy. Broken. Unworthy.

A colorfully wrapped candy appears in front of my face on Loretta’s palm. My tongue lifts to the roof of my mouth as though to protect itself from the memory of extreme sourness.

“Need another?” Loretta asks.

I am safe. I am alive. I am loved. I am healing.

I scoff despite my queasiness and shake my head but take the candy and place it beside my purse on the counter.

“No, but I really do need to shower. I’m—”

“You’re here, Cams, and that’s what matters,” Serenity says from her bedroom doorway.

She stands barefoot in a blue and purple pajama set with her hair in a ponytail and my niece in her arms.

Nico stiffens and starts toward her.

I shake my head and meet her watery gaze. Her lower lip trembles, but Nico’s broad shoulders as he stalks down the hall block my view of her. She calls out despite his approach.

“You’re not dirty, Camilla. What they did to you wasn’t—”

“I stink, Serenity,” I interrupt. My insides shake. She saw through me too easily. I force myself to continue, needing to erase her anguish. “We went for a walk in the park. I smell like sweat and it’s gross. Plus, I’m wearing body spray.”

She takes a shaky breath as Nico cups her face.

After a moment, she clears her throat and says, “Oh, then take a shower in the guest room. I have some clothes you can borrow.” She takes another calming breath before passing the baby to her husband and offering, “If you want to get started, I’ll give the clothes to Loretta to pass to you.”

“I can do that,” I manage through a throat thick with tears.

I grab my purse off the kitchen counter and disappear into the room she indicated.

When I emerge from a quick but thorough shower, I towel dry my hair and avoid looking at my reflection until I finish applying my foundation. A single glance at my bare face may ruin my courage and send me straight out the front door.

I find an oversized set of sweats on the edge of the bed. Serenity and I have never shared the same clothing styles or size, but her offering is beyond perfect. I blink back unexpected tears, pull them on, and put my hair into a simple ponytail before standing in front of the full-length mirror.

The sweatshirt hem pools around my thin waist while the sleeves ride a little high on my forearms. Serenity always had the curves men lust over and the sweet, submissive side I could never replicate.

Too focused on my goals, I always barreled through life expecting only the best since that’s what I offered.

Tall, slim, graceful, and annoyingly stuck up.

Loretta knocks on the door.

I push my rumination aside and join her in the hallway.

My heart threatens to pound out of my chest as I step across the threshold into Serenity’s room.

She sits against the headboard in the middle of a massive bed. I hesitate when she pats the bed beside her. A tiny fist shoots up from the bundle in her arms.

Nico shuts the door on his way out, leaving me alone with my sister and niece.

The vulnerability in Serenity’s eyes pulls me across the room and into the bed. My hip and knee complain, but I scoot across the mattress until I’m an inch away from her,

Without warning, she places the tiny bundle in my lap. I stare down into the sweetest face and forget how to breathe as my niece hiccups and swings her chubby fist between us.

“She’s perfect, Nitty,” I whisper.

I flinch when Serenity wraps her hand around my wrist, but she pulls my arm forward and presses my palm against her daughter’s head.

Perla’s soft, springy curls break the dam of my emotions.

I sob for what I’ll never have. For what they stole from me. For all my broken dreams.

I purge until there’s no room in my tears for pain. The blurry sight of my beautiful niece fills me with wonder. With an impatient swipe of my arm, I clear my eyes and bend down to kiss her forehead.

She’s so soft, innocent, and sweet.

With every fiber of my being, I pray she’ll never have to experience the cruelties of men.

“I’ll protect you, Perla. You’re alive. You’re safe. You’re loved. You’ll never have to heal like I do,” I whisper against her smooth, delicate skin.

Serenity sniffles beside me. I sit back and pull her against my side. She’s the only one in the world I’d let me so close to me, and I need to comfort her, so I ignore the worms crawling under my flesh and rest her head on my shoulder.

“You did so good, Serenity. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, and I’m more proud of you than I can ever express.”

For a few minutes, she cries softly against my shoulder, but she bounces back fairly quickly. Her vibrant eyes and honest smile send peace through my soul for her.

She deserves a happily ever after. Whatever resentment I ignored over the past few months toward her no longer lingers in the back of my mind. I long to watch her thrive with her growing family even as despair grows in my chest.

In order to protect my sister and her children, I must help find the men who hurt me. Which means ripping open every oozing wound in my soul over and over again.

My queasiness returns, but it doesn’t matter.

I’ll tear myself apart as many times as it takes to ensure my attackers will never threaten my family again.