Page 17 of Palm South University: Season 3
YOU KNOW THAT SHINY, pink skin that makes up a scar? The kind that is a little bit thinner, yet somehow a little more resilient? The kind that marks you forever with a warning sign, with a memory, with a reminder? Well, I am covered in that skin, from head to toe, and I’ve never felt more beautiful.
The summer made me stronger.
I left Palm South University last semester broken. Shattered. Completely and utterly destroyed. I didn’t know if I’d come back — hell, I didn’t know if I’dsurvive. But here I am, stronger than ever, and it’s all thanks to my mom.
She helped me take the pain and the fear and transform them into drive and determination. It took months of tough love and reality checks that hurt almost worse than what had happened with Landon, but I was finally standing on my own.
And this semester, I was standing even taller.
I realize this is the best part about my new scarred skin as I apply the last bit of my foundation, working it into my skin with a makeup sponge and a soft smile on my face. The best part about my scars is that no one else can see them but me.
Andthatis power.
“I just don’t understand why she won’t take a Little,” I say to Skyler again as I dig through my makeup bag for my eyebrow pencil. “I mean, I get that she’s got a tough schedule this semester, but so does everyone else. This is prime time to add to the family. And if she ends up taking a Little next year, that’s one less year they’ll have together and she’ll be so young when she takes president like the rest of our family. It’ll make everything more difficult for her. It just doesn’t make sense. Youalwaystake a Little after your first year. You just do.”
“Ex,” Skyler sighs my nickname, sitting up on the edge of my bed. “Please, can we just let it go? Cassie wants to wait and we need to support her. It’s fine, our line will be fine, the presidency legacy will be fine, it’ll all befine. Just chill.”
I would roll my eyes if I wasn’t currently lining them. “Fine. I’ll let it go. But I think it’s a mistake, especially since this is the best pledge class we’ve ever had.”
“All thanks to you,” Skyler reminds me with a wink.
It’s a transparent attempt to change the subject and drive me back to Happy Town, but I let it happen. Mostly because the first goal I wanted to accomplish with my newfound determination was to land us the most amazing girls KKB had ever seen, and I’d succeeded.
“I still can’t believe it,” I say, grabbing my mascara next. Skyler is still in her pajamas, but I have the first Panhellenic all-chapter meeting in thirty minutes, and I plan to make a statement when I walk in. “Highest average GPA, highest percentage of athletes, highest percentage of on-campus involvement. We’re going to be unstoppable this semester.”
“You killed it. I’ve never seen a recruitment run so smoothly, Big.” Skyler beams as I brush the last of my lashes. “You definitely don’t have to worry about getting president now. It’s a definite.”
I smile. “You think?”
“Iknow.”
Suddenly my bedroom door flies open and Jess tumbles into the room, jumping onto Ashlei’s bed across from where Skyler is sitting.
“HE’S COMING!”
She bounces on the bed, the floppy mess of hair piled in a bun on her head jumping right along with her as she claps her hands.
“Jesus?” Skyler asks.
“Close. Jarrett!”
This time we all squeal with her, and she falls back on the bed, legs kicking in the air.
“He’s coming to visit and he’ll be here a whole week! Andddd, I’m going to introduce him to everyone! No more secrets. I want every single person to know I’m his and he’s mine.”
“You could always get t-shirts made,” I offer.
Jess tosses a pillow in my direction, but it thumps against my closet door and slides down pathetically. “Whatever, Ex. Not even the best of sarcasm can get me down today. Myboyfriendis coming to town!”
Skyler and I both laugh and then I turn to rummage through my closet while Jess goes on and on about what they’ll do while he’s here. I know it’s a big step for them, since most of their relationship has been kept a secret due to his job on campus. Now that he’s working up north, there’s nothing to hide, and I’m happy for Jess.
A small part of me wonders if I’ll ever know that happiness. The thought of letting another guy in, letting him close, seems so impossible it’s like imagining winning the lottery. Fun to think about, but depressing all the same.
My phone buzzes on my desk just as I pull on my favorite Lilly Pulitzer dress and I check my reflection before swiping it off the desk. Clinton’s name is framed by a small box, and I swallow, heart kicking against my chest as I slide my thumb across the screen.
- Hey, you, what are you doing for your birthday next week? Big 2-1 deserves a bad-ass party. -
I stare at his text, a mixture of emotions swirling inside me. Clinton was the one who saved me the night of formal, the one who held me together when the last thread snapped. I’m forever thankful for him holding me, for him taking care of me, and most of all, for him not telling anyone else what happened. I knew when I asked him for that, it would be hard for him to do, but he did it because he cared about me.
Still, I don’t need any man — not even him — and what’s more, I know the minute we’re alone, he’ll want me to talk. He’ll want me to tell him I’m okay, to tell him what I’ve done to work through what happened.
But I can’t reopen that wound.
I won’t.
So I ignore the text, dropping my phone into my purse and slinging it over my shoulder before turning back to the girls. “Okay, first Panhellenic meeting. Wish me luck!”
“Good luck!” they both say in unison, and I slip back into business mode without a second thought.