Page 35 of Play Dirty (Villalargos University #1)
Stepping into the night air, her ponytail dances with each step.
My hands clench with the need to wrap it around my hand and pull her towards me.
I hate the distance; it’s worse now that I got to taste her again.
I fed my addiction, and now I'm afraid I've become a lost cause.
I stop by my bike, holding out my helmet.
“Let me show you the part worth seeing.”
She hesitates for a second before taking my helmet. I smile when she places it over her head. Climbing onto the R1, I pat the seat behind me. “You know how to ride?”
Shiloh drops the helmet over her head fully and climbs on like a pro.
I press the throttle and kick off the bike, weaving into the dark streets of Bajo Bay.
Where the stars don’t shine, except in one place, closer to the waves, away from the filth and the rocky mess that consoles me during my darkest days.
I bring her to the purest part of me, holding the door open and expecting nothing but an ear to listen.
We get th ere in no time, her hands still wrapped tightly around me.
She gasps, taking in the dark waves as they splash against the rocky shore.
“It’s beautiful.” She mutters, removing the helmet.
I park the bike, feeling her climb off. I watch as she moves forward, closing her eyes and inhaling the night air.
When you’re close at night, when the water is high, you can feel the droplets make contact with your skin.
I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, pulling it out, I look down at the message. A picture of June fills the screen, naked and covering her face.
Anonymous
Not as innocent as you might think. Can you trust the person who lied the most?
What the fuck does that mean?
I look down at the phone, confused, debating if I should tell Shiloh, but then I stop myself. The need to protect her stifles the words in my throat. I pocket my phone, climbing off the bike. “I used to come here when I needed to think, and after Fernanda, this became a second home.”
“Did she die?” She asks quietly, her eyes still focused on the water.
“She did.”
“How?”
“I don’t know.”
She turns to look at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, the moon reflecting the light of her pale skin. “Do you miss her?”
The question is double-edged. Did I miss my sister, or do I miss June? “I do.”
She smiles, content with my answer, as a single tear runs down her cheek and over her lip. “I miss her so much and being close to you,” She inhales deeply. “And wanting you feels like a punishment more than a reward.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
I take a deep breath in and look into the horizon and not her eyes. Not the hurt that those icy orbs reflect. “I was going to end things with her after we returned to campus. I carry that guilt, just like I carry the shame of what I feel for you.”
She lets out a shaky breath beside me, our fingers gently brushing against each other. “I told you that you shouldn’t trust me, and I meant it. There’s so much that you don’t know, and I will probably never tell.”
“Like–” she begins, but the words die in her throat, only allowing a small sniffle to come out of her. I know what she’s going to ask, and I don't put her through the pain of asking me flat out about what happens with Mr. J.
“Yes, like that. I’m broken, Shiloh. Everything in me is fucked.
I can’t give you anything good. Just this feeling that eats me alive every time I see you.
Obsession. That’s all it is. One look… that’s all it took for you to flip everything inside me.
Fuck.” I run a hand down my face before moving down my chest. “Pushing you away that night after the hunt was the best thing I could have done for you. A mercy.”
She scoffs as her body turns towards me. “Do you see him? When you look at me?”
“Yes.” She flinches as if my words punched her.
“Nico, oh god.” She sobs into her hands.
I wrap my arms around her, holding her. I console her as she breaks down in my arms. Shiloh isn’t as strong as I am emotionally, but it’s okay because I bear the weight for both of us. I run my hand down her back.
“Fuck, Shi…. I don’t want to make you cry. I think… fuck. I think I’ve been in love with you this whole time. And I hated myself for it. For being we ak, for not being enough. For being broken.” My eyes blur as I pull away, cupping her wet hand in my face.
“I’m sorry about June. I’m sorry that I was a coward.
I’m sorry about your—” My words are cut short by the soft press of her lips.
Saltiness and Shiloh mingle in my taste buds as my lips open to allow her in.
She fists my shirt, her tongue softly brushing against mine.
My body relaxes into hers. The sound of the ocean plays the perfect melody, making me feel like I’m floating.
She pulls away slightly to allow us to breathe, and we pant into each other’s mouths.
The sound is ragged and desperate. “Stop being sorry, Nico. And start looking at me.” She kisses me softly, her voice quivering. “Not him.”
Each brush of her tongue against mine tells me everything that’s left unsaid between us. I’m sorry. I’m in love with you. I’m scared.