Page 14 of Pick Yourself Up (Heroes to the Core #3)

Something's Up

F or her turn at cooking for the group, Amber put together one of Fox’s favorites. Pork chops, scalloped potatoes, green beans, and a salad. It was a comfort meal, and she hadn’t made it in years.

Probably because she hadn’t had anyone to cook for. Working at the hotels meant she’d had easy access to delicious foods prepared by experts.

Cooking for one was never fun, so she’d relied on the restaurants for almost all her meals.

Her skills were more than a little rusty, but she’d also spent time working in the kitchens with the various chefs.

Learning from the experts was always great.

As manager, she needed to know how every job in the hotel worked.

She’d done laundry, cleaned rooms and windows, chopped onions, and dealt with demanding guests regularly.

This was better. Cooking for family. Sure, it was her turn and therefore her job, but it was for family.

Knox, Thea, Jolie, Ford, and Gray.

She’d love to see Lawson and Burke at the table. Maybe she should send them a photo of the meal to entice them. As long as everything turned out well enough. Burned chops wouldn’t lure her brothers here, but it would make them laugh. She’d send a photo either way.

Boomer snoozed on his bed in the kitchen corner, making Amber smile. She wondered if she’d feel safe cooking alone in the kitchen without him. Doubtful. She was glad she didn’t have to find out.

She supposed she should be embarrassed for being such a coward. Lots of people survived trauma far worse than hers and returned to normal life without a problem.

But the nightmares had been too intense for her to handle. The police and the doctors had recommended Doctor Kate. She’d hooked up with the woman before the doctors had released Amber from the hospital.

Knowing she was probably alone until she rang the dinner bell, Amber pulled out her phone and put in a video call. If the doctor wasn’t available, she’d leave a message.

Dr. Kate picked up the phone before the second ring. “Amber. It’s so nice to hear from you. How are you?”

She smiled. “Good. I’m doing well.”

“Did you make it to the apple farm?”

“I did. It’s a wonderful place and with Boomer’s help, I’m mostly coping with the newness.”

“How’s Boomer doing?”

At the sound of his name, Boomer rose from his bed and stretched. Then he trotted over. Amber slid to the floor, and he came to sit beside her and check out her phone. At the sight of Dr. Kate, he woofed softly in welcome, making them both laugh.

Amber hugged him. “He’s enjoying it here. I was just thinking that I might not be comfortable cooking alone in the kitchen without him. That made me think of you, and I thought I’d check in with an update.”

“I’m glad you did. You both look well. Any nightmares?”

Dr. Kate never pulled punches. Amber had learned to appreciate her directness and tried to always tell her the truth. “A few. Nothing that’s left me screaming, though.”

Dr. Kate nodded. “Is your room private enough to allow you to get a deep sleep?”

She shrugged. “Not really, but I think it’ll be fine, eventually.

There’s a second house on the property that I’m planning to turn into a B&B or an inn.

It’s an old building and requires a ton of work, but it’s going to be fun.

I think I’ll get one room there ready first. That way, I won’t disturb anyone else if I have nightmares.

Knowing no one will hear me should help me fall into a deep sleep. ”

Kate studied her. “Will you feel safe in a building by yourself? You’re used to being in big buildings, but those have always been filled with people.”

Amber sighed. “Good question. I’m going to have to think about that. Having privacy would be a tradeoff for losing the comfort of having my family close by. And the safety they provide.”

Another nod. “Don’t rush the decision. Ensure it’s what you want before making a move. It sounds like you could easily try it to find out. It doesn’t have to be a permanent switch.”

Which was why she liked Dr. Kate. She helped Amber see the pros and cons. “True. I was in my all-or-nothing space again.”

Kate grinned. “Any time. Have you shared with your family yet?”

Amber’s face flushed. She knew she should, but she wasn’t looking forward to the conversation. “They’ll be upset.”

“Sure. Because they love you and want to support you. Telling them doesn’t make you weak. It helps you and shows that you love them as well.”

Which added to her guilt for not having done it yet.

Kate smiled softly. “And I can feel the guilty vibes emanating from here. You made choices that were best for you at the time. That’s not something you need to feel guilty about. Now that you’re in a safe place, it might be easier to talk to them.”

She nodded and then she heard the door to the mudroom slam. She ruffled Boomer’s head and scrambled to her feet. “Hungry people alert. I have to go, but thanks for picking up.”

