Page 16

Stevie

The weirdest feeling washes over me. It’s an unfamiliar combination of contentment, comfort, and…arousal? I’ve never felt this safe with a man, or this relaxed. He demands nothing, he isn’t judgmental, and he’s protective in a gentle, loving way. We’re not dating—not really—and I’ve been clear that sex isn’t an option, yet he’s still here. In my bed, listening to me talk about my lunatic of an ex and the lingering effects of what he did to me.

Part of me never wants to move from the warmth and safety of his arms—the rest of me wants to jump his bones in a way I haven’t wanted a man in a long time. Maybe never.

“Marty, I…” I tip my head up and bump it on the bottom of his jaw.

He looks down and our faces are almost touching, his lips so close I can feel his breath. I lean forward, pressing my lips to his.

I need this.

I need to feel alive again—to remember that I’m still a flesh-and-blood woman with wants and needs and…a healthy libido.

Our kiss is chaste at first, a gentle, unhurried coupling of lips. His mouth remains closed as we explore, light kisses and nibbles, our noses brushing together at the same time.

“Stevie.”

“Hmm?” My eyes find his.

“Not like this.”

I freeze, mortified.

“I thought…” I start to pull away, but he stops me.

“I want you,” he whispers. “More than I’ve wanted anyone in a long time—but I don’t want us to make love when you’re feeling scared and vulnerable. If you still want me tomorrow, hell, even tonight, I’m all in. But not when you’re dealing with all the emotions of retelling the story of what happened.”

I’m torn, because I know he’s right, but I’m also disappointed.

Frustrated.

A little embarrassed.

“Don’t,” he says, his eyes never leaving mine. “Whatever bad thing you’re thinking, that’s not what this is. This is me being a gentleman, not taking advantage of a woman who’s vulnerable.”

I’m not sure what to say, so I don’t say anything at all.

Instead, I drop my head to his chest and focus on the steady beat of his heart.

I know he’s right.

I know he’s being a gentleman.

I appreciate it. And him.

But I can’t remember a man ever turning me down before.

“Stevie.” His voice is a rumble when he says my name. “Look at me, baby.”

I slowly lift my head.

“It’s almost noon so we were going to get up anyway. Come home with me. Spend the day with me and my family.”

“What?” I blink because I’m not sure I understand.

“I want you to meet my mom, and the kids already love you. It’ll be a low-key day, just hanging out, probably by the pool. My mom is planning to make beef stroganoff. Spend the day with me. With us.”

I should say no.

The feelings of vulnerability have started to pass and I’m still hovering somewhere between embarrassment and resignation.

But he wants to spend the day with me, wants me to meet his mom.

He doesn’t need help with his kids since he has his mom, so there’s only one reason he wants those things.

I could sit here and think about all the reasons why it’ll never work, or I can dip my toe back in the dating waters with a sweet, thoughtful man who seems to genuinely put me first. Which has never happened before.

And there’s no way for me to say no to that.

Overthinking things will get me nowhere, and the simple truth is—I like him. More than I want to admit.

“Okay,” I whisper. “I need to take a quick shower and have some coffee first, though.”

“How about you get in the shower and I’ll run to that coffee shop up the street and bring us back coffee and breakfast?”

I smile. There he goes being thoughtful again. “That sounds perfect.”

I tell him what I want, and he drops a quick kiss on the tip of my nose before he slides out of bed and starts getting dressed.

I’m almost to the bathroom when he calls to me.

“Hey, Stevie?”

I glance over my shoulder.

“Don’t for a single second doubt that turning you down just now was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

I stare at him for a second, a tiny sliver of insecurity creeping in. “You’re not…mad?”

“That you wanted to make love with me? God, baby, no.” He comes over to me and pulls me close. “I just want it to be right, both physically and emotionally. It’ll be the first time for both of us since our mutual relationship disasters—let’s make sure it’s on our terms.”

“You haven’t been with anyone since…” I stare at him in surprise.

“There was a blowjob,” he admits. “But I couldn’t…I don’t know. It just wasn’t right. I didn’t want to fuck her. That’s crude, but it’s honest. I was okay letting her pleasure me, but once it was time to reciprocate, everything fell apart. I felt bad for her, so instead of taking a chance of that happening again, I decided to wait until I was sure.”

“Are you sure…about me?” I whisper.

“Very, very sure.”

* * *

By the time I’m out of the shower and dressed, Marty’s back with lattes and breakfast sandwiches. I’ve packed a bathing suit, sunscreen, a hat, and a towel into a small bag and he takes it as we head out to his SUV.

