Page 36 of Playing with Forever (Players Club Sinners #1)

Andrea

T hat night, I woke up from a dead sleep to Chase thrashing in the bed beside me. For a second, I felt completely disoriented, being wrenched from a pleasant dream of walking through an enchanted forest, to lying in bed staring into the dark wondering what the hell was going on.

There was a soft groan next to me, and I rolled over to face Chase’s side of the bed, bits and pieces of consciousness returning to me as I realized he was in the throes of a night terror.

I had heard about people having nightmares like this before, the kind where you tried to call out but were completely lost in the void.

What I hadn’t realized was how it sounded.

The screams and moans didn’t sound normal.

The person was still asleep, so they couldn’t push the words past their lips.

It made Chase’s moans sound eerie and helpless, his voice completely different from how I’d ever heard it before.

He was covered in sweat, and I could see his eyes moving frantically back and forth underneath his closed eyelids.

He gripped the bedsheets so hard his knuckles were white.

And those horrified moans, half-formed words, kept slipping out of his mouth.

It was heartbreaking, watching as though he couldn’t escape whatever was weighing him down.

He kept trying to talk but it was like his mouth couldn’t work properly—of course it couldn’t, he was asleep.

But I was sure it only made him feel that much more panicked.

I gently gripped his shoulders. I didn’t know what else to do, I just knew that I needed to help him, and I had to make that terror end for him. “Chase. Chase, it’s me,” I said, giving him a small shake to wake him up. “Chase…you’re okay. You’re safe, you’re with me.”

Chase let out a startled, horrified noise, one that honestly chilled me to my core, and then his arm flew up, his fist just barely missing my face, sending me flying off him.

I nearly fell off the bed but managed to regain my balance in time, yelping in surprise.

I knew Chase was strong, and fast, but I’d never had any of it used against me before, like I was an opponent.

Chase rolled over and made a noise like a dying animal. My heart was pounding frantically while I tried to figure out what to do to help him without touching him again, which seemed to set him off. “Chase, please, wake up, please wake up, it’s me, it’s Andrea, you’re safe! You’re okay!”

I could feel my voice rising in panic, could feel my own fear try to choke me. I needed to soothe him, but how could I do that when I sounded so scared? I watched, helpless, as he kept twitching and moaning. He wasn’t ever able to form full words but sometimes it sounded like he was begging.

My throat closed up and hot tears filled my eyes. I had never felt so completely helpless. I wanted to wake him up but he didn’t seem able to hear me, and I was honestly worried if I tried touching him again he’d hit me.

He thrashed again, and this time his arm shot out to his side of the bed like he was trying to fight off some threat, hitting the lamp on the nightstand and knocking it over with a loud crash.

Chase’s entire body jolted at the sound, and his eyes flew open.

He gasped, abruptly sitting upright, his lower body tangled in the sheets, his chest absolutely coated in sweat.

For a second I wasn’t sure if he could see me, or the room, or anything else.

Slowly, Chase’s hands unclenched, but he was still breathing hard, still seemingly trying to acclimate himself to where he was.

“Chase,” I said gently. “You okay?”

His gaze snapped over to me, and I was taken aback by the rush of emotions passing across his face—shame, embarrassment, humiliation. It cracked something inside of me just to witness it. He looked haunted. Wrecked by whatever nightmare he’d just had. Like he wasn’t fully here.

“Andrea… fuck .” His voice was hoarse like he’d been yelling—or trying to, anyway. “Are you all right?”

“No, not at all.” I gave a shaky laugh that died in my throat. What a ridiculous question. I wasn’t the one who’d just had a horrible nightmare, but that entire episode had shaken me badly.

Still, I crawled across the bed towards him to offer him comfort, to make sure he was okay, but Chase scrambled up and out of bed before I could touch him, like the idea of being close to me was unbearable to him.

He nearly tripped in the tangled sheets in his haste to put distance between us. “I’m going to go sleep in the guest bedroom.”

I gaped at him, shocked at how cold and withdrawn he seemed. “What?”

Chase’s jaw visibly clenched as he reached down and grabbed the lamp and set it back on the nightstand. “I’ll see you in the morning. Sorry for disturbing your sleep. It won’t happen again.”

I shook my head in confusion. “What—what are you talking about? Chase, talk to me. Are you okay? Let me be here for you.”

Chase’s expression was completely blank. Shuttered. Detached, even. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep, Andrea.”