“I’ll pick up whenever I can. If I can’t, I’ll call you back. Take care of yourself, Amber. You’re doing great.”

Kate understood Amber was hanging up because she didn’t want to talk about the reason she was chatting with a therapist. She was a coward.

Boomer leaned into her leg, making her smile. “Thanks, Boomer. I’m trying.”

Knox walked into the kitchen and smiled at her. “Smells delicious, Amber.”

His smile dimmed as he studied her and moved to the sink to wash up. “You okay?”

She nodded. “I’m not burning the pork chops.”

He grinned. “You know that’s not what I meant. You ready to talk about it yet?”

She flinched and stared at her brother. “Talk about what?”

He dried his hands and leaned his hip against the counter. “About whatever had all the color leaching from your face. About the thing that drove you away from Chicago. About whatever it is that’s scaring you.”

Her heart thumped. How did he know all that? She’d always been good at keeping her thoughts under control.

Knox sighed and dropped the towel, then stepped close enough to wrap her in his strong, big-brother arms. “No pressure, Amber, but I’m here. Jolie’s here. We know something or someone hurt you. And while I want to go kick the ass of whoever’s responsible, I’ll get your permission first.”

She choked out a laugh and hugged him back. “You don’t need to kick anyone’s ass.”

He leaned back and ran his hands up and down her arms. “That remains undecided. I can see you’re not ready to talk about it.

I get it. It took me a long time to deal with some of the shit in the military.

Took me longer to admit it was a problem.

Just don’t let it eat away at your insides.

Talking about it helps, which surprised the hell out of me.

But it does. We’re here when you’re ready. ”

Then he hugged her again, and Amber battled to keep the tears inside.

She wasn’t ready yet. But she thought one day she would be. And maybe they wouldn’t think she was a coward after all.

G ray stayed where he was at the threshold of the kitchen as Knox hugged his sister. He couldn’t hear their conversation, but from their body language, he knew his buddy had guessed something was up with Amber.

Both Boomer and Knox had acknowledged his presence with a quiet nod, but he didn’t intrude yet.

Instead, he studied Amber’s manner, guessing she still hadn’t told her family what had happened.

Keeping it locked inside had to be hurting her, and he wished she’d open up to her family.

Not that it was his place to decide, but he thought it would help her.

When Annie’s eyebrows shot up, Gray wondered exactly what emotion showed on his face, and how much Knox was reading into that expression.

It didn’t matter. Gray wasn’t skulking around in the shadows. He was interested in getting to know Amber better and knew she felt the same. He had no plans to hide his attraction.

Knox would have to get over any big brother feelings and adjust.

When Amber straightened, Annie’s grip on her eased, and Gray straightened, waiting another few seconds to announce his presence.

Amber turned at his movement and her smile grew, something he was sure Knox noticed. He knew his own smile was wider than usual as well.

As he approached, he realized Amber’s eyes were red. She’d either been crying or close to it.

He touched her arm. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

He nodded, even though he wanted to pry. Sharing a couple of explosive kisses didn’t give him the right. Nothing did. It was up to Amber to decide what to share and what she wanted to keep private.

She surprised him by taking his hand and squeezing. “Thanks, though. I’m about ready to put dinner on the table. Can one of you ring the bell?”

Knox’s brow furrowed, and Gray wasn’t surprised when his buddy followed him to the porch. Before he rang the bell, Knox cleared his throat. Gray grinned. “Big brother intimidation time?”

Knox sighed. “Yep.”

Gray rolled his eyes. “I’ve been attracted to your sister since Chicago. It appears the feelings are mutual. We’re going to figure out if we want to pursue things.”

Knox grimaced. “She’s been hurt. Something happened.”

Gray nodded and watched the realization dawn in Knox’s eyes. “Hell, you know something about that.”

Gray kept his face blank, making his friend sigh again.

Knox turned to survey the orchard for a long moment before turning back.

“I won’t ask you what happened, and I know you weren’t the one to cause it.

But she’s scared. I’m guessing that’s why she’s adopted Boomer.

She’s always wanted a dog, but Boomer is highly trained.

Probably a protection dog. Which means there might be a threat. ”

Knox kicked softly at the porch railing. “Fuck, I want to ask you for details, but I won’t. I won’t ask you to break her trust. I’ll rely on you to let me know if I can do anything to help.”

