Page 39 of Play Me

CHAPTER

TWENTY-THREE

Astrid

Things just got so freaking real.

I listen to Gray’s breath cut through the silence of the night, the tempo quick and hurried—matching mine. A gentle breeze ruffles the ends of his hair beneath his hat, lifting his woodsy cologne and taunting me with it. Like I need to be teased anymore.

Five minutes ago, I knew exactly what I was doing. I weighed the pros and cons of having sex with Gray and decided the risk was worth the potential reward. My logical brain deduced that. But here we are, precisely where I asked to be, and the alarm bells are ringing in my head.

“So,” I say, forcing a smile, “here’s the thing. It’s not my favorite thing about myself, but it is a part of who I am.” I heave a breath. “I overthink things.”

“You don’t say?”

My smile is wide … and real. “I know that I just spent the truck ride telling you that this is what I want— and it is ,” I add quickly.

“But I talk a good game, and I know that I seem like the kind of woman who knows what she wants. You’d be surprised to learn that I’m a lot more nervous than you might think. ”

“About what, Astrid?”

“Oh, life. Relationships. Sex.” I pause. “You.”

He brushes a lock of hair off my shoulder with the gentlest touch. “Do you want my honest take?”

“On what?”

He grins. “You.”

“Um, I don’t know. That depends on what you have to say.”

His chuckle rumbles through me. “I think your tough-girl act is a mask that you hide behind to protect yourself.” He searches my eyes for a reaction—one I struggle to keep from him, mostly because I’m not sure how I feel about him nailing me so easily.

Although, I’d love for him to nail me in other ways right now .

“And believe it or not, I can relate in a lot of ways.”

I take in a shaky breath and exhale it with my whole body.

“If I were a betting man,” he says, “I’d guess that you protect yourself because you’ve never been safe enough to relax.”

His words are a shot to my heart. They’re a key that unlocks a lockbox filled with my truths. How does he know this about me?

I’m not prepared for the hot tears that fog my vision, or the ferocious kindness swimming in his dark brown pools. I feel seen in a way that’s brand new to me. Understood without saying a word.

He runs a thumb across my cheek while sharing the sincerest, sweetest smile ever bestowed upon me.

“Regardless of what happens tonight, or when we go back to Nashville—whether you hate me or not—you’re safe with me,” he says softly.

I sniffle back a heap of emotion, but then it hits me that I came here to get fucked and, instead, I’m crying. And for once, I’m not crying because someone’s being an asshole. I’m crying because he’s … not.

“There you go,” I say, laughing through the feelings clogging my throat. “You had to go and ruin everything.”

His chin tilts to the sky as he laughs, too.

I dry my face of any errant tears with the bottom of my shirt. The cord that’s been wound around my chest for as long as I can remember is slightly looser. I consider momentarily that he could be lying to me, just telling me what he thinks I want to hear—but I dismiss it almost immediately.

Because that’s not true. That’s not what he’s doing, and I know it in the depths of my soul.

My heartbeat quickens as I wrestle with his promise that I’m safe with him. The sentiment that I’ve yearned for my entire life, for someone to see me and care for me enough to protect me, has surprisingly been shared … by Gray Adler.

How the hell is this happening?

It’s a mind fuck, a case of mental vertigo. The man who I’ve sparred with, fought against, and loathed is offering me shelter. It’s a dizzying realization, one that makes both no sense and all the sense in the world.

But the more I think about it, and the longer I stand in front of Gray with my truth bared for him to see, I’m not panicked. I’m at ease . The bubble of loneliness, my constant shadow, deflates and my lungs fill to their full capacity.

This has never happened before, and it may never happen again. And I have a feeling he understands what it’s like to have your trust broken. Even if I don’t know by whom.

If I’m going out on limbs tonight and taking big risks, I might as well go all the way.

“Will you do me a favor, Gray?”

“Anything.”

This has to be the most complicated, overthought moment before sex that has ever existed. Who talks this much when on a bed of a truck with someone like Gray Adler?

Me. That’s who. And it’s exactly why I can’t have any fun in my life.

I gather my courage along with the deepest breath. “Just for one night, I want to know what it feels like not to be in control.”

His pupils dilate, and his eyes widen in surprise.

“Take control,” I plead. “Please .”

I barely get the words out of my mouth before his lips crash against mine. I gasp, frozen in shock, before giving way to the sensation of being enveloped in his strong arms. I’m pulled so tightly against him that I can barely breathe, or think, or do anything other than kiss him back.

He wraps my hair around his fist and tugs my head to the side. I whimper as he kisses the corner of my mouth, then along my jaw before dragging his mouth down my neck.

“Look at that,” I say, as he draws his tongue over the top of my shoulder, leaving me quivering against his chest. “You can follow orders after all.”

He nips my earlobe, making me squeal, before releasing his hand from my hair. Our gazes collide, brown against green, as we pull apart, panting. Anticipating. Needing.

