Page 60 of Pervade Montego Bay

“Please, don’t blame yourself.”

“I wasn’t talking about the accident, Em. I’m talking about not doing the right thing here…and back in London.”

“Try not to think about all of that right now.”

“God, my head hurts.”

“I don’t think you should be standing. When you’re done, you’re going right back to bed.”

“That’s not going to happen,” he mumbled.

James

Itexted Xavier: Come home. We need you. More to follow…

I held the phone to my chest as I waited for him to respond.

I was reminded how much I loved sleeping in my own bed. I stretched out, feeling relieved the entire hospital debacle was over.Almost over, my aching head reminded me. I needed to recover quickly and get back to work.

The black-out blinds threw me into complete darkness. The size of this manor ensured it was quiet when you wanted it to be. Outside, the sound of the crickets kept me company as I dozed on and off.

What if Emily had been hit by that jet ski instead of me? The thought of it made my chest tighten. If anything happened to her, Xavier would never forgive me—and I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself, either. I wasn’t sure I could continue to live with that kind of guilt. I was already laden with so much of it.

Admittedly, leaving the hospital against my doctor’s orders wasn’t reasonable. I couldn’t stay there, though. I needed to behere.

I didn’t want Xavier showing up and finding us gone.

I’d taken on a profound responsibility here in the Caribbean. The agency back in London drew most of my attention, but another responsibility had fallen on me years ago and this was another reason I needed to stay alive. It was that secret that weighed heavily on my mind.

My thoughts turned to Xavier and our first days together in this house before we’d returned to London to set the world ablaze.

A near-death experience can change one’s perspective, apparently. The truth followed a pathway my heart had yearned for. My mind had forbidden this fantasy, however. Anuswas all I wanted, but even now it wasn’t something I had a right to.

The door creaked open and I heard footsteps padding towards me.

“James,” whispered Emily.

“Hey.”

She squeezed my arm. “The doctor told me to check on you frequently.”

“I’m fine.”

“How am I to know whether you’ve gone unconscious again or you’re just sleeping?”

“I’m not having any symptoms.” Other than this splitting headache and the soreness where some doctor had sewn stitches into my scalp. I had yet to remove the bandage and look at the wound.

“Can I get you anything?” she asked.

I lifted the blanket. “Climb in.”

“I’m dressed.”

“Come on.”

She kicked off her shoes and climbed in beside me. Her body molded perfectly to mine and I dipped my head to bury my face in her lustrous hair, her soft scent stirring warm emotions that brought me comfort.

I can have this intimacy, I reassured myself. I can enjoy this innocent time together until she has to leave.