Page 16

Chapter fifteen

Hudson

I run my thumb over my favorite heart tape and stare at a blank page, trying to decide what to add next. Across the table, Quinn mutters to herself about layout balance, and Indie’s flipping through a stack of old postcards. Seb, Jay, and Miles are all busy too. I take my phone out and snap a picture of the gang and send it to my sister. Rory loves that I do this club and requires updates on my scrapbook. Since there isn’t any today, I send her the pic of the group instead.

She’ll be mad she can’t see my progress, but I haven’t got any yet because I’m stuck.

I’ve been feeling off since the day I saw Daphne. Everything feels weird lately. The pressure to lead on the field, to make every play perfect, it’s like I can’t keep up. And I can’t go out to release any tension because I’m still not allowed. Besides, seeing Daphne only made my head spin faster.

By some miracle, I haven’t seen her since that day on the field. I was sure she’d show up at a game or practice and I’d be thinking about how to avoid staring at her. You can’t just glance at her; she’s not the type of girl you glance at. No, she’s the one who knocks the wind out of a guy and leaves him drooling. But she didn’t show up once. Maybe she isn’t that close with her dad? I mean, it’s not like I can ask her, or him, for that matter. Imagine that awkward conversation, jeez.

For the last four-ish weeks, I’ve done exactly what Jay suggested. I’ve been an angel—no hooking up, my professors are still pleased with me, my grades are the best they’ve been, and I’ve gotten more praise from Coach than I’m used to. But I’m not myself. I know, because I live for this scrapbook club. I love these guys. But lately, I’ve struggled to make anything.

“You okay, man?” Seb asks. “You’ve hardly argued with Jay at all today. Something’s up.”

With a huff, I put the tape down and sit back into the sofa. “I’m in a funk.”

Quinn is the first to look over at me. “Aww, honey, you want me to help you with your page?”

Managing a small smile, I shake my head. “Thanks, but I think it’s beyond help. My brain’s just…stuck.”

On her.

Jay looks up from his book, unfolding some of my tape, and I don’t even stop him, which is completely unlike me. “Stuck, like, ‘I can’t figure out where to start,’ or stuck, like, ‘the whole thing is trash and I hate it’?”

“Both,” I admit, slumping back into the sofa.

Indie pauses mid-flip through her postcards and raises an eyebrow. “You’re being dramatic. Your pages are always great.”

“Yeah, but it’s like I’ve done all my best ideas already,” I say, gesturing at the blank page. “And now I’m incapable of creating another masterpiece. Everything feels beige.”

“Maybe you’re just thinking too hard. Cut some stuff, glue some stuff, boom, masterpiece,” Jay says, slapping the piece of tape down to his page.

Miles snorts from across the room, not even looking up from his project. “If Hudson’s not arguing or flirting, something’s seriously wrong.”

I flip him off lazily, but there’s no real bite to it.

Quinn scoots closer, tucking her legs beneath her as she leans toward me. “Is it football? Are you stressed about a game or something?”

“No,” I say, shaking my head, at the same time Seb says, “He’s killing it on the field.”

I appreciate that my captain has noticed. It’s a small mercy for giving everything up to focus on winning with our team.

“Football’s fine. Grades are fine. Everything’s fine, technically.”

“But you’re still in a funk,” she says gently, like she’s coaxing a confession out of me.

“Yeah,” I admit as I run a hand through my hair. “I don’t know. I just…feel off.”

“We can hit the gym after if you want? Take your mind off whatever’s bothering you. Get some adrenaline rushing through your veins instead,” Seb offers, but I swear I can’t put in any more hours there or I’ll have to pay rent.

“Thanks, man. I’ll be okay. I just need sleep, probably.” Or maybe her. No, stop. That’s not going to happen.

Despite my friends’ attempts to pull me out of my sour mood, my mind keeps drifting back to her, like a song I can’t stop replaying. I push my scissors and tape aside, leaning forward with a sudden decision. “Okay, I’m done for today. But question…”

All eyes swing to me.

“Hypothetically,” I start, trying to sound casual, “if I wanted to find a student, without alerting any faculty or family members, how would I do that?”

Seb is the first to speak, his mouth quirking into a smirk. “Depends. Are you asking for stalker reasons, or romantic reasons?”

