Page 60 of Playing Dirty (Leighton U #4)

Theo

Eventually, the nurses force Madden out of my bed and back to his own room despite both of our protests. The last thing either of us wants is to be out of the other’s sight, but I need the rest, what with my entire body having been literally hit by a truck.

“You can come back in the morning,” I hear the nurse tell him as she wheels him out the door, though he insisted he could walk back to his room instead.

His gaze finds mine over his shoulder before he turns the corner down the hall, and there’s the smallest hint of a smile when he mouths three words that cause my heart to stumble in my chest.

“I love you.”

I barely have time to return the sentiment before he disappears from sight.

Mom and Dad slip into the room only a handful of minutes later, the two of them looking a bit worse for wear as they let the door close behind them.

Dad specifically looks like he’s aged a decade since I last saw him, and Mom looks ready to collapse where she stands until she drops down on the edge of my bed.

“How are you feeling, love?” she asks, resting her hand on mine.

“Tired,” I murmur, my voice feeling a bit hoarse. “And thirsty.”

She grabs a cup of water for me right away, but my father takes it from her hand and goes to fill it with a pitcher the nurse had brought in earlier this afternoon.

“I’ve got it, Becca.”

It’s weird, seeing them together after everything that’s happened, but especially watching them lean on each other for support.

The irony isn’t lost on me, considering they were together the first two decades of my life, but I guess I’ve adapted to this new normal of Dad and Carla being together more than I thought.

I guzzle down the water after Dad hands it to me, and I don’t even have the chance to ask him for a refill before he’s already taking the cup from me and pouring more.

Mom’s fingers wrap around mine in a tight squeeze, drawing my attention to her.

“The doctors said we can stay—”

“You don’t have to. I’m fine,” I insist.

If anything, I wish the nurses would move Madden and me into the same room.

Both of us know the answer without even asking, which is why we didn’t bother in the first place, but part of me hopes he might sneak down here at some point during the night, if only for a couple hours until a nurse inevitably finds us.

Mom pins me with a glare. “You’re not staying here alone overnight. ”

“Madden is right down the hall,” I point out.

“Yes, and Carla is staying in there with him so he doesn’t attempt to sneak down here.”

My gaze snaps to my father—the source of the statement—and my lips part to respond, but my mother beats me to the punch.

“Which means one or both of us will be staying with you as well.”

Well, fuck a duck.

I just got cuddle-blocked by my fucking parents.

The thought is gone as soon as it enters my head, though, after realizing what my father said.

All the pain meds the nurses have been pumping into me have made it a little harder to comprehend everything that’s been happening, but I know the two of them saw Madden and me together in my bed earlier.

And I remember Madden telling me he spoke to his mom, and from the way he sounded, I’d assumed she was supportive of it.

I should’ve known the view wouldn’t necessarily extend to my father, which is why I can’t be surprised he’s the one trying to keep us apart.

I just wasn’t expecting my mom to be on his side.

“Staying here a few nights isn’t going to be enough to stop us from being together,” I tell them, the bite in my tone leaving little room for debate. “I love him, and—”

“We’re not trying to stop anything, Theo,” Mom cuts in delicately.

“Really? It sure seems like you are.”

My glare locks on my father, despite Mom being the one I’m conversing with, and he doesn’t so much as blink. There’s not a flick of emotion in those blue irises as he looks at me, assessing and scrutinizing as always.

“We’ve already asked for you to be transferred to the same room,” Mom starts, slicing through my irritation, “but Madden’s being discharged tomorrow, so they didn’t see the point in moving him for one night. ”

The statement has my attention darting to my mother, gauging it as sincere the moment my gaze collides with hers.

Oh.

A sheepish sort of grimace pulls at my lips, and some strange mixture of guilt and embarrassment coils in my stomach. Because that was certainly a turn of events I wasn’t expecting, and it’s the only reason I find myself fumbling for some sort of explanation.

“Look, I know it might be a little strange, but—”

“You don’t have to explain anything, son,” says my father.

I glance up to find him drawing up a chair beside me. A somber expression pulls his face down as he meets my gaze, and I can’t help the confusion grabbing hold of me.

“He’s right, love,” Mom whispers, grabbing my attention again. “You don’t owe us any sort of explanation for what’s happening between you and Madden. But…I think it’s time we gave you one.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask slowly.

Mom glances over to my father, her eyes imploring as she gives him a nod.

He folds his hands in front of him, resting them on the mattress top beside my shoulder, and for the first time in…God, ever, my dad looks uncertain and off-balance. Nervous, even, and it’s enough to make me wonder where this could possibly be going.

“Look, Theo,” he begins, his brows drawn at the center, “I know you’re still angry with me, and things haven’t been easy since your mom and I split. I recognize I’m to blame for that, and…I’m sorry.”

I frown at the unexpected apology. “It’s fine, don’t—”

“No, just let me say this, okay?” he cuts in, lifting one hand to rest on my shoulder.

“Your mom and I… We did a really good job at hi ding the flaws of our marriage from you. We weren’t in a good place long before you ever went to college, and neither of us were truly happy.

Staying together was the easier option. It was comfortable, and I was content…

until Carla came into the picture.” He looks over at my mother, his eyes already glimmering with unshed tears before whispering, “I should have left, I know that. Before I crossed the line and had an affair, I should have asked for a divorce, and that’s a regret I’ll live with for the rest of my life.

Hurting either of you the way I have… It’s not something I envisioned ever doing. ”

“But you did,” I state as I look from him to Mom and back again. Because she can’t seriously be buying this shit. “You destroyed everything. You—”

“Oh, my love,” Mom cuts in, her hand tightening around mine. “It takes two people to be in a marriage, and it takes two to let it fall apart. And it’s our love for you that held us together as long as we did. Not love for each other.”

