Page 22

I knew what street Vic lived on. I just couldn't remember the building or the number.

"Fuck this hill," I muttered as I stomped up Hillary Ave, the steep incline that would eventually lead me to Vic's apartment. The moment I reached the pale green building, I had to bend over and catch my breath. My calves were burning. When the pain finally subsided, I pulled the address out of my pocket and gave it a once over. Third floor, apartment thirty-one.

The trip to his floor was anxiety-inducing. The elevator took forever to make it to the bottom floor, and when the doors finally slid open, an old woman slowly hobbled out. She took so long that I almost missed the next trip up. I had to squeeze past her frail frame, almost accidentally pushing her out of the way.

When the rattling box stopped on the third floor, I visibly cringed at the gaudy runner of bright blue, purple, black, and white little squares. The pattern was supposed to cast some sort of optical illusion, but the carpet was far too dirty to cast anything.

I stood in front of door thirty-one for a very long time, biting my lower lip and taking calming breaths before knocking on the worn wood softly. Nothing happened. I knocked again a little louder, and the door opened, revealing a scowling Victor.

"Can we talk?"

"I don't want to talk right now."

"So, you're pissed that I went and slept with someone else because you turned me down." I crossed my arms defensively. "Spoiler alert, we never agreed to be exclusive."

His jaw dropped. "That's what you're taking away from this? Not the fact that you fucked my boss, of all people?"

"I was high as fuck—"

"Exactly! Which is why I can't be pissed at you! But I'm fucking livid with Alex. He took advantage of you!" Vic shouted.

Covering my ears, I staggered a few steps back. "Stop! Don't fucking do this to me! Don't take it away from me! I am not a fucking victim! I can make my own fucking choices! I'm so sick and tired of you acting like you can fix me. I'm a cock gobbling gutter slut. It's who I am. Stop acting like I wouldn't have fucked him sober because I would have. It's what I do."

"I can't stand this." Vic gestured toward my being.

"What? My clothes? I don't get it."

"Starburst is not just a stage name. He's your alter ego. He comes out any time someone tells you something you don't like.

"Starburst is just a stage name. This is who I am." Even I could tell my tone was petulant.

"It's not," Vic insisted, scrunching his nose. "When you're Isaac, you're genuine. When you're Starburst, you're fake as fuck."

The audacity! "You don't know fuck all about me! You've only ever met Starburst! You would run for the fucking wall if you ever met Isaac. He's a shit show! A complete fucking mess. Nothing but anxiety, crippling depression, and a ticking fucking time bomb of self-destruction!" Fighting back tears, I grumbled, "I need a drink. Have a good life."

I stomped off, and Vic closed his door, not bothering to follow me. Again. The moment the elevator doors slid closed, the sob I was fighting back escaped. I ruin everything. Every choice I make leads to disaster. Maybe Hobbs should make the choices for me. At least when he makes them, nobody else gets hurt. Just me.

I needed a fucking drink. Something. Anything to numb the pain that was drilling a hole in my chest. Wrapping my arms around myself, I trekkedarounduntil I spotted a bar with an outside patio. It looked classy, with tan walls, black booths, and beautiful wooden tables. Artifacts from the time before were displayed along the walls in protective cases.

"Hello! What can I get you?" the bartender asked with a cheery smile.

"Whiskey."

"Any particular brand?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small roll of sinders. "Whatever this will buy me. I want the whole bottle."

Snatching up the cash, the woman nodded and went to the back. She returned moments later witha fullbottle of Winters Whiskey and a glass. The alcohol was middle-grade and a bit harsh, but it would do. Ignoring the glass, Ipulled offthe top and took several large gulps from the bottle.

I wasoverhalfway through with the whiskey when two uninvited guests parkedthemselves next tome.It was hard to focus on their faces. One was a blond man smacking something loudly in his mouth.The other was a darker-toned man, largeand burlyand covered in grime.

"Mmmay I f-fucking help you?" I slurred, narrowing my eyes.

The blond grinned, nodding to something behind me. "That's you, ain't it?"

Slowly, I turned and looked up at my billboard. I should have gone to Hell's Gate. At least there, I wouldn't be harassed and could've drowned my sorrows in peace. "How observant of you."

"How much?"

I arched a brow, picked up the whiskey bottle, and took another swig.

"How much to get our dicks sucked?"

Everything around me was swirling as I chuckled, "First of all, b-boys—" I hiccupped. "I don't suck the dick of random roaches that scurry up to me from the streets."

The blond turned to his burly friend. "You hear this little puk? He's acting like he's something special."

"I'm fucking Starburst, bitches. You can't afford me." I finished the bottle and burped loudly. With a smirk, I stood up and sauntered through the building, nearly tripping with every step on my way out.

As I walkeddown the street, I heard footsteps behind me before an arm wrapped around my shoulder. I tried to yank away but onlymanaged to fallhard onto the ground. Someone grabbed my feet while another pulled me up by my underarms. Frantically, I thrashed and cried out.

"Keep him quiet!" A large palm covered my mouth as my body was dropped. The blond man from the barwas standing over me, unclasping his belt. "Roll him over."

Panic welled within me as I was forced onto my stomach. I tried to struggle, but the one holding me down was too strong. My pants were roughly tugged down, and I yelped, trying to bite the hand covering my face. I wiggled and fought but couldn't get away.

"Hold him still!" The blond thrust into me with absolutely no mercy.

Closingmy eyes, Iwhispered to myself, "I'm not here.This isn't happening. I'm okay. It will all be over soon."

And it was. After a few thrusts,hewas finished. I didn't bother getting up. I just allowed the next one to take his turn. There was no point in fighting. I was done. I only hoped they would kill me when they were done.

But that didn't happen.Theyscurried away, and I rolled to my side, unwilling to get up despite the late hour and biting cold. Maybe I should just lay here and freeze to death. I had no will nor the want to get to my feet. I felt nothing. I was completely numb. I could no longer feel the buzz of the whiskey flowing through my bloodstream. All I could feel was a hollow void deep inside.

"Are you alright, young man?"

I glanced up to see an old woman. I wasn't sure how long I had been lying on the ground with my ass exposed, but her presence was enough to make me move. I yanked up my pants, barely sparing the woman a glance before marching past her and staggering with nearly every step. Apparently, the alcohol was still in full effect.