He walked out, and the silence he left behind was deafening. The sheets still held the warmth of his body, the scent of his skin. I sat frozen there, arms wrapped around my middle, trying to hold myself together.

I wasn’t na?ve. I knew Chase had seen and done things in the military that he didn’t talk about. I knew he carried ghosts. But seeing him in despair, hearing the way his voice cracked with panic, and then watching him build a wall between us so fast I couldn’t keep up…it gutted me.

I wasn’t trying to fix him. I just wanted to hold him. To be there in a way he’d already been for me so many times. But he clearly didn’t want that from me. Not even for a second.

I curled up into a ball on my side, my heart aching, wondering how I could miss someone who was still just down the hall.

* * *

I struggled to go back to sleep. I was shaken up, I couldn’t deny it, but my mind also couldn’t stop racing, thinking about Chase. Several times I almost got up and went into the guest bedroom to crawl in with him and hold him, his stubborn distance be damned, but I always stopped myself.

The middle of the night wasn’t the right time for an argument, and that’s what this could very well turn into. I’d leave it for morning.

I slept fitfully when sleep finally came, and was in desperate need of coffee when I dragged myself out of bed. Chase was already up and dressed for work when I entered the kitchen and living area.

“Hey,” I said softly. “How’re you feeling?”

“Fine.” Chase’s tone was clipped, inviting no further conversation. He finished his coffee and washed his cup. “I’m ready to go when you are.”

I exhaled a deep, shaky breath, feeling extremely off-kilter.

Since I’d moved in, Chase had started making breakfast in the mornings when he woke up before me, although we often swapped back and forth depending on who got to the kitchen first, and he always made me coffee.

I poured myself a cup, but didn’t make myself anything to eat.

I wasn’t hungry. My stomach was in knots.

This man felt like a stranger to me, someone I didn’t recognize.

The Chase I knew had inspired fire in me, and while he’d always driven me insane when we’d met the first few times over the years, before we started…

whatever this was… he had never been cold.

If he’d been like this with me, I never would’ve wanted him.

I felt so confused and unsure, having no clue how to navigate this emotional landmine with him.

I finished getting ready for work and Chase was silent as he drove me to the office.

He didn’t talk to me or touch me. Not holding my hand, not a reassuring brush of his fingers along the back of my neck, not even the absentminded, possessive way he used to rest his palm on my thigh like I was his to protect—his to keep.

It was only then, sitting in that awkward quiet, that I realized just how often he’d touched me before. How casual and natural it had become, like he needed that contact because it grounded him somehow. And I hadn’t realized how much I’d started to rely on it, too.

Where had that man gone? Now, his hands were locked on the steering wheel like he was holding on for dear life. And when we arrived at my office, he dropped me off without kissing me goodbye as had become our routine.

Stupidly, I felt like crying.

I was distracted all day. I knew that people could tell something was up. A lot of my coworkers were a bit hungover after last night’s party but it was pretty clear that wasn’t the issue with me. I felt like a bug under a microscope and could only hope I wasn’t becoming the center of office gossip.

Still, I tried texting Chase a few times, but I never got a reply. I tried to keep things casual. Just the usual what’s for lunch? How are things at work? I even tried to get him riled up by asking if he was looking after Naomi today.

Nothing. So, I texted Austin, who told me that Chase had gone home early today. Definitely not normal for him.

“Everything all right?”

I jolted in surprise and nearly dropped my phone at the unexpected sound of Brandon’s voice. I looked up, wondering how he’d walked into my office without me hearing or noticing. “Sorry. Yeah. Just stressed.”

Brandon gave me a concerned look. “I’ve seen you stressed. This is different.”

I sighed and glanced at the clock, knowing I was useless today at work. Especially now knowing that Chase was at home, alone.

I glanced back at Brandon. “Look, if I—if I left early, would you cover for me?”

“Of course.” Brandon sounded surprised that I even had to ask. “I’d do anything for you.”

I was already standing up and gathering my things. “Thanks so much. I owe you one.”

I was going to figure out what was going on with Chase and make him talk about it, one way or another. I’d never backed down from a fight when it came to this man. Why the hell was I letting him rattle me now?

Although, I was going to make him pay me back for the rideshare I had to order. He could just punish me for the bratty attitude later.

When I arrived at his building, I squared my shoulders and went up to his place. The door was locked, typical Chase, but he’d given me a key so I just let myself in.

I walked inside and came to an abrupt stop. My luggage and all my other personal things were packed up and by the front door, his message clear.

He was kicking me out.