Page 32 of Pieces of Ash

“Don’t ask, don’t tell,” says Gus, squeezing my shoulder. “Good luck getting anything out of him. I ask him for stories, and he tells me to mind my business.”

Jock grunts softly. “They aren’t the best memories.”

“Poor P.C.,” says Gus, clucking his tongue. “A fairy in fatigues.” His voice is tender when he adds, “You’re with me now, honey. For life.”

Jock catches Gus’s eyes in the mirror again, and again I feel the intensely loving bond between these two men. “Thank God for that.”

“Lil’ Ash,” says Gus, turning to me. “What happened to you? Why you here, baby?”

My stomach knots uncomfortably, and I burrow closer to Gus, biting hard on my lower lip.Your body is mine! Your virginity is mine! Your pussy is mine! Your womb is mine, and I will pump it full of cum and fill it with son after son until you have built me a beautiful fucking empire, do you hear me?

“Mosier,” I murmur on a release of held breath. “He…he had plans for me.”

“What kind of plans?” asks Jock.

“He…” I sob. The words are so filthy, so unthinkable, I can’t bear to repeat them. “I can’t, Gus.”

“Don’t grill her, P.C.,” admonishes Gus. “She’s not one of your grunts.” He hugs me tight. “He wanted, uh,thingsfrom you, baby doll?”

“Mm-hm.”

“He…made a move on you?”

“Mm-hm.”

Jock growls softly from the front seat. “Did he force himself?—”

“Sweet man, I’ma have to flog you later if you can’t zip it now,” warns Gus. He turns back to me. “You okay, Ash? Your body hurtin’?”

“N-no,” I manage to whisper. “It didn’t get that far. I…I puked on him.”

“You…you…ha!” Gus chortles. “You puked on the man? Ha! Oh, lil’ Ash, I wish I’d been there to see that!”

“No, you don’t,” I sob, my words suddenly rushing from my lips. “He was furious. He said terrible things. He…Gus, he said he only married Tig for me. He wanted to…to mold me into…I don’t know…some perfect child wife. He…he…he said I was g-going to h-have his s-sons and…and…and…”

My sobs are choking me now, and I let them free, crying in terrible gulps and snorts as I think of my dead mother, my callous grandparents, and my terrifying stepfather. How could she have done this to me? How could Tig have married that man, knowing the life he planned for me? Did she hate me so much? Did she resent me that much? That she would consign me to a life of debauched slavery to a man thirty years my senior withouta kind bone in his body? My god, what did I do to deserve that future?

“Howcouldshe?” I wail, my shoulders shaking, my body aching, my heart a pulverized thing, shredded and dying within my chest.

“How could…?” Gus pauses, turning to me, his eyes wide and horrified. “Oh, no. No. Are you…Ash, honey, you thinkTigdid this?”

I take a ragged breath. “He said that it was his p-plan all along. From the m-moment he first saw us. He m-marriedherforme.”

“And you think sheknew?”

I don’t know. I don’t know, and that’s what’s killing me.

I shrug, feeling pitiful.

“Oh, li’l Ash…No.” Gus’s voice is kind, but firm. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Shehatedme, Gus,” I manage to whimper.

“Oh, honey. No,” says Gus, rubbing my back as I tuck my head under his chin. “No. Tig was a lot of things, but she was no pimp. And believe me, baby, she didn’t hate a hair on your head. I promise you that. Your mama—oh, Tig. She was…lost. A lost soul. But this? No, baby. She wouldn’t do this to you.”

“Gigi,” says Jock softly, “I’m going to bring Ashley’s bags inside. She can stay here tonight.”

Tonight? Only tonight?Panic grips me. “Do I…need to…leavetomorrow?”