Chapter Seven
Perry
Nate was stressed. He’d deny it until the sun went down, but that didn’t make it untrue. I thought getting him away from Malcom might help, but it hadn’t. If anything, the rigid lines in his shoulders had only become increasingly taut.
We’d decided to explore a short trail—one that took us out of earshot and eyesight of the campgrounds. The sounds of squirrels and chipmunks scurrying through the underbrush surrounded us. Birds fluttered from tree to tree, their songs hushed in the late morning heat. Enough patches of sunlight filtered through the canopy to keep the mosquitos at bay. In the distance, I thought I could hear the sound of running water. I knew there were waterfalls around and hoped Nate and I’d be able to make it to them while we were here.
Now wasn’t the time to wander that far from base camp. The first group meeting was scheduled in about thirty minutes. Malcom said it would be a short meet-and-greet to kick off the retreat. Lunch would follow, and then the activities would begin.
I’d wanted to steal a little private time with Nate. I’d hoped the solo walk would help take his mind off whatever was troubling him.
I was wrong.
As we came around a small bend, I eyed a bench nearby and made for it.
“Is your knee giving you trouble?” Nate asked, concern lacing his voice as he stared down at the long scar slicing through my skin. It was the most recent in a patchwork of modern art seared into and around my knee. It was too hot for anything more than shorts, and the scars were what they were. People could stare and wonder all they wanted. The only opinion I cared about was the man currently sitting beside me, fingers already on my damaged skin, ready to massage me at a moment’s notice.
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s actually holding up okay. For now.”
“Good.” Nate didn’t remove his hand. He also didn’t say anything more. Instead, his head turned this way and that, his eyes in constant motion as they gazed at our surroundings.
I swallowed hard. I’d wanted Nate here with me. Honestly, I don’t think he would have been okay with me coming alone. Maybe that would bother some people. I didn’t feel that way. There were reasons Nate worried. Sound reasons. I’d hoped this might give his mind and emotions a break. Being a homicide detective was draining, and every now and again, Nate needed to refuel. I’d sincerely thought this might be a good way to refill his emotional tank. Right now, looking at how tense he was, I didn’t think I could have been more wrong.
Lying my hand over his, I entwined our fingers. Nate automatically squeezed my hand, but his attention didn’t so much as tilt my direction.
Inhaling, I decided sitting there, quietly contemplating the situation, wasn’t going to do either of us any good. Without any fanfare, I said, “If it’s not a current case that’s bothering you, then it’s something else.”
I’d finally gotten Nate’s attention. Turning wide eyes in my direction, he said, “I’m not—”
“Don’t you dare say you’re not bothered. You’d be insulting my powers of observation if you do.”
Nate’s mouth snapped shut, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “That wasn’t my intention.”
“I know,” I soothed. “What I also know is that you’re wound tighter than a tick right now, and that’s not how I want the next few days to go. So, like I said, if it’s not about a case, then that leads me to believe you're anxious about something more immediate, something closer to home.” I hated the name I was about to speak but said it anyway. “You’re worried about Willie, aren’t you?”
Nate’s face fell before his lips stretched into a grimace. “He could be out there.” Nate tossed a hand wide, indicating the breadth of the woods. “He could be anywhere.”
Nate wasn’t wrong. “That’s true. He could also be back at my apartment building, hiding around the corner, waiting for the right time. He knows where I shop for groceries. He knows where I work, and he knows you come over to my place every night. Willie could be anywhere at any time.”
Nate gave a slow nod. “I know, but this just seems a little much. I know we talked about it, about not letting Willie dictate our lives, but now that we’re here and I see how vast the area is, how out in the open and exposed you are… I don’t know how I’m supposed to protect you, Perry.”
The unsaid true wording was that Nate wasn’t sure he could protect me. That was the real problem. That was the everyday problem.
Shifting position, I aimed my body toward Nate and cupped the side of his face. “No one can predict the future, Nate. All we can do is our best and try and live in the meantime. I went into this retreat with my eyes wide open. Willie might be here. He might be halfway around the world, or he might be renting a room in the apartment complex across from mine, waiting for his moment to strike. If that’s the case, then perhaps our best revenge is knowing that Willie’s having a shit life while stalking me.” I grinned, liking that idea.
Nate’s answering smile told me he agreed. “A shit life, huh? You really think that’s what Willie’s dealing with?”
“If there’s truly karma in the world, then yes. And even if Willie doesn’t think it’s a shit life, I do. I can’t imagine living like that—hiding, waiting, spending hour upon hour in the shadows.” I shook my head. “I was in a coma for months. Let me tell you, the dark is pretty damn dull.”
Nate’s shoulders finally relaxed, rounding as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine. “I can’t imagine life without you, Perry. Not much truly terrifies me. That does.”
I cupped his chin. “Then don’t think about it.”
“I have to. I have to contemplate the risks. I have to get inside Willie’s head and figure out his next move. Trust me, it’s not what I want, but it’s what needs to be done. I won’t lose you because I was too afraid to travel down the scary what-if roads.”
Inhaling, I blew out a deep breath. “Okay. I get it, but we’re in this together. We’re a team, Nate. I need you to share your fears with me. You don’t have to coddle me.”
