Page 18 of Play for Power (Central Sparks #3)
“I did not.” I cover my mouth and chuckle, the warmth and delicate buzz from the wine coats my skin.
My cheeks hurt from smiling, my stomach hurts from laughing, and for the first time in a while, everything feels lighter.
Like the rest of the world doesn’t exist and the night will just go on forever. It feels strangely a lot like peace.
“You had to have. This is ridiculous.” I crawl across the floor to a grumbling Caleb as I still try to stop the laugh tumbling out of me, another peg in hand, and slip it to Caleb’s collar.
“Who came up with this rule anyway?” The pissy look on his face is priceless, adorned by four pegs pinned to his shirt.
The loser has to wear a peg, which is a lot more humiliating when you’re playing in a room full of people, but I couldn’t resist the urge.
“Stop pouting, we know you love being pegged.”
His sour look turns to a stunned sneer. “Jesus!” He rears back, pulling the pegs from his collar. The reaction alone has me falling to my back in a laugh, the mirth coats me and tears prick my eyes.
“So…fragile,” I say between breaths as I lie on the floor in a fit of laughter. When I manage to peel my eyes open, Caleb’s hand is placed beside my head and he leers over me, a devious gleam to his eyes as he smiles.
“I’ll have you know, I am not a kink shamer. But pegging? Hard pass.”
“You don’t like ass play?” I say through a giggle, fighting the urge to bite my lip and failing.
“Oh, do not mistake me, Rosebud.” He uses a delicate finger to swipe a piece of hair from my forehead, his eyes tracking the movement, and a breath gets stuck in my throat, the touch sobering me slightly.
“I’m an ass guy through and through. Just not mine.
” That was hot but also weird, and I’m starting to get real confused with our whole dynamic here. Is it flirty or platonic?
I clear my throat and sit up, putting some much-needed distance between us. I can’t help but avoid his intense observation as I take a gulp of my wine.
“Learned a lot about you tonight,” he muses. “Seems we have more in common than I realized.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” He pulls his legs up, resting his arms on his knees.
“You have no maternal connection. Neither do I.” He managed to get out of me that I am not close with my mother.
He doesn’t know the extent, but after the piece of him that he offered up, it felt like I should even the playing field.
“You have an intense work ethic and worked hard for where you are…despite Daddy’s money.
” He winks at me after that last bit, but I remain quiet, choosing silence over sarcasm—for now.
However, I’m a little thankful that he allowed me the credit of my career.
Because sure, my dad could make a single call and I’d have whatever job I wanted, but he’s remained distant from my life at my request, and I have never used my name to leverage anything.
I’d rather die than get by on clout alone.
Everything I have, I earned…well, except for my black card and my closet.
That is all Dad. Sue me for wanting nice shoes to strut in when I show the publishing world who’s bitch they are.
“Mommy issues and a work ethic? Aren’t we just two peas in a pod.” I giggle and the games all seem to be forgotten as he allows himself to slide closer to me.
“Commitment is a no.” I dip my head in agreement as he continues, “Love is for pussies.”
“Love doesn’t exist,” I counter, and he smirks.
“So, what’s the problem?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, for the sake of sounding like a broken record, I want to fuck you.” This again.
“Ugh, man, I was just starting to enjoy your company.” I go to push up from the ground to put some space between us, but as I stand, he rises to his knees and grips my wrist to pull me to him. I tumble and land in his lap. “What are you doing?” I grumble.
“Stop. Just stop for a second.” He almost sounds mad.
“I respect your rule to not repeat. Losers get attached, and it’s too much energy and drama to have to let them down all the time.
But we just established we’re both incapable of forming feelings for the other.
So, if feelings aren’t a risk, and our chemistry is hot enough to light a city on fire, what’s stopping you? ” Goddamnit, that is a good question.
His grip on my wrist moves to my waist, and for whatever god-awful reason, my body lets him readjust me so I’m straddling him.
