Page 19 of Persuading Penny (Jane Austen Association #4)

I had to keep busy to keep Cliff out of my thoughts, and keeping busy with Steve was easy and pleasant and enjoyable and easy. Yes, it was easy.

Having forgotten to pack a picnic, we had lunch at the Pump Room and chatted about the unpredictable weather.

We walked hand in hand through the park and discussed local politics.

We strolled through town, looking into all the shop windows and had an animated conversation about art and its subjective nature.

It was all so easy.

The following day we visited an antique shop, but conversation was sparse. We then had our picnic in the park, kicking off our shoes and sitting back, taking in the noonday sun and listening to the various birds busily squawking up in the trees.

We couldn’t very well re-visit the topic of weather, or politics or art and it seemed that any other topic I brought up was of little interest to him, as were the topics he brought up of little interest to me, though I tried.

“I’ll be going back to work tomorrow,” I said, letting him know in advance that this would be the last day of leisure for me.

“You must be eager to get back to it.” He popped a fresh raspberry into his mouth. “I know that once I’ve embarked on a project, I don’t like to have it interrupted.”

Nodding, I wondered if he’d ever embarked on a project that forced him to watch someone he was fond of romance another.

Yes, I was eager to get back to work, but no... I wasn’t eager to watch Cliff get all googly-eyed when Bridget walked onto the set.

But the following day, as the crew set up for a shot right in the heart of Bath, I had to walk away.

It seemed everyone wanted to talk about the golden couple, and how adorable they were together, and how romantic it all was, and how perfect they were for one another, and on and on to a nauseating degree.

“Are you okay?” Keely said as she walked out of the restaurant that was serving as our homebase for the day.

Closed to the public for the day, the production used the large dining room for hair and makeup, as a dressing room and, of course, we would all be dining there later in the day.

“I’m fine. I think maybe I had too many days off. It’s hard getting back into the routine of work.”

She looked at me funny but said nothing.

The actresses needed for the scene, including Bridget, walked out of the restaurant, laughing and giggling.

At the sound of Bridget’s laughter, my stomach turned. She was so pretty, so bright and vibrant and alluring. No wonder Cliff was enamored.

Keely joined him as he came out of the shadows and went to the actresses, telling them where to stand, the steps they should walk and finally the spot they should stop to chat.

“Look at her,” the hair stylist said. “She is positively radiant whenever he’s around.”

The camera operator standing beside her smirked.

“What’s that smirk mean?” she said.

“I’ve heard that today might be the day.”

“The day of what? What are you talking about?”

“The whole incident at Southampton really shook him up. Apparently, it made him realize just how much she means to him.”

I looked around me. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to get away. I had to move away from these people who were all so eager to talk about this couple every chance they got.

“So, what is he going to do today?”

I glanced back at him. His brow cocked, he seemed pleased with the bit of gossip he was about to share with her.

“I hear he bought a ring... one hell of a rock... and he wants to propose... today... after these scenes...”

“No!” she said, shocked.

The same word jammed in my throat. No. Surely he was mistaken. He had to be mistaken.

I looked around me again, the need to get away now urgent. I was about to break down. I knew the tears were right there, impossible to hold back.

I ran to the door of the restaurant, quickly found the sign indicating the ladies room and ran to it.

Once inside, in my private little stall, I burst into tears; hot tears that burned. My throat tightened to the point of pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart.

“Oh, my God,” I mouthed, the words an inaudible whisper.

I pulled tissues from the dispenser by the toilet and loudly blew my nose.

Calm yourself. For Pete’s sake, calm yourself.

But it was useless, I sobbed and wept and cried just like I had when I’d lost him the first time. But I wasn’t losing him again, I told myself. I never had him. From the moment he saw me, he made it clear that whatever we’d had a decade ago was long dead.

A fresh wave of tears poured down my cheeks.

“Penny?” Keely said. “Is that you?”

I bit down on my tears and remained silent.

“Penny?”

Her footsteps brought her to my stall door.

“Are you all right in there?”

I nodded as more tears streaked my cheeks.

She tried the door. “Penny, please open the door.”

“I’m all right,” I finally managed to whisper.

“No. Clearly, you’re not. Please open the door.”

I set my hand on the hook that kept the door locked. How could I face her? I was a mess.

“Penny, my dear,” she said, her voice stern and uncompromising.

“If you don’t open this door in the next seconds, I am going to slither under this door and come to you.

Now, I wearing my favorite off white pants and I would hate to dirty them on this bathroom floor, but if that’s what I have to do, I will. ”

I unlocked the door and pushed it open a crack. She quickly pulled the door wide open. The instant she saw my face; she pulled me into her arms and the tears that’d been streaming down my face now drenched her shirt.

“Oh, my God, Penny. What is going on?”

I couldn’t answer. I just cried.

Grasping my shoulders, she pulled back to look at me, gently pushing my damp hair out of my face. “Penny, what happened? Did anyone hurt you?”

Sort of.

“Tell me. If someone hurt you, I’ll fire them on the spot.”

I shook my head.

“Did someone say something mean?”

I shook my head.

“Then what is it? Is something going on at home? Your mom? Your dad?”

On and on, I shook my head.

“You were fine when I spoke to you just minutes ago. What happened?”

“All the talk,” I finally said.

She raised her brow. “The talk? What talk?”

“The proposal.”

Befuddled, she shook her head and looked at me. “Honey, you have to tell me something more coherent than that.”

“Cliff is going to propose to Bridget.”

She nodded. “Yeah. I heard something about that.”

I wailed and fell into her arms.

“Is that it?” she said, petting my hair. “You’re upset that Cliff might propose to Bridget?”

I nodded.

“But... why? Why does that up...? Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Penny. Cliff. The way you’ve behaved so oddly every time he’s around. There’s something between you two, isn’t there?”

Clinging to her, I nodded.

“So, when you said you knew each other, you two really knew each other.”

“We were almost engaged.” I forced myself to release her before my nose dripped all over her. I reached inside the stall to pull out some toilet paper and loudly blew my nose.

“Oh, Penny,” she went on. “Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have insisted you be on set so much.”

I shrugged. “I thought I could handle it. It was almost a decade ago. Our story was long past. But... Oh. It’s so hard.

So much harder than I expected. Seeing him was hard enough but seeing him with.

.. with her... with that frivolous actress who is all silly and giddy and giggly and girly. .. it’s torture.”

“I understand. I know how hard it can be to witness the person we love fall in love with someone else.”

Hearing her say that aloud, that I loved Cliff, and that Cliff loved Bridget hit so hard, I had to sit on the toilet before my legs gave out.

I shook my head, wanting to shake her words off. “I’ve moved on,” I said feebly. “I’ve met someone. Someone wonderful. He’s handsome and kind and such a gentleman.”

But he’s not Cliff.

“That’s wonderful, Penny. That’s exactly what you should do. Get on with your life. Have fun. Find love and romance. That’s the best remedy for a heartache like this. Soon, you’ll realize that you’re happier without him.”

Fat chance of that happening.