Page 18 of Playing With My Heart Strings

dusty

Come to My Senses

It’s hard to focus my attention on Valerie, my second solo date of the week, and guilt rises in my knotted belly over it. She’s beautiful, with tawny skin, deep-brown eyes, and ebony hair that falls past her collarbones in loose, bouncy curls, but I can’t take my mind off Baylor.

Earlier this morning, I went on a group date with the six women who didn’t get a solo date this week and it wasn’t as difficult to keep my focus. My mind occasionally drifted, but then someone would start talking and bring me back to the present.

Right now, I don’t have that luxury.

Valerie and I are walking around Centennial Park, and it’s a beautiful day; the sun is shining and people are out enjoying the weather, but all I can think about is walking around the vinyl record store and performing at the dive bar with Baylor.

Everything was so effortless with her. Maybe that’s weird to say, considering we haven’t known each other for that long and I’m supposed to be getting to know the other women as well, but there’s something special about her.

I’m brought out of my thoughts when I look over at Valerie and realize she’s looking at me like she’s waiting for me to say something.

“What was that? I’m sorry.” I run a hand through my hair as I mentally kick myself. I should be more present in the moment with her.

“I just asked how the whole process is going for you. I imagine there must be a lot of pressure on you from your label and fans.”

“Oh.” Damn, does she have to be so observant and caring? “Yeah, it’s definitely taken some getting used to. I’ve never dated multiple people at once.”

She laughs, and the sound—like the tinkling of wind chimes—relaxes me a little.

“How has everything been for you so far?” I’m genuinely curious. I have no idea what the position the women are in is like, and I want to hear her take on this whole show.

“It’s been fine so far. Most of the girls are great. I haven’t had the chance to get to know them too well, but from the conversations I have had, they all seem nice and like they’re truly here to find their person, not just advance their music career.”

My mind wanders back to Baylor when Valerie mentions the other girls.

I wonder what she’s doing right now and if she’s making connections.

There’s a slight fear in me that maybe she’s not here to truly find love, that maybe this is all just a means to an end for her.

We didn’t really talk about that yesterday on our date, and maybe that was something I should have asked.

“I’m glad to hear that.” I take Valerie’s hand in mine, trying my best to devote my attention to her.

She takes my hand, and we continue walking through the park, looking for a place to sit. We eventually come up to a plaid blanket and wicker basket that’s been laid out by the producers.

“Oh, this is cute!” Valerie places a hand on her cheek when she sees the set up for today.

“Brad really outdid himself today,” I mutter to myself.

“Hmm?” She looks at me, a confused look on her face.

My eyes widen when I realize she heard me.

“Nothing, nothing. Come on.” I gesture for her to sit.

She sits cross legged on the blanket, and I lower myself to the ground, sliding closer to her.

There’s another small blanket in the basket, and I drape it over us before checking out what else is inside.

“What do we have?” Valerie cranes her neck toward the basket, her chin close enough to rest on my shoulder.

“Looks like we’ve got some cold cuts, cheese, fruit, and bread,” I reply as I pull out each item. There’s also a wooden charcuterie board and a small container of what looks like melted chocolate.

“Mmm, this looks delicious.” She places the board in front of us and starts unpacking all of the food, spreading it out on the board. I let her do her thing, because the arrangement won’t look half as pretty if I’m the one setting it up.

“You’re good at this.” I turn my head toward hers as a wide smile spreads across her face.

“I used to do this in college as a side business, it’s nothing.” Pink streaks across her cheeks as she looks at me, and a loose strand of hair falls into her face.

I brush the curl out of her eyes and tuck it behind her ear.

“Dusty?” Her big doe eyes flick up to mine.

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?” she whispers, the sound almost getting carried away on the light breeze.

I nod, moving in as I wrap my hand around the back of her neck. Our lips brush before the kiss deepens and the taste of cherries fills my mouth.

Baylor got cherries in her drink at the bar.

Fuck. Why am I thinking about Baylor?

I squeeze my eyes, trying to dispel my wandering thoughts, but as Valerie kisses me, the only thing I can think of is what Baylor’s lips might feel like. How she would kiss. If she’d be shy and take things slow, or if she would confidently swipe her tongue between my?—

Fuck.

I pull back from Valerie before the fantasy can go any further.

“Everything okay?” Her brows pinch together and the pit in my stomach grows.

“Yeah, Valerie, everything’s great.” I give her as convincing a smile as I can muster, because what else am I supposed to say? No, Valerie, I was thinking about another girl while I was kissing you. A kiss that, I might add, is going to be aired on national television.

Yeah, probably best if I don’t say that.

She continues putting together the snacks, and I try my absolute best to push Baylor to the furthest depths of my mind.

I peer over my shoulder to make sure no one is following me.

The producers said I could do whatever I wish with my time off.

While I’m sure they don’t want me visiting the women off camera, they never explicitly said I couldn’t, and I’m more of an ask for forgiveness rather than permission type of guy.

I somehow manage to ditch the producer who’s been following me around like a lost puppy the last few days to take an Uber to the hotel I heard the girls were staying at. After confirming the coast is clear, I walk up to the front desk.

“Can you tell me what room Baylor is in? She’s a contestant on Heart Strings ,” I ask as I tap my fingers nervously against the counter. I don’t know her last name, but realistically, how many Baylors would be staying here?

“Sorry, I can’t give out that information.” The girl doesn’t even look up at me from behind her computer screen as she rejects my request.

“Please? It’s an emergency.” I turn on the charm, willing her to just look up. I hope she doesn’t hear the desperation, but if I’m being honest, I am a desperate man.

“I’m sorry—” She looks at me, and her mouth gapes into an O shape. “Y-you’re?—”

“Dusty Wilder, yes.” I flash her a smile, and she tells me Baylor’s room number without any more hesitation. “Thanks.” I tip my hat to her and rush over to the elevators.

I punch the level four button in the elevator when I see a producer walk through the sliding doors.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I mutter as I repeatedly smash the close button on the elevator doors and hide my face from view.

“Wait! Hold the elevator!” he yells, but the door has already closed, and I let out a sigh of relief.

That was way too close.

Peeking around the corners again to make sure no one is coming, I exit the elevator and speed walk to her door.

When I reach her door, I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm my nerves. I only need to knock twice before the lock clicks and the door opens to a shocked Baylor.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

You’re going to get caught.

“Dusty?” She raises an eyebrow. “What are you?—”

Fuck it.

My hands cup both sides of her face, and our lips crash together.

For a split second, I think maybe she doesn’t want this as much as I do, but then she kisses me back.

Her mouth seems to fit perfectly with mine, and when she takes a small breath and I slide my tongue past the small gap in her lips, she opens up to me, entangling us in a slow but sensual dance.

Her hands slide up my jaw around the back of my neck as mine travel down her body to her waist. A soft moan leaves her, and I can’t lie and say it doesn’t give me a bit more confidence.

When we finally break apart, I look into her eyes, hoping to find a glimpse of something to further reassure me. Instead I’m met with what seems like uncertainty.

“Maybe that—” she whispers, but I place a finger against her lips. I don’t want to ruin the moment with a conversation about why we shouldn’t have done that.

“Shh…” I whisper and then kiss her again before disappearing down the hall into the elevator. I wish I could stay longer, but from now on, if I have any say in things, Baylor and I won’t have to rush. We’ll have all the time we need.