Page 14

FOURTEEN

Crushers Group Text Thread

Tate

Anyone want to go to the gym today?

Leo

It’s summer, Sheriff. No Coach Jenkins yelling at us, no Brendan turning warm-ups into near-death experiences, and no Tate guilting us into lifting before noon. Some of us have summer plans that don’t involve becoming more boring.

Brax

I have to go to an OB appointment with Jaz. This baby has more scheduled checkups than I do.

Miles

Wait, I thought this was about the gym?

Leo

Rookie, brace yourself for creepy ultrasound pics that Brax claims look just like him.

Brax

The baby DOES have my chin. Doctor confirmed.

Rourke

Anyone want to meet at Boots and Buckles tonight? I met a hot teacher there last week. I think her name was Julie? Josie?

Brax

You mean Janie? Pink in her hair, teaches kindergarten in Sully’s Beach?

Rourke

That’s her name! Wait, she teaches small children?

Brax

That’s what a kindergarten teacher does, genius. Nice girl. Stay away from her.

Rourke

But she’s off for the summer. I’m off for the summer. Sounds like destiny. Or at least, a summer fling with no long-term consequences.

Brax

The last time you said something was “destiny,” you ended up in the ER with a dart in your thigh and that waitress who changed her phone number. Twice.

Rourke

First of all, that dart was NOT my fault. Who puts a dartboard next to the men’s room? Second, I’ve matured since April.

Brax

Jaz’s exact words: “If Rourke goes near sweet Janie from my yoga class, I will personally ensure he never fathers children.”

Rourke

Jaz can’t stop true love.

Leo

Or in this case, true lust.

Rourke

Sheriff’s trying to hook up with our PR queen, and no one’s stopping him.

Tate

I am NOT trying to “hook up” with anyone. Lauren is helping me with PR. We’ve hung out a few times.

Leo

But didn’t she tell her sister you were dating?

Rourke

You ARE hooking up with the PR manager!

Brax

Are you going to the family reunion with her? Jaz told me she talked to Lauren about her summer plans.

Tate

Her sister invited me, but since then, Lauren’s been ghosting me. So I’m renting a rustic cabin on the outskirts of Sully’s Beach. Just silence, trees, and no Leo snoring through the wall.

Leo

For the last time, I DON’T SNORE.

Brax

Look, Lauren says one thing, but Jaz says she means another. It’s like code. She wants you to come. She just doesn’t want to ask you to come. Big difference.

Lucian

And nothing makes for great PR more than the element of surprise.

Rourke

If you go, do NOT spend the whole time talking about Lord of the Rings.

Tate

I’m not going to talk to her about that.

Leo

When you’re nervous, it’s either “Did you know a puck can travel 100mph?” or “Would you like that translated into Elvish?”

Tate

I don’t even know Elvish.

Leo

You dressed up like Gandalf on Halloween. Full robe, staff, the whole “You shall not pass” to every child who attempted to come to the door. You scared a child to tears.

Tate

ONE TIME. And I thought he was dressed like an orc. He was carrying a plastic ax.

Rourke

He was dressed as a lumberjack, you nerd.

Brax

You owe Lauren. She met with the commissioner’s wife and smoothed it all over. Gave a donation to her charity.

Tate

So why am I riding motorcycles and cuddling puppies?

Brax

Because she went to war for you. Might be time to return the favor.

Rourke

For the love of hockey, do NOT bring your Gandalf costume.

Tate

I’m tempted to block all of you.

Leo

Too late. Already screen-shotted this whole thread for future blackmail.