Page 29 of Playing With My Heart Strings

baylor

Take My Life Into My Own Hands

The producers bring us back to the house later in the evening.

Breakfast was uneventful, without any drama, a small stroke of luck I’m grateful for.

Part of me hopes that because there are only five of us left, and Dusty has begun asking questions about Aspen’s feud with me, she’ll give up on whatever plan she has to get me eliminated and tone it down a bit.

While Valerie and Dusty were on their date, we all talked about our families and careers outside of the show. Well, they talked about their careers outside of the show. Katherine’s a pediatric nurse, Sage works in a legal office, and Aspen…

Now that I think about it, Aspen didn’t talk about her job, either.

“Hey,” I whisper to Sage. “Do you know what Aspen actually does for work?”

She stares blankly at me. “I…I don’t know? I think she does something related to music?”

I hum, thoughts whirling through my brain before muttering. “If she works in music, why hasn’t she been signed to a label?”

“That’s a great question,” Sage muses. “I’m curious now, too.”

Maybe Daniella can do some digging for me , I think. It’s risky, but any information I can use is information I want.

Boots clank across the hardwood floor, interrupting our conversation. Sage and I turn our heads at the same time as Dusty walks into the living room.

“Good evening, ladies. I’m looking forward to spending time with you all tonight.”

He grabs Katherine first, leaving the rest of us sitting on the sectional.

“How was your date today, Val?” Sage asks to break the silence.

“It was good!” She nods. “We went to a farmers market and picked out ingredients from recipes our families made when we were kids. Then we came back here and made them. There are leftovers in the fridge.” A flush creeps into her cheeks, and it’s not difficult to pick up on their connection.

“That’s great. Do you think your relationship is in a good place for next week?” Sage continues, her question coming out carefully.

“I do. I don’t want to speak too soon, but I think we really see each other for who we are, you know?”

We all nod, without anyone interrupting, not even Aspen. It seems she also wants to hear what Valerie has to say.

“We talked about his family a lot and everything they’ve done to support Dusty. There’s a lot more to him than being a famous country singer.”

It’s a similar, if not the same, conversation that Dusty and I had when he snuck up to my room last week, and a sinking feeling settles in my stomach as she continues to describe their day.

I’m happy Dusty’s family is so supportive.

That’s all anyone could ask for. But I can’t lie and say it doesn’t make me a bit sad for myself.

All I want is for my parents to be proud and support whatever dreams I have.

To not have to prove myself every time there’s a bump in the road, a wrench in my carefully thought-out plans.

“Who do you think will get the next date?” Aspen speaks up.

My eyes shift toward her, wary.

Valerie shrugs. “We don’t really talk about his other connections. I just worry about my own.”

“Has anyone here not gotten one yet?” Sage asks, and we all shake our heads. “I think you’re the only one so far to have had two, Val.”

“Lucky girl,” Aspen sighs. “It’ll be interesting to see who gets the dates next week and if that plays into who gets eliminated.”

A few murmurs of agreement rise before Katherine and Dusty walk back into the room.

“Baylor, do you want to go talk?” he offers before anyone else can pull him aside.

I nod, standing from my spot on the couch. Before following, I give a small smile and wave to the other girls. Not to brag, just a genuine act of kindness.

We walk outside, heading toward a plush sofa on the patio, the night air cooling my face. Dusty gestures to the couch, and I sit before he joins me, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around my shoulders.

“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about Aspen.” Dusty cuts straight to the chase. “I’m sure this isn’t news to you, but she brought up her concerns that you might…you might be here because of the producers. And I just want to clear the air and move past this drama for good.”

I fumble with my jacket lapel as I sigh.

“I knew you’d probably bring it up. I just want to preface by saying I’m not trying to throw her under the bus or anything, but Aspen’s had an issue with me since the very beginning.

And I don’t know what her problem with me is, but I’m here because I want to be here.

I’m here because of you. Not the producers.

I mean, I left my job to come on Heart Strings .

I’m making sacrifices to be here, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. ”

God, has it always been this easy to lie?

I hate it. Especially since I feel like Dusty and I have had great moments together, but they’ve mostly been off camera. And it’s not like I can bring up those dates now. Not with the producers breathing down our necks.

“Thank you for that. I really appreciate you being so honest with me.”

I smile at him, all while my lie gnaws at my stomach.

“Wait, what were you doing for work before you came on the show?” Dusty asks. “I don’t think we’ve ever talked about that before.”

I pause for a moment, trying to think of a believable answer, especially since he definitely saw me that first day of filming interviews.

“I worked in social media and public relations.” It’s the obvious answer, although it’s also one that might raise suspicion, so I have to tread lightly here. “I worked in Washington D.C. in the government sector.” Even if my dreams have shifted, there’s no harm in manifesting it still, right?

“Wow, what made you want to leave that to pursue music?”

Dig deep here, Baylor. You’re in this far, you may as well keep going.

“I’ve always done what others expect of me.

Or at least tried to. I’ve spent my entire life trying to prove that what I want is worth something to others.

But with this show, with music, I realized it’s what I am passionate about.

What I want to do. So I went for it. Even if it’s not what everyone else wants from me.

” I didn’t mean for all of that to come out, but it did.

Deep down, I think I have wanted to try a career in music, but the pressure from my parents and wanting to prove myself to them has always overshadowed my own dreams. It’s about time I take my life into my own hands and stop worrying about whether or not it pleases someone else, even if it’s risky.

Daniella would be so proud if she were here right now.

Dusty doesn’t say anything, and I worry for a moment that I’ve said something wrong.

“Did I—” The words falling out of my mouth are cut short as Dusty cups my face with his hands and leans in, our lips brushing gently. This kiss, unlike the ones we’ve shared off camera, is soft, unhurried.

My eyes flutter shut as I lean into him—his touch like waves crashing over me, both of us taking small breaths before diving back under the surface. His thumb strokes my cheek, and I wrap my arms around the back of his neck.

“I thought I might have said something wrong,” I whisper into his mouth.

“No, Baylor, you didn’t. That was exactly what I needed to hear.” He plants a kiss on my forehead then pulls back, gazing at me for a moment, his lips quirking up in a quick smile.

We stay there, embracing each other for a while longer, like we don’t care if we lose track of time and let the night slip away from us. He’s in no rush to get back to the other women, and I’m just following his lead.

He’s the same Dusty from the rooftop, but I’m not the same Baylor.

I don’t like being dishonest with him, but when the cameras are on, so am I.

I just hope he can’t see the truth behind my lying eyes.