There’s a hint of a smile in the curve of his lips. “Let’s see if you can.”

Oh. Shit.

Heat blossoms in my belly at the intense deliciousness of his gaze. It slides down my body, grazing my skin through my clothes and nearly setting them on fire. The weight of his attention is so heavy that it leaves me scattered and breathless.

“Arms up.”

It’s not a request. It’s an order .

A breeze kicks up as my hands inch toward the dark sky. Gray licks his lips and reaches for the hem of his shirt. I gasp as his fingertips dust across my stomach and up my sides as he draws the fabric up and off me.

He balls it in his hand and then tosses it deeper into the truck bed. His eyes never leave me.

“You have no clue how gorgeous you are, do you?” he asks, as if he can’t quite believe it himself.

“I know that I lost my shirt and you’re still wearing yours.”

He grins. “You’ve seen me shirtless before.”

“Yeah, but I hated you then.”

His laughter makes me smile, too.

“Turn around,” he says.

“But your shirt— ah .”

He captures my words with his mouth, his lips commanding mine to open. His tongue slides past them with authority. There’s no rush, no urgency … like we have all night.

“There,” he whispers as he pulls away, nipping my bottom lip in the process. “I finally figured out how to shut you up.”

I yelp, touching the center of my mouth.

“Let’s remember something,” he says, taking a step back. “ I’m in control .”

“Okay, I did say that. But?—”

“No buts. Now turn around.”

I shiver against the wind as I turn my back to Gray. His reflection in the back glass of the truck grows closer to me. Still, I’m not ready for the feeling of his hands against my bare skin, gathering my hair and laying it over my right shoulder.

“Relax, sweetheart,” he whispers against the shell of my ear.

He works the snaps of my bra deftly and lets it fall forward. I catch it at my chest, pressing it against my thundering heart. I’m aware of every breath, every groan of the truck, every flicker of the stars. It’s all too much yet not enough.

Gray moves away from me, pulling my bra from my hands. “Let me see you.”

My nipples are hard against the cooling temperature. I cup my breasts in my hands, pulling them up and toward my sternum. They’re full and heavy in my palms as I pivot to face him.

“Drop your hands,” he says.

I look up at him through my lashes while my arms drop to my sides.

His tongue swipes along his bottom lip. “You’re un- fucking -believable.”

“And you still have your shirt on.”

He grins. “Shoes off.”

I comply, willing to do whatever it takes to speed this along. The ache in my core is overwhelming, and my panties are soaked. I need him inside me like I need my next breath, and this joker seems to think we have all the time in the world.

“Good girl,” he says, teasing me. “Now let’s work on getting you out of these jeans.”

“Yes. Let’s.”

He chuckles, reaching for my button and zipper. “I have to figure out a way to keep you this cooperative.”

“Well, depending on how tonight goes, I might be able to give you some tips by morning.”

“Pretty sure I’ll have it worked out shortly.” Gray kneels in front of me, hooking his fingers in my waistband. Slowly, he drags the denim down my legs. “I could come in my pants from this.”

“Don’t you dare,” I say, stepping out of my jeans. “If you come without shoving your cock in me, I’ll spread vicious lies about you to your teammates.”

He laughs, tossing them to the side. Then he rocks back on his heels.

“And your shirt is still on,” I say, sighing with all the dramatics that I can muster. I scoot my panties to my feet and then kick them at Gray’s face. “There. I helped again.”

He catches the lace in the same motion as he sits on the side rail of his truck. “Get over here.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I could get used to this,” he says, holding my boobs in his hands. “You have the nicest tits I’ve ever seen.”

“Aren’t you just a gentleman?”

He shakes his head at me, his eyes hooding, as he sucks a nipple into his mouth.

Finally. Motherfucking fireworks.

My back arches, shoving my chest closer to him.

One of his hands massages one breast, while his hot, wet mouth lavishes attention on the other. I straddle his knee, heat pouring from my pussy as my juices coat my inner thighs. I need friction. I need relief. But all I can do is tip my head back and moan into the night.

“Do you like that?” he asks, moving his mouth to the other side.

The breeze picks up again, the cool air dancing across my naked body, my hair billowing around me with each gust. The chill touches me in places that have never been exposed to the elements, and somehow, I love it .

No one’s around. There are no houses, no security lights, no cameras. But the possibility of it, the idea that I’m completely naked in the bed of a truck with a man sucking my tits—and readying to do a whole lot more—is exhilarating. Thrilling. Addictive .

Gray slides a hand down my stomach and slips it between my legs.

I widen my stance, tipping my head back and moaning again.

He rubs my clit in slow, sensuous circles. “I fucking love how wet you are,” he says, his voice husky. “This is such a turn-on.”

“I concur. Now make me come.”

He lowers both hands, denying me.

My eyes fly open. “What are you doing?”

“You aren’t coming yet.” He moves me back gently before he stands. A wicked smile graces his lips. “We just got started.”