Then his friend strode back into the house without giving Gray a chance to respond.

He liked having his growing feelings for Amber in the open, but he didn’t like not being able to talk to Knox about the rest of it.

He’d have to talk with Amber about it and encourage her to discuss the whole situation with her family.

With his own sigh, he rang the dinner bell and returned to the kitchen.

Throughout the meal, Amber’s worried glance moved between him and Knox. The others appeared to pick up on the stress, but no one confronted it directly.

Gray was used to his mamma insisting they hammer out all problems during mealtimes. There had been few secrets around Rosina Santoro.

After the group had cleaned the kitchen, they scattered to do their own thing. Gray stayed back with Amber. He took her hand and ran his thumb over her finger. “That was a heavy moment with you and Knox before supper.”

Her eyes widened, and she turned to look at Boomer who snoozed n the corner. “He figured out something happened in Chicago.”

Gray decided to be upfront. “I know.”

Her gaze whirled to him. “You told him?”

He shook his head. “Not a word or a hint. But he’s a smart guy and a concerned brother. He’s figured out something hurt you and that I know about it.”

Amber sighed and slumped against the counter. “I was hoping none of them would figure out anything was wrong.”

“With how much everyone in your family cares about each other? Impossible.”

Her eyes were misty with tears. “You’re probably right.”

“Why don’t you just tell them?”

She sighed. “Because there’s nothing they can do and it would just stress them out. I don’t want to worry them.”

He waited a beat, but when she said nothing else, he kept his voice gentle. “He’s worried now. And so is Jolie. She might not have figured out as much as Knox, but we’ve both seen the way she studies you, as if trying to find answers.”

More tears welled, and Gray pulled her into his arms. She wrapped hers around his waist and snuggled in. There wasn’t anything sexual about the hug, it was all about comfort. Of course, his body didn’t agree. Holding Amber was always going to rev his system.

After a long minute, she sighed and stood back. “I’ll think about it.”

Nodding, he took her hand. “Feel like a walk?”

Boomer bounced to his feet at the word, making them both smile.

Outside, they naturally turned to the front of the property where his gardens and her farmhouse sat.

She gestured to the mess. “Have you made a plan yet?”

He laughed. “Not really. First, it’s going to be hard work to peel back the junk and find the soil.”

“Why don’t we get started?”

“Now?”

She shrugged. “Why not?”

He couldn’t come up with an answer to that. They grabbed gloves, buckets, shears, tarps, and shovels from the barn and headed back.

The long summer days were behind them, but they had at least an hour before the darkness would make it too difficult to do any proper work.

“Where do you want to start?”

Amber’s innocent question had him thinking about starting at her toes and working his way up.

Instead, he pointed at the bushes nearest the farm road.

“These have to go. Actually, pretty much everything has to go. I’ll keep some bushes and perennials, but everything will have to be moved to their new locations. ”

Amber nodded. “I imagine it’ll be easier to start with a clean slate.”

“Always. I’ll set up a couple of tarps. We’ll stack anything that’s considered invasive on top of them. Hopefully, we can gather the roots and seeds from them and stop them from spreading.”

They talked about the plants and his plans as they pulled bushes and weeds.

Beneath the weeds, there were more weeds, with the occasional treasure in the mess. By the time the light dimmed, the tarps were full of debris, and his treasure pile was larger than he would have expected.

The weather called for light rain overnight, which would be perfect for his treasures, but he didn’t want the seeds or roots from the invasive plants running back into the soil with the runoff.

“Can you give me a hand wrapping up the tarps? I want to contain all those plants for the night.”

Amber nodded, and it didn’t take long to wrap them up and bring them into the closest barn. He’d bet Jolie would already have the heavy-duty bags required to dispose of invasive plants, but he’d check on that the next day.

Amber brushed her hands on her jeans. “That was a good night’s work. We made headway with both our projects today.”

Pride filled her voice. He took off his gloves and slapped them against a truck tire to remove dust and debris.

Then he closed the distance between them and put his arms around her. She shuffled in even closer with a mischievous grin. “I think we deserve a reward for working so hard.”

He grinned. “What did you have in mind?”

Instead of answering, she rose on her toes and kissed him.

It was a hell of a reward.