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Chapter Fifty-Nine

Darien

W hen a Formula 1 team wins a race with either of their drivers, they are able to choose a member of their staff to come up and accept a second trophy awarded to the constructor. For this one, in Abu Dhabi, the finale of the season, the vote is unanimous.

Shantal climbs the podium, now free of the dress and wearing her team T-shirt and shorts, hoisting the trophy for Heidelberg Hybridge. Later, she’ll attend the prize-giving held by the FIA to accept the Constructors’ Championship, along with the rest of our team.

I feel weightless when the Brazilian anthem plays, for the first time in years, for a Brazilian champion, fans screaming every word of the hymn with me. It’s almost surreal that this has finally happened, and in the year I suffered the injury I thought would end my career for good. All the tribulations of the season are left behind as I stand on the top step of the podium. And even though I was only on that top step for a couple of minutes, the feeling of being on top of the entire world doesn’t dissipate.

I extend the flag wide behind me as the anthem comes to an end, complete with roaring and applause. I wave animatedly to the fans at the fence. And for a moment, I think I see Pai’s face among them, beaming as he holds up the Brazilian flag as well, calling out my name with tears of happiness in his eyes.

When I bring the fabric back around myself, there are tears in my eyes, too.

It feels like my Pai is giving me a great big hug.

Demir is the first person to reunite with me after the ceremony. The guy’s clearly had an evening, his hair plastered back from his forehead with sweat, his sunglasses gone missing, and confetti sticking to his button-down. ‘Darien!’

‘Hey, man,’ I chuckle as he gives me a big hug full of stray confetti pieces. As ruthless as Demir can be, I have to give him credit. If he hadn’t taken a chance on me those few years ago, we wouldn’t be here. With a title, and a legacy in the making.

‘I do have to say.’ He gives my back a firm pat before pulling away and regarding me with pride. ‘You took everything this season gave you and turned it into your magnum opus . I’m afraid, Darien, you will never be able to top the year you’ve had.’

That gets a laugh out of me. ‘I’ll find a way.’

‘Then there’s only one thing left for me to do.’ Demir holds out a hand, looking me in the eye with a grin. ‘I’m giving you the next three years with this team. You and Redenc?o, if you’re ready for the fantastic change this will bring about.’

I’ve waited all year for this. And I’m finally a handshake away.

I took the brunt of a vehicular collision, recovered in a fraction of the expected time, suffered reinjury, had my heart mended, broken, and now mended again, and I’m a handshake away.

If Demir notices my eyes welling up again when I give his hand a firm shake, he doesn’t say anything.

Shortly after, the entire crowd dissipates, everyone going their separate ways after the grand finale to the Formula 1 season. I’m not totally sure I can believe it’s over, and I’m not totally sure where I go from here, to be honest. This Championship was my finish line for such a long time that I’ve never really thought beyond it. Yeah, I’ll go home, back to California, bask in the title with my mom, who’s in the States now. We’ll have a family Christmas, family New Year’s, and then it will be February again. Redenc?o will shift to the Ring, Heidelberg will start training our young talent, Brazil will get her time in the limelight. The season will come, and then it’ll go, and then we’ll do it all again, and again, and again, hopefully for a good, long time.

I wrap an arm around Shantal as she sits down beside me on the podium, the Brazilian flag coming with me so it engulfs us both from behind like a sort of blanket. She lets her head fall to my shoulder, and I press a kiss into her hair.

‘I think I might stick around,’ she whispers.

‘Where?’

‘In your world. This world.’

‘You …’ I almost can’t believe it. ‘Wait. You’re gonna leave England to …’

‘You’ve won it all, haven’t you? You know Conquest is joined at the hip with Heidelberg now. I’m sure you know damn well I’ll do whatever it takes to personally stay with the team for round two.’ Shanni beams, and I think she beams for herself, a little gesture that melts my heart. ‘I never thought this … push , straight out of my comfort zone, would give me my life’s passion back. And besides, I can’t leave you again,’ she says, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. ‘It’s about time I loved for the sake of loving, is all I know.’

‘Even if that means suffering through another season of this crap?’ I remark, more as a joke than anything else, but Shanni’s smile in return is full of resolve.

‘ Especially if that means suffering through another season of this crap. With you.’

And in that moment I know that no matter what next season has in store for us, no matter how difficult it gets, it will be easy for the both of us. Easy in the way our bodies are made to hold each other, the way our hearts don’t need to share feelings; in the way that, off the track, I won’t have to worry about counting deltas and wasting time.

I’ll already know that every second belongs to the one I love.