Page 118 of Player

Clarissa

“You’re awfully quiet.”

Finn doesn’t answer, his eyes are fixed on the road ahead. His silence is a foreign thing, a surprise coming from an unknown place.

We’ve time alone now. Whatever’s bothering him can be fixed.

Finn is taking me to Derry for a few days. “A break from the shenanigans,” he informed me early this morning. A few days off? With this man? No, I’m not complaining.

Derry is about a six-hour drive north and we’ve been on the road for two. Between the lovely Irish countryside and a successful night, I should feel relaxed. Except Finn looks tired, and I wonder if this trip was a good idea.

I try to engage him in conversation. “O’Brien will be thrilled by your performance last night.” Finn had been in rare form. Insulting and egging on his opponents, acting the madman, allowing himself to be hit. I’m beginning to wonder if he enjoys the pain because he never takes the easy road and always gets into the cage against the worst of them.

Last night, he brushed off my offer to ice his swollen face, informed me that a good night’s sleep was in order, then left me to sleep alone. And it’s crazy that in a short amount of time, I’ve gotten used to him next to me. I missed him in my bed. Missed the feel of his big body snug against mine, the touch of his hand on my hip, his morning wood thick against my ass.

Finn doesn’t respond.

I sigh without making a sound then occupy myself by watching miles of green grass roll by. Brilliant flashes of white interrupt the landscape, and I almost laugh when I spot the small blue and pink dots coating the sheeps’ wool. I want to ask Finn about it yet don’t. Giving him space to work through whatever is troubling him even when doing so troubles me.

It feels like I know him. His goodness. His soul. Still, I know very little about his life. I glance at him, so contemplative, so darn quiet.

I bite my lip and make a decision. The next few days, it’ll be my mission to discover the truth about Finn McDuff.

“Do you miss this?”

“Ireland?” He nods. “Yes and no. Mostly yes.”

Victory—he’s talking. “I feel the same way about Maine. The fresh air, small towns, peace and quiet.”

“But you left.”

“I’m ambitious. I craved a bigger life, full of opportunities and challenges Maine couldn’t offer me. I felt like a big fish in a small pond there. I couldn’t stay without experiencing what was out beyond the limits.” I turn to smile at him. “We’re alike in this way, you and I.”

“Perhaps.” He draws in a breath. “Though sticking to a small pond is wiser. Little fish are too easily eaten by the bigger ones. Then, where will ambition get you?”

“Have to catch me first.”

I wait for the smile that usually follows. It never appears. A few awkwardly tense seconds pass before he pulls the car to the side of the road and parks.

He’s out of the car and pulling my door open before I can process what’s happening. Taking my hand, he tugs me across a field and leads me up a small hill. I glance over my shoulder and gasp, “The car door is still open.”

“This won’t take long.”

He digs into his pocket.

My eyes go wide at the condom. “Now?”

He unbuttons my shorts and tugs them off with my underwear. Without a word, he tackles me to the ground and proceeds to kiss me so aggressively, so passionately, every worry disappears. He lifts his hips and wiggles, the brush of his pants on my legs as he shimmies free.

The top of his hand brushes against my stomach. His kiss relentless and all-consuming.

My eyes flash open and lock with his as he thrusts into me. Knowing he was watching me this entire time is a turn on, despite his somber blue eyes.

What’s wrong?

He circles his hips and I gasp at the delicious stretch. Finn wasn’t kidding when he boasted about his size. Every time we make love, he finds a new way to remind me of it, too.

I try wrapping my legs around his hips but he’s not having it. Instead, he spreads my thighs wide and pins me to the grass with his body, hips flexing and, with full force, fucks me into the earth. I feel everything, the soft cushion of grass, the cloudless blue sky, his tongue mating with my own, inches and inches of hot muscled body pressed into mine.