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Chapter nineteen

Daphne

“I’m pregnant.”

Finn’s face drops and simultaneously lifts in surprise, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. “I’m sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “Say that again.”

“I’m pregnant,” I repeat, the words scraping against my throat. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to saying that. My stomach churns and threatens to revolt, but I force it down. I’ve had enough of that this week.

“Daph…” He drags a hand through his hair. “What the hell?”

A groan builds in the back of my throat, but I don’t let it out. “I know, okay, believe me, everything you’re thinking, I’ve thought and berated myself about already for the last few days.”

Finn starts pacing, something he’s always done when he’s anxious, I’m more of a meltdown type of anxious person, but not Finn; he walks it off. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”

I nod tentatively. “I’m sorry.”

He sighs. “Does the father know?”

I stop mid-step, my free hand flying up. “Oh, sure, Finn. And what exactly would I say? ‘Hey, remember me? The girl you slept with after the concert? Fun fact: That was the first time I had sex, and surprise, I got pregnant.’ Yeah, that’ll go great.”

Blinking rapidly, his mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. “Hold up, first time? The first time?” He leans closer to the camera. “Are you messing with me right now?”

“Why would I mess with you about this?” I snap, my voice sharper than I mean it to be. My chest is heaving, and I can feel the tears threatening to spill, but I bite the inside of my cheek to distract myself. If I fall apart again, there’s a good chance I’ll stay broken, and I can’t do that. This week has been a mess. If I thought the day I found out hard, I was sorely mistaken, because I’ve hardly been able to rehydrate from crying so much, let alone anything else.

“Shit.” He runs a hand down his face again, in a clear state of disbelief. “Isn’t that one of those horror stories Dad used to tell us so we’d never even think about having sex?”

I roll my eyes so hard they go starry for a second. “Oh, please, like that stopped you from sleeping your way through high school.”

He tilts his head, conceding the point with a faint smirk. “True.”

“Besides,” I add, swallowing hard and looking away, “I can’t exactly tell the father because…” My throat tightens, but I force the words out. “I met him at the Gracie Abrams concert earlier in the fall, and we didn’t swap numbers or anything.”

Finn freezes, staring at the screen. “Your first time was a one-night stand?”

“Yup.” I pop the word like it’s no big deal, but the knot in my chest tells a different story. I hug my free arm around myself, trying to hold it together as the silence stretches.

“Daphne,” he says finally, his tone softer now. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was having fun for once, Finn. I’ve spent so much of my life being the perfect daughter, student, friend, sister. I just wanted one night for me. I didn’t expect this to happen.”

He sighs, his hand dragging down his face again . “Okay, okay. Sorry. I just… Shit. This is a lot.”

“You think I don’t know that?” My voice wavers, and I blink rapidly to stop the tears from falling. “I’m living it, Finn. I tried to tell Dad tonight after his game. I waited right until the school’s social media announced final scores, but I just couldn’t force myself to walk inside his office. So here I am, wandering around campus at night.” My fear of disappointing him in an entirely different way almost chokes me. I thought being the perfect student and standing on my own would be my problem, but no. What if this is the thing he can’t forgive?

He takes a deep breath, nodding slowly. “Alright. We can deal with this. First, you need to see a doctor, like, immediately. Have you done that yet?”

“Tomorrow afternoon,” I say, my voice small. “Liv’s coming with me.”

“Good, okay, that’s good.”

Good doesn’t quite cover how I’m feeling. Anxious, scared, and sick to my stomach covers it better, but I know he didn’t mean everything is good. He’s glad I’m not alone. And honestly, me too.

“Hey, Daph?” Finn’s tone shifts, suddenly sharper now. “How private did you want this conversation to be?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, my nerves peaking.

“There’s some guy standing behind you,” he says, brow pinching. “I’ll get the number for campus security.”

My heart stutters. The phone trembles in my hand as I whirl around to see what he’s seeing. This campus is usually a relatively safe place, but a girl can never be too careful. I dive my free hand into my purse, fingers closing around the can of mace I keep tucked there as I take a shaky step back, my eyes locking onto the shadowy figure a few paces away.

“Don’t come any closer!” I shout, yanking the mace out and holding it up with a trembling hand. My chest heaves, adrenaline coursing through me as I glare at him. “I will spray you!”

The guy freezes, his hands shooting up in surrender. “Whoa, hey! I’m not— Daphne, wait!”

The sound of my name snaps me out of my panic for a second. I squint, the glow of the streetlights finally illuminating his face as he steps forward. My breath catches, confusion slamming into me. “H-Hudson?”

I blink to make sure I’m not seeing things, but yep, that’s definitely him.

His face is pale, but he’s still just as gorgeous as I remember him to be, even in the dim streetlights. He lowers his hands slowly, like he’s afraid of spooking me. “Yeah. It’s me.”

I don’t move, my heart now racing, the mace still clutched in my grip. “What the hell are you doing here? How are you here? Were you following me?”