“Stalker reasons, obviously,” I deadpan, which earns a snort from Indie. “No, I just…I lost touch with someone. I want to fix that.”

Quinn tilts her head, considering. “Do you know what they’re studying? You could try the department directory. I’m not sure how easily they give out information, though. You may need to turn on the charm.”

“Hmm,” I say, not sure I can pull that off. I mean, not the charming part, but the actual going to get it and failing. I can’t risk anything in case someone knows I’m looking for her.

Twenty minutes later, and I’m still stewing.

“I’ve got to get to class,” Quinn says, gathering her supplies into her tote. The rest of us chip in, passing her scissors and tape rolls as she packs up. “See you guys soon.”

Miles heads out with her. Seb and Indie start whispering and sneak off. Which just leaves me and Jay.

The room is quieter without the others. Jay scrolls on his phone, but I can feel the weight of his attention even though his eyes stay fixed on the screen.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he says. “About the whole looking for a student thing.”

I scoff, leaning back in my chair. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Jay’s gaze flicks to me, one eyebrow raised. “Really? You’re gonna try that shit with me?”

Dragging a hand down my face, I can’t help but groan. “Fine. I want to find her. Happy now?”

He snorts and shakes his head. “Sometimes, I feel like I have a kid, who is you, by the way. Or maybe an overexcited puppy, one that chews everything it shouldn’t and pees on things. Totally uncontrollable.”

“I don’t pee on things or chew things,” I retort, indignant. “So your analogy sucks.”

He sighs dramatically, dropping his phone on the table before he turns to me, full of that older-brother energy he likes to wield when I’m being, in his words, “difficult.” Which is a huge insult. I’m not difficult, I’m awesome.

“Hudson, I’m going to say this again.” He pins me with a look that could burn through steel. “If you go sniffing around her, you’re gonna end up in hot water. Boiling water. And while you might have had one night with her—”

“One amazing night,” I correct reflexively, then instantly regret it when his glare sharpens.

“Hudson,” he groans, exasperated. “One night. That’s all it’s going to be. So. Let. It. Go.”

“But what if I don’t want to?” The words slip out before I can stop them. I know I shouldn’t argue the point, but I’m stubborn, and I can’t leave it alone. Not now that I know she’s here.

Jay leans back, crossing his arms as he gears up for one of his lectures. “Okay, let’s look at the facts.” He rolls up his sleeves. “You sleep with her again. Maybe it becomes a friends-with-benefits situation because, let’s face it, you’re not looking for anything serious. By some miracle, you keep it from Coach. But then surprise! she catches feelings.”

I open my mouth to argue, but he steamrolls on.

“You, being you, call it off because ‘that’s not what we agreed to.’ She goes crying to her dad, who, let’s not forget, is your head coach, the same guy who told you specifically to stay the hell away from her. Then, bam! ” He claps his hands together with a loud smack that makes me jump. “You’re running drills for the rest of your life. And not just any drills, the evil ones he makes up when he’s in a bad mood.”

I wince, remembering Coach’s face the last time he caught me slacking off in practice. That wasn’t even that personal, and it still felt like he wanted to bury me six feet under. “It wouldn’t be like that,” I say weakly, but even I don’t sound convinced.

Jay leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “Look, man. I get it. She’s hot. She’s funny. She probably said some shit that got under your skin or has some magic over your dick. But you’ve gotta think about the bigger picture. One night isn’t worth tanking your entire career. Not when it’s hardly begun.”

I don’t answer right away, because what can I say? He’s right…on paper. The logical part of me knows it. But every time I tell myself to move on, my mind drifts back to Daphne. To the way she nibbled on her lip, innocent and full of sin. The way she laughed… God, I want to hear it again.

Jay watches me, his expression softening like he knows exactly where my thoughts are. “Look, if this was anyone else, I’d tell you to go for it. Hell, I’d help you track her down. But this is Coach’s daughter . There’s no universe where this ends well.”

Swallowing past a lump in my throat, I nod. “I know, you’re right.”

He slaps my shoulder, but it does little to comfort me. “You’re doing the right thing. And I’m proud of you for changing things in your life to be better. I’m getting a full night’s sleep so far this year because I’m not woken up by you. It’s glorious.”

I laugh, feeling a little lighter. At least one of us is benefitting from something here.