“You’re going to have to bring me home later,” I tell him.

“I know.” He reaches across the center console for my hand and doesn’t let go the whole way to his house. He’s still holding it when we walk inside and only lets go when Emma throws herself at him as if she hasn’t seen him in months instead of since just last night.

“Daddy, where was you?” she demands when he scoops her up.

“I was watching Stevie film a movie,” he tells her.

Her eyes round. “Is it Cinderella ?” she asks.

I laugh. “No, it’s a grown-up movie.”

She wrinkles her nose. “I don’t like grown-up movies.”

“I know. I don’t either.”

“Daddy!” Martin comes in wearing little blue swim trunks and neon-green arm floaties around his biceps. “Are we going swimming?”

“Give me two minutes to say hi to Grandma and put on my bathing suit,” he replies.

“Hello.” A beautiful woman, probably in her fifties, comes into the kitchen. “I’m Patty, Marty’s mom.”

“It’s so nice to meet you,” I say. “I’m Stevie.”

“You’re just as beautiful in person as you are in pictures,” Patty says.

“Thank you.”

“I always imagined supermodels were just regular women with good bone structure so they could photoshop everything—but that is not the case with you.”

I flush. “That’s very sweet. I appreciate it.”

“You two must have had a long night,” she says. “Are you hungry?”

“We got breakfast on the way,” Marty tells her. “I’m going to go change. But I’ll be down in five.”

“Tell me about your video,” Patty says as she pours milk into a sippy cup for Emma.

“It was for a rapper named Li’l Barracuda. He was nice, everyone was professional, and it wasn’t hard, but it was long. A lot of takes, a lot of waiting between shots. We didn’t get done until six.”

Patty grimaces. “That’s a long night.”

“But it’s done now. And I’m grateful to be back in the thick of things. I put my career on hold for a while after my injury last year.”

Patty meets my gaze. “I read about it. Are you okay?”

“Physically, yes. Emotionally—I’m getting there.”

“Marty’s been through a tough time with Brenna,” Patty says quietly. “If anyone understands relationship trauma, it’s him.”

“He’s been wonderful,” I admit. “I didn’t think I was ready to start dating, but Marty isn’t like other guys.”

“He’s not,” his mother agrees. “I may be biased, but Brenna didn’t deserve him. I never liked her. I tolerated her because Marty loved her, and I hoped she would grow into the woman he deserved, but she never did. My only regret in this divorce is the children. This has been so hard on them.”

“They seem happy,” I say, gazing over to where Martin is helping Emma put on her water shoes.

“They’re good kids, and Marty’s a great dad. That’s why he wants custody. I just don’t know how he’ll manage. I’m not retired yet, so moving to L.A. would be difficult for me. Otherwise, I’d come here in a heartbeat to help out.”

“What do you do?” I ask politely.

“I’m a professor. I teach humanities at a local college back home.”

“Would it be hard for you to get a job here?”

“I don’t know. I’m thinking about it, but if Marty doesn’t get custody…” She sighs. “Anyway, welcome to our home. I hope the kids don’t wear you out today.”

I laugh. “I’ll be fine. Emma and I are buddies, right, Emma?”

“Hi, Auntie Stevie!” Emma waves happily.

“If you’d like to change, the guest bathroom is over there.” Patty points.

“Thank you.”

I change into my bathing suit and slather myself with sunscreen.

I’m looking forward to spending the day with Marty—and his family. I already love the kids and his mom seems nice.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a family, which is one of the many reasons I’ve always desperately wanted to get married. And have a family of my own. I’ll never have the children I’ve always wanted, but maybe there’s a guy out there like Marty, who already has all the children he’s going to have. And who wouldn’t mind me being their stepmom.

“Hey.” Marty’s coming down the stairs as I step out of the bathroom.

“Hi.”

“You ready for the chaos?”

“Absolutely.”

He pauses and then brushes his lips across mine. “I’m glad you said yes,” he whispers.

“Said yes?” I ask in confusion.

“To spending the day with my family. I know it’s a lot.”

“I love family,” I say honestly. “And your kids are great. Why would I have said no?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I guess I feel like I’m damaged goods, you know? The divorce, three kids…I’m a lot.”

I can’t help but laugh. “You think you’re damaged goods? Hello, have you not been there for my nightmares and panic attacks?”

Something shifts between us in that moment, like an emotional dam opening, and the look in his eyes makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“There is nothing damaged about you,” he whispers. “You are perfect in every way, Stevie.”