Hudson shakes his head quickly, his words spilling out in a rush. “I swear, I wasn’t following you. I didn’t even know you were here. I—” He stops, dragging a hand down his face, and takes a step back. “Shit, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Finn’s voice crackles through the phone that’s still in my other hand. “Daph, who the hell is this guy? I’ve got the number ready to call for help.”

I glance down at the phone. “No, it’s okay, hold on.” Then my gaze finds Hudson again when realization hits as the bold CLU letters glare at me from his sweater. “Wait. You’re a student here?”

Hudson hesitates, guilt flickering across his face before he nods. “Yeah. I go here.”

He does? Surely, I would’ve remembered that. But then…we didn’t talk about school.

“Daph?” Finn’s voice snaps me back to the moment once more, and I lift the phone to my face.

“I’ll call you back, Finn. I’m fine, I promise.”

Then I hang up without waiting for him to respond. Dick move, but I’ve just come face to face with a guy I never thought I’d see again.

“Did you transfer here?” I ask, shaking my head in bewilderment. My brain can’t seem to wrap around the fact that we’ve been on the same campus for the last few months.

“No, I’ve always been here.”

How the hell did I not see him? I sit under the oak tree in the quad, people watching almost every day and nothing.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I saw you, and then accidentally heard you talking to Finn and, well…”

“Wait,” I say, stomach plummeting into my ass. “You…heard the whole conversation?”

Hudson shifts his weight, his hands still raised slightly in surrender. “I didn’t mean to. I was just walking, and then…I froze.”

“You froze ?” My voice pitches higher, cutting through the still air. “So you decided to just stand there and listen to a completely private conversation?”

“No, I—” He runs a hand through his hair, his face crumpling. “I didn’t know what to do, okay? It’s not like I planned this.”

I stare at him, heart pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears. Heat rises to my cheeks as the weight of what he heard sinks in. He knows. He knows I’m pregnant. He knows about…everything. “Oh my god, I’m going to throw up.”

Running over to the nearest bush, I throw myself forward, my stomach twisting violently as I empty everything I’ve got. The sharp tang of bile stings my throat, and by the time I’m done, I’m weak and trembling, praying the universe will take pity on me and make it rain tonight. Jesus, I need to start carrying sick bags if this doesn’t ease up.

“You okay?” Hudson’s voice is quiet, cautious, like he’s afraid I might fall apart entirely. Been there done that this week, buddy. Got the freaking t-shirt, mug, and non-refundable spawn.

I shake my head, too drained to lie. Pulling a tissue from my purse, I wipe my mouth, then get another tissue for my eyes, which are stinging with tears I don’t even remember crying. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“The puking?”

I nod.

“Daph,” he says with a light laugh. “I’ve seen all the guys on the team puke after one of your dad’s brutal practices. This is nothing.”

I frown, the tissue crumpling in my hand as another realization sinks in. “My…dad’s practices?”

Hudson hesitates and rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah.”

“Wait…you’re on the football team,” I say slowly, looking at his gym bag, which says CLU Wildcats on the side. It’s like the fog lifts. I’m such an idiot. “Of course you are, look at you.”

“Yeah,” he admits, his eyes darting away.

My chest tightens, and the pieces tumble into place too fast for me to catch. “So, did you know I was here this whole time? You know who my dad was, and you know I was on campus? Did you know the night we met?”

Hands going up defensively, he takes a step back. “I didn’t know at first. I swear. I didn’t realize it was you until I saw you at a practice.”

“At a practice,” I echo. “You saw me and just…decided to pretend I didn’t exist?” The thought hits me harder than I’d like, and I feel a tear fall down my cheek.

“It wasn’t like that,” Hudson tries to assure me, his voice rising slightly. “I panicked, okay? That day, your dad reamed out the team for looking at you. If your dad saw me talking to you, he’d want to know why. And then what? I’d have to tell him we met at a concert? That we…” He stops short, the weight of what he’s not saying hanging between us.

“That we slept together?” I finish for him, my voice flat. “Yeah, well, he’s definitely going to be mad now, considering…” I trail off, the meaning behind my words crystal clear, and the remaining color drains from Hudson’s face. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. His gaze flickers to my stomach, then back to my face, his eyes wide and searching.

“Is it true, everything you said to Finn?”

“Yes,” I say simply. There’s no point in sugarcoating it; he heard everything. My fingers tighten around my sleeves as my stomach churns again, not from nausea, but from this situation I’m in.

Hudson exhales sharply. “Shit.”

“That about sums it up,” I mutter, looking anywhere but at him. The air feels too heavy, and I suddenly want to be anywhere but here. “I need to go back to my dorm.”

“Daphne, wait,” he rushes out, taking a step toward me. “Can I… Can I come with you? Just to talk?”

I hesitate, nerves barreling through me as I look up at him. His brow pinches as he holds my gaze, those gold flecks swirling with green drawing me in. I want to say no, to tell him this isn’t his problem. But it is, and deep down, I know I can’t avoid this conversation forever. May as well get it over with now.

“Fine,” I say finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “But just to talk.”

“Just to talk,” Hudson agrees, his voice steady but his eyes still full of uncertainty.

I did not see my night going this way.