His grip moves from my hips to my waist, up my back and down again, my breath slowly increasing to a pant.
One hand leaves my lower back to delicately comb through my hair, gripping my curls at the base of my neck where he pulls, and I gasp.
He takes liberty on the moment of control I give over, angling my head so his lips hover just above mine.
Those deep blue, almost-purple eyes are lust filled and hooded.
“You know I can give you everything you need, without the strings. So why won’t you let me?”
I raise my palms to his chest and push firmly so his back hits the floor, giving a slight rotation of my hips, a smile forming across my lips.
“Don’t go getting big and important in your head, hotshot,” I tease and let the words I want to say tumble around in my head, testing them, fighting over their bitterness and the unusual way they feel so right in this moment. Am I doing this? Am I really about to break one of my rules…for… him?
I search his eyes, there is so much sex-filled desire in them but also something else, something I cannot for the life of me pin down, and damn him to hell, I want to know how depraved and deranged I can have him.
Fine.
I concede.
“If we do this,” I whisper, “it stays between us.” A saccharine smile spreads slowly across his face. “All those wretched feelings and emotions stay at the door. You’re little more than a sex toy, and I yours. We are not exclusive. We are not besties, and we owe each other nothing, got it?”
“Jesus Christ, yes ,” he breathes, and I can feel him hardening under my lap, causing need to pool between my legs. “Use me. Play with me. But don’t fall in love with me,” I whisper.
“Deal.”
It’s too easy, I can feel the control slipping…my heart races, the blood rushing through me, and a heaviness forms deep in my stomach.
“Good.” I almost growl as I slam my lips on his and his hands grip my face, immediately deepening the kiss.
As though I weigh nothing, he stands and my legs wrap around his waist as he takes a few quick strides to the nearest wall and slams my back against it, his tongue dancing with mine in a kiss that is desperate and intense.
His taste is bitter from his beer and sweet from the dessert, the perfect mix that brings me enough clarity, I push him off me and jump down.
“Glad we’re on the same page.” I pat his chest and turn for the kitchen, fighting against my inner woman who just wants to shed clothes and have her way.
“What…” he pants, trying to catch his breath, following behind me. “What are you doing?” He crowds me, his warmth at my back as I stand at the counter. I can feel him close enough that if I let myself seek him out, I’d simply fall against him and he’d be there.
“I’m getting ready for bed, what are you doing?” I turn and smile innocently up at him. Power, I need to remain in power, I can’t give up control.
“Guess I am too.” His sly smirk has me laughing.
“Oh…pest, not tonight.” I give a faux yawn, patting him on the chest again, feeling the reverberations of his rapid heartbeat under his shirt. “I’m beat. Another time though. I’ll text you.”
“Wait a minute,” he whispers as I turn and head for my room, still needing to put distance between us that he keeps trying to close. “You just said?—”
“I know, and I meant it. But I’ll be the one to tell you when and where.
” I let my perusal linger on his lips before meeting his eyes with a deliberate smile.
“Night, hotshot. You can see yourself out.” When I make it back to my room, he stands at the end of the hallway, staring right through me like I’m prey caught in his trap.
“So, what? I’m just your dirty little secret now?” His voice has dropped to a dangerous octave that sends shivers across my whole body.
“Glad you can keep up.” I close the door on him. After a few tense minutes I hear the front door to the apartment close, and I quickly dart out to lock it before returning to my room, closing the door, and collapsing against it.
My fingers reach up to trail across my lips, remembering the searing heat of his on mine.
The way he kisses is so different to any other kiss I’ve had and I can’t work out why.
The way my body hums with desperation for him is borderline pathetic, and God am I glad I kicked him out.
Now I have to work out how to have casual sex on the regular…
with the same guy…while keeping everything real about me hidden.
All the dark and yucky parts that make people run and hide.
Why do I care what he thinks? I don’t, obviously. I don’t care.
Right?