Page 73 of Play for Power (Central Sparks #3)

“Surprise! We wanted to give you the birthday dinner 2.0 so we could celebrate for real. I have pasta on the stove?—”

“Her pesto one!” Addison says with wide, happy eyes, and I chuckle.

“Tell me you have wine,” I complain as I trudge my way on heavy legs to the couch.

“Do you know us at all?” Addison teases as she lifts two bottles and begins to pour them into glasses.

We settle onto the couch, almost exactly like how it used to be when we all lived together, and I waste no time shoveling in a mouthful of pasta.

“So—”

“I knew this was coming,” I mumble over my mouthful.

“You can’t blame us for being curious. You had a freaking meltdown and then called for Caleb!” Addy deadpans and I grunt in agreement. I’d be curious too.

So, I tell them everything I told Jessie.

About my situationship with Caleb being held against me like I was some hoe fucking for a job, and I feel strangely validated at the matching frowns on Casey and Addison’s faces.

I reassure Casey about Jessie’s book and that he already knows, and I give them a very brief overview of what went down in Chris’s office and how I am currently unemployed but coming up with a solid plan.

And then I dive into the information I know they have been dying for.

“We’ve been seeing each other. Like here and there for a bit.” I shrug and heap more pasta into my mouth.

“What is ‘a bit’?” Casey queries with a smirk. I keep pushing the pasta around my bowl as I do the mental math in my head.

“Four months,” I mumble.

“Four months!?” Addison screeches, sitting up, and I squeeze my eyes shut, letting my head fall to the couch.

“I know! Okay, I know, I’m sorry. I just…if things didn’t work out or, like, you know, when it’s over, I didn’t want it to be weird. I wanted to keep it a secret.”

“You suck.” Addison pokes her tongue at me and I poke mine back at her while Casey rolls her eyes.

“Okay, you two.” She looks at me then. “Well, if you wanted to keep it a secret, what changed?”

I don’t really know how to answer that. I was falling apart and somehow he became someone who provided a level of peace and comfort when no one else did.

And in that moment, when everything felt like it was slipping through my fingers, he was the only person I wanted to hold me together.

But of course I don’t say any of that. I just roll my shoulders and avoid eye contact.

“I don’t know, it just did. He’s not as dense as he makes everyone believe he is. He’s been…good company, and he’s easy to talk to. We have a lot of fun.” I sigh, putting my bowl down, not really feeling the pasta right now and feeling hella vulnerable.

“I remember what you were telling me about ‘hot idiot.’ It sounds like you really like him, Rosie,” Addy says gently.

“I’m also going to ignore that I had to find out about ‘hot idiot’ through Addison, after your meltdown, even though I knew you’d slept with him after Noah’s birthday.” Casey glows with a cheeky smile, my face falling into my hands, covering a groan.

“You WHAT?” I can hear Addison put her bowl on the table as she shifts on the couch, and I split my fingers to peek at her shocked face. “Tell me everything!”

“There isn’t much to tell. We slept together…the night of Noah’s party. The surprise one you guys threw.”

Addison, the drama queen, gasps. “That was a year ago!”

“I know! I’m sorry. It didn’t all happen, he was a fucking pest for about eight months before I decided to give in. He was just?—”

“Earth-shattering, show-stopping, saw through space and time, body left your soul—let’s see, what else…” Casey, that traitor, ticks the items off her fingers like a goddamn shopping list. “Something about coming back to life as a goddess. Said it ruined sex?—”

“Okay, we get it.” I grumble at her, crossing my arms over my chest as she chuckles, Addy staring at both of us with her mouth agape before it turns into a smile.

“Ruined sex?! You mean you didn’t have sex with anyone else after…for a whole fucking year? Who are you and what have you done with Rosie?” She chuckles as I throw a pillow at her.

“No, I did sleep with other people…or at least I tried. It just wasn’t…as good. Caleb…”

“You guys had a spark,” Casey provides, unhelpfully, when I don’t finish my sentence.

“I don’t know. It was just really great.” I sigh, thinking back to that first time…and, well, every other time after.

“Okay, serious question,” Casey starts, clearing her throat, her face suddenly serious, and I raise a brow at her.

Then her hands move, lifted in front of her and moving outward with a curious look on her face.

“You’re the worst.” I can’t help but laugh, because it wasn’t all that long ago I was pestering her about the same thing, and despite me shaking my head at her, she keeps going.

“Okay, this is impossible. I’m starting again…say when.” She focuses hard on her hands. Addison and I snicker, but I decide to play. When the gap between her hands starts to resemble the length of sex pest’s magic penis, I raise a hand. “When.”

“Nice. I’m so happy for you,” Casey says as she breaks into a chuckle.

“Impressive,” Addison agrees. “I can’t wait to tease Noah about this.”

“Why, Caleb’s bigger?” I beam a menacing smile at Addison, but then her lips spread in a slow, satisfied smile, making direct eye contact, her head shaking ever so slightly in a no.

I open my mouth to unload a myriad of questions, but she chuckles and raises her hand.

“Back to you?—”

“Whyyy,” I complain, throwing my head back to the couch. “I preferred when it was about you guys.” They snicker. Those bitches.

“Look, I don’t want to freak you out with love talks, maybe it’s not that yet?—”

“It’s not love,” I interrupt, sternly making sure that point is very, very clear.

“Okay, fine. But would it really be so bad for you to at least consider something serious? Like, with the labels. It’s not like you’re committing to forever right away.

If Caleb cares about you, which, from what we saw, he does—very much.

” Casey provides an unhelpful “Mm-hmm” in agreement with Addison’s ever-so-astute observations.

“If he makes you as happy as you say he does, and he’s already treating you better than any man in your life, what could possibly be the issue with at least seeing where it goes?

” I appreciate her gentle tone, a lot more gentle than I’ve ever been with them about boys, but I just bite my lip and look at my lap.

Because they don’t know. They don’t know why it won’t work, why I can’t be with Caleb, at least not in the way he wants us to be.

They don’t know that I’m a horrible friend who keeps life-changing secrets and doesn’t deserve either of them.

But I don’t even know how to begin to explain any of it.

Every time I think about the conversation, it makes my stomach turn.

Because they won’t understand. And then once I tell them, I’d have to tell Caleb, and the thought of doing that…

I squeeze my eyes closed as a wave of nausea rolls through me.

I’ve screwed everything up and I’m the only one who knows it.

I give them a placating smile and slightly toss my head, as if I could dislodge the fear and pain as it claws at me. “Can we do something else, I need a real distraction.”

They share a look, but then Casey, our always shining ray of sun, curls her lips into a smile. “Cake time!”