Page 30 of Out in the Surf

Sometime later, we redressed, put on sweatshirts, and went to the upstairs deck to watch the stars and listen to the waves. We were quiet for a short while, but it wasn’t awkward at all. It was sweet. It felt nice to be with someone and not feel the need to fill the silence.

And when we did speak, it felt like talking to an old friend. It was as if our respective armor cracked, allowing us to share freely.

Don’t get crazy. We didn’t deep-dive into childhood trauma or analyze our life choices. We talked about fun stuff, like…movies and TV shows we loved as kids.

I was hungry for details tonight. I didn’t just want to know the name of his favorite movie or TV show, I wanted to know why he liked it, how old he’d been when he saw it, and who he’d watched it with. And I hoarded every piece of information he shared like a detective solving a mystery.

Our six-year age difference wasn’t much in the scheme of things. However, according to Cal, I’d missed out on some awesome video games and Nickelodeon shows. I teased him about his throwbacks to the dark ages and he pretended to be offended. But he also couldn’t stop touching me. His hand on my arm, my hip, my waist, my hair.

And I couldn’t get enough. I leaned into his touch and hung on his every word, feeling more centered and at peace than I had in a year.

I rested my hip on the railing and wrapped my arms over my chest for warmth when the wind kicked up. I didn’t want to ruin the moment, but I had to know something.

“Tonight was good.” I paused for a beat and squinted. “You liked it. Right?”

Cal turned to me, his features half-shadowed in the moonlight. He cupped my chin and rubbed his thumb along my jawline. It was a lover’s touch. Not a fuck-buddy or a friend thing. It was the simplest, sweetest, smallest gesture, but it was filled with easy affection. He didn’t have to say a word, but he did.

“I loved it. Thank you.”

I snorted. “Don’t thank me. As you could tell, it was definitely my pleasure.”

Cal smiled, slipping his arm around my waist and pulling me against his side. “Mine too, but that wasn’t what I meant. Thank you for…being you. Tonight was perfect. Itisperfect.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Do you want to stay?”

I did a double take. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if that was really okay or wise. Someone might notice, and he’d have some explaining to do. But Cal was a smart dude. He didn’t need to be reminded that I was a guy. So I swallowed my “Are you sure?” speech and bit his chin playfully.

“What’s for breakfast?”

“Oatmeal.”

“Hmm. With brown sugar?”

“Of course. I have berries too.”

I nudged my nose against his. “Strawberries?”

“And blueberries.”

“I’m in.”

Cal grinned. “Good. You have to help me change the sheets first.”

“Deal.”

I winked, then turned to the sea to hide my smile when it threatened to give me away.

Damn, I had it bad.

Sure, I’d had a crush on this man from the moment we’d met, but the reality of Cal was so much sweeter than the idealized surfer sage hero I’d imagined. He didn’t profess to know all the answers. He couldn’t solve my problems or erase old scars, but being with him calmed me.

And in all my messy, clueless-wonder ways, I wanted to think I had something to offer him too. I had no idea what that might be. For now, I was content and happy. Knowing he felt the same was enough.

More than enough.

6