“I’m not coddling you. I—”
“You’re trying to protect me, and I appreciate that. I love your consideration. It’s an extension of your love for me. Trust me, I get it. What I also get is that it’s wearing you down. Don’t forget, I love you too and want to protect you as much as you want to protect me. We’ll go about it in different ways. My job is to protect this.” I patted Nate’s chest over his pounding heart. “And this.” I tapped his temple. “I will do everything to physically protect us, too, but your head and heart are my wheelhouse. Let’s lean into our strengths. You strategize, and I’ll keep you sane while you’re rooting around in Willie’s deranged mind. Okay?”
Nate’s breathing hitched, and when he pulled away, his eyes shimmered. “How did I get this damn lucky?”
Chuckling, I pulled away and stood. “I think it’s a stretch calling either of us lucky. What I am is hungry. We should get back just in time for the meet and greet and then some lunch. Come on, Harmon.” I tugged Nate’s hand, easily pulling him into a standing position. Before I could pull away, Nate tugged me against his chest and gently nipped at my lips. The kiss deepened and would have continued, but I hadn’t been lying about being hungry. My stomach rumbled, and Nate pulled away, a quirked grin twisting his lips.
“Better get going and feed that monster living in your belly before it devours us both.”
Hands clasped together, Nate led the way back to camp, his muscles slightly less tense.
M y cheeks flamed as my stomach growled again. Nate snickered while Delia raised a curious eyebrow.
“Sorry,” I whispered, glad Malcom’s voice was loud enough to cover my hunger.
Delia smirked and quickly turned her attention back to Malcom. Nate’s hand was on my thigh and his fingers gave a light squeeze.
Desperately trying to ignore my hunger, I attempted to focus on Malcom’s speech.
“Don’t worry,” Malcom said. “You’ll get plenty of exploration time on your own. Group activities will be kept to a minimum; however, participation will be mandatory.”
A few groans sounded, and Malcom shook it off with a bark of laughter. “Now, don’t give me that. These exercises are meant to be fun. They’re also a good way to get to know your fellow teammates. You are all valuable employees and often work solo. That is the way of our business. Sometimes, cooperation is needed, and it’s important to understand your teammate’s strengths to capitalize on them and create a more successful environment and company. Some clients require a bit more attention or something special that requires help. Asking for assistance doesn’t imply weakness; it indicates strength and a willingness to work for the betterment of the company, not the individual.”
I scratched my cheek, wondering when a mosquito had gotten through my chemical defenses and bitten me. I also wondered why Malcom asked me to come to the retreat. While I was a Maverick employee, I didn’t sell insurance, and I definitely didn’t need to work with anyone sitting around the created circle. I cleaned the place and kept things tidy.
A breeze tickled the sweat dripping down my neck. We were in a shady spot, the sun high in the sky but blocked by old-growth trees. Nate was to my right, and Delia was to my left. My sunglasses were firmly in place and so far, my medication was keeping any migraines at bay. While I wasn’t sure what I could contribute to any group activities, I decided it was a small price to pay for the opportunity to get outside and enjoy Mother Nature for a while.
My mind wandered as Malcom continued speaking. My stomach rumbled again, but the tone was quieter and didn’t attract as much attention this time. My gaze wandered along with my brain. I recognized most of the employees encircling the camp. Most of them I only had a cursory knowledge of. Maybe a wave or whispered “hello” in passing. What became glaringly obvious was that I was the only one here with a plus- one. Since Nate was invited, I’d assumed the retreat was a family affair, or at least one where others would bring their spouses or significant others. After a year of cleaning their desks and seeing pictures depicting loved ones, weddings, anniversaries, and birthdays, I knew many Maverick Insurance employees had significant others. So, why weren’t they here? Why was Nate the only one?
Anxiety crept in along with an uneasy sense that I truly didn’t belong, that I was special in a way I didn’t want to be.
“What’s wrong?” Nate worriedly whispered into my ear. “You tensed up all of a sudden.”
I swallowed hard and kept my voice low as I answered, “You’re the only plus-one here.”
Nate jerked back, and his eyes tracked the circle before he asked, “Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure,” I answered. There was always a chance Nate was the only one who’d come to the meet and greet, but I didn’t think so.
“Huh,” Nate replied unhelpfully.
I wasn’t sure what to make of it, if anything. Most likely, I was overprocessing things. Pushing my brain would only result in a migraine and would likely be horribly unhelpful. Maybe Malcom understood that I wouldn’t have come without Nate. Why having me here was so important to him, I wasn’t sure. I figured Malcom just wanted to make sure I knew I was welcome and a valued employee.
Nate’s fingers pressed harder against my thigh, and he whispered “Don’t worry about it. I promise not to embarrass you.” He winked and grinned, and suddenly, my concern vanished. That was Nate’s superpower—making me feel good. It sounded so simple, and yet it was far from that easy. Nate always knew what to say. He knew what facial expression to make and what emotion to draw out of me. I had no idea how he did it, only that he was a master and I was forever grateful.
“Okay, everyone, who’s ready to eat?” Malcom said after finishing his introduction.
I jumped to my feet without hesitation. Finally, food.
Nate followed suit, and Delia’s laughter followed behind. I wasn’t sure what was on the lunch menu, but it would have to be something horrid for me not to eat it.
Dragging Nate behind me, I headed for the main pavilion. The smell of grilled hamburgers made my stomach grumble louder, this time in anticipation. I’d been so preoccupied with my hunger and thoughts that I had no idea what Malcom had planned out for us after lunch. One problem at a time. That had become my mantra, and right now, the problem was satiating my hunger. As I queued up in line, plate in hand, one problem was about to be solved, just a zillion more to overcome.
One problem at a time , I repeated mentally, that mantra set on repeat.