Her gaze flicks to my father for the briefest moment before she looks back at me, a genuine smile crossing her face.

“If there’s one thing your father and I still agree on, it’s that we got one amazing thing out of the years we were together, and that’s you.

Call it cliché if you want, but you were the glue that held us together, and without you there, it was like our last shred of love disappeared.

And then…” Her shoulders lift in a little shrug. “Well, you see where we are now.”

“But that’s in no way your fault,” my father quickly adds, his voice cracking on the last couple words.

“It was still my decision to pursue Carla when and how I did, and I’m not proud of it.

I’m ashamed by the way I disrespected your mother and all the years we spent together.

But, Theo… I’m not going to sit here and lie by saying I’m not grateful for what I’ve found with Carla.

” There’s a somberness in his smile before he adds, “I kn ow you’re still taking time to adjust to all this, and that’s okay.

I just hope you can give space to both of those truths at once, no matter how contradictory they may seem. ”

His words take me back to the conversation Madden and I had, and I know they’re as true now as they were then. But with him, it feels… different. Like there’s something I’m missing.

“Why are you telling me this? Why now, after all this time, would you—”

“Because this apology has been a long time coming, and I wish I would’ve done it sooner.” He pauses and clears his throat. “And because I never want you to stop yourself from chasing something that makes you happy. Especially because of what someone else might think.”

Just like that, the pieces come together.

A knot forms in my throat, stealing my ability to speak, so all I do is nod instead.

His attention remains locked with mine, countless unspoken words and emotions passing between us in a single moment.

The hand resting on my shoulder feels like it weighs a million pounds, and the feeling intensifies when he gives it a gentle squeeze.

But the strangest thing happens when he releases me.

All the pressure and frustration disappears, almost like he plucked it right out of me.

“I’m gonna go check on Carla and Madden, but I’ll be back in a bit,” he states before looking at my mom. “Becca, let me know if either of you need anything.”

Mom nods, and he heads out the door, disappearing as soon as he turns down the hall.

I stare at the opening long after he’s left, not sure of what I’m feeling anymore.

Lighter, for sure, and I’m not as angry as I was before, yet it’s still lingering there, simmering under the surface.

But I know it’s not because the apology lacked sincerity on his part.

It’s me. My willingness to let go and forgive him for the choices he made.

And…I think that’s a battle I need to fight within myself now.

Releasing a long sigh, I turn and look at my mom. “I really need to go to therapy.”

To her credit, my mom does her best to stifle any smile or laughter, but she fails. Miserably, I might add.

“I’m sorry. It’s not funny, I just wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

Yeah, me neither.

But since my distinct dislike for needles takes tattoo therapy off the table, I should probably try Madden’s other suggestion.

She shifts on the bed, sliding up beside me in the spot Madden occupied less than an hour ago. Like him, she wraps me in her embrace and traces her fingers up and down my arm in the way she always did when I was a little kid.

It’s calming. Soothing.

And it allows me to finally relax—though that might also be in part from the pain meds.

“You’re an adult now, and I’m not planning to tell you what to do—”

“And yet you’re going to anyway,” I say with a little chuckle, and she aims for the best menacing glare she can muster.

“When did you get so mouthy?”

I arch a brow. “Where do you think I got it from?”

“Your father, obviously,” she jokes lightly, drawing another laugh from both of us.

It’s the best feeling in the world, seeing her so happy and carefree again.

Almost as if all the pain and bullshit from earlier this year is so far behind her, it’s not even in the rearview mirror anymore.

And if she can manage that in such a short amount of time, I’ve gotta have faith I’ll be able to do the same.

She rests her cheek on the top of my head and hums a little once we both regain our composure.

“Sometimes, when you’re in the thick of all these big feelings and changes and decisions, you’re not able to see things clearly.

But then you get to the other side, and it all makes sense,” she says gently.

“Your father has his faults, and I’m not going to defend what he did.

That’s a cross he has to bear. But he does deserve to be happy. ”

“So do you,” I point out.

She pulls back, and I find her smile is bright and as resilient as ever; a true beacon of light through the darkness.

“And I am, my love. I get to watch my son grow into a wonderful young man and take on the world. Right now, that’s all I need.” She pauses, nudging me playfully. “Now, if he’d make sure not to get in any more car accidents, I’d be grateful for that. I don’t need any more gray hairs.”

A low chuckle slips out at her teasing. “I’ll do my best.”

“Good. Now, tell me about this boy you’re so clearly in love with.”

My brows shoot up at the request. After all, being supportive of me coming out is one thing, but this…has to be a lot for her. A betrayal, even. First Dad falling for Carla and then me falling for his new wife’s son.

Yet I don’t see an ounce of hurt or bitterness in her eyes as she waits for me to speak. Only eagerness.

“You’re really not upset,” I murmur, and though it’s more an observation than a question, she answers anyway.

“Love is the most beautiful thing on this planet, Theo. I could never be upset about you finding it.” She reaches up and brushes a few pieces of hair from my forehead before inquiring, “Now, are you going to tell me about him, or do I need to go track down his room and interview him myself?”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t help the smile tugging at my lips as I start talking about Madden.

I fill her in on all the amazing pieces of who he is, but also the countless things he’s shown me about myself.

And as more and more details float in the air between us, I feel lighter.

Like this secret that’s been an anvil pressing down on my chest for weeks on end, suffocating me with layers of guilt, betrayal, and longing, is finally lifting.

And now, I can finally breathe.