Page 20 of Only You

SIXTEEN

“Holy shit, you’re actually alive,” Kellan says, being a total asshole and over-the-top, but I guess it has been a while since I’ve been to his house.

Like four days. But for us, that’s a long time. I can’t help it though. I’ve been spending every free second wrapped around Remy.

“I’ve seen you every day at work, asshole.”

He chuckles and lets me into the house. I look around and don’t see a single soul. I cock my brow at him, and he laughs. “Cason is at football practice. Braylen is getting ready. Kieran is outside, reading. Phillip is picking up Raegan from art class.”

I flop down on the couch, and he follows. “I can’t believe Cason is playing football. Thought he hated sports.”

“He does, but that kid also needs to be kept busy.”

I nod my head in agreement because I can’t argue with that. The busier the better when it comes to Cason—something I know all too well.

“So?” He looks at me expectantly, and since he’s been such an ass, I decide to be one also, even though I know exactly what he wants to know.

“What?” I ask coyly, and he punches me in the arm.

“How was your date? How are things with Remy? You can’t just tell us you’re going out on a date and then disappear. That’s just fucking rude.”

I cackle at his dramatics but smile when I think about Remy. “Good. Really good.”

“Yeah?” My best friend looks happy for me, that’s for sure. “Still scared?”

“Every fucking second,” I answer him honestly.

“Do you need the gay sex talk?” He throws back more of my words at me, and okay—I was a shithead, and I deserve it.

“Fuck off,” I say, but I’m not angry. “We have that part covered.”

His eyes bug a little at that, and I laugh.

“What? You’re surprised?” Not that I’m going into any details, and really all we’ve done is rub off on one another and kiss—all the kissing, goddamn, do I love kissing him—but it’s been more than enough.

I’ve felt more pleasure in the past few days than I have in my lifetime

“I guess I shouldn’t be. It’s you.”

“What’s that mean?” I ask, pretty much already knowing what he means.

“You go all-in. I’ve never really seen you second-guess a thing in your life.” He shrugs, stretching his legs out in front of him. “Well, until Remy. You’ve questioned everything with him.”

“Not everything,” I say curtly. “Once I realized I wanted to be his friend, we were friends. When I wanted more...” I stop because I guess I did hesitate. “I just didn’t want to hurt him.”

Kellan places a heavy hand on my shoulder. “I’m happy for you, man. Just wait. Soon you’ll be just like Phillip and me. All coupled up and happy. Grossing everyone out.”

I fake gag and receive another punch in the arm. It’s how we show affection. It works for us. I rub my arm, but it doesn’t really hurt. “We’ll never be as gross as you two.”

He laughs heartily. “You do love him though, right?”

I can’t seem to actually make a sound when I try to answer, so I reply with a quick nod.

“Have you told him?”

I shake my head, still not able to form actual words.

“Why not?” I kind of hate my best friend right now. Though not really.

“I guess I’m hesitating,” I quip. And I hate it, to be honest. I want to scream that I love Remy right to his face and then tell the whole world, but I can’t seem to do it. I hold back.

Because I’m terrified it’ll send him running far away from me. “You think he doesn’t love you back?”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” I say and stand up. “Why the hell are you so chatty now? This is fucking weird.”

“Quit being a baby,” he says, totally unbothered by my ranting. “That man loves you. And you love him.”

I sigh because I think he may love me too, but there’s this deep-seated fear that maybe I’m reading too much into everything. I mean, he did break a rule for me and let me take him out on a date, and hell, he even let me kiss him. But it’s the what-ifs that are killing me. “I’m waiting.”

“For what?” he asks, just gazing up at me from his comfortable seat on the couch, his arms draped over the back.

“Him.”

He purses his lips in understanding—an understanding I don’t think he likes. “That’s not like you. You don’t wait. You go for it.”

Unshakable fear sits in my belly because I do just go for things, but look where that got me.

“Yeah, and I went for it last time and pushed him away. He ran, and I didn’t see him for a decade.

I won’t risk that again.” I’m honest with Kellan, and I can see the understanding in his eyes, but I can also see that he’s about to call me out on my bullshit.

“You were kids, and he’d experienced something horrible.

” I never have and never will tell anyone about what actually happened to Remy.

And I don’t even know the full extent, I’m pretty sure and may never know, not that I need all the details, but that doesn’t mean Kellan doesn’t know something bad happened.

“This isn’t that.” He stands up, and I hate that he doesn’t look away from me.

He holds my gaze and makes me pay attention. “This is love, and it’s a good thing.”

“You’re sappy as shit,” I say, but there’s no real animosity behind it.

He just laughs and squeezes my shoulder. “Well, I’m still happy for you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow, you know?

Just because you and your man had to do the instant family thing two seconds into meeting doesn’t mean that’s for us.

” While I’m not trying to be a dick, I’m totally serious about that part.

Kellan and Phillip—they made sense. Every step of the way, I was supportive of it because I knew it was what was right for them.

But with Remy, I know we need to take it slow.

I’m fine with a glacial pace as long as we can be together along the way.

I don’t need to say the words out loud to show him how much I love him.

I don’t need him to tell me he loves me as long as I can feel it.

And I do feel it. I feel everything when I’m with Remy.

“True. No one is nearly as awesome as we are,” Kellan singsongs, and again, I flip him off just as Braylen comes running down the hall to bust me for flipping his brother off.

We’re all going to his school music program tonight, and Remy is meeting us there, going as my date. Before I know it, the house is full of people buzzing around and trying to get dressed and out the door.

We’re almost late to the school because someone kept leaving one thing or another behind. But when I’m finally walking up to the school, I’m all smiles when I see Remy outside the front door, waiting.

I don’t waste any time, pulling him into me for a quick kiss, hearing, “Gross,” and “That’s my principal, man,” from Raegan and Cason and a giggle from Braylen, but I pay them no mind as we walk into the school.

My hand remains in Remy’s as we find our seats, saving Kellan a spot while he walks Braylen to meet with his class.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Remy says with a sweet smile.

“Thank you for coming with.”

“God, there’s two annoying as shit couples now,” Cason grumbles from next to me, which makes Remy snicker.

“Careful, or I’ll show up to your football game and make out with him in the stands,” I threaten.

Remy elbows me playfully. “I’m the principal at the school. Pretty sure I can’t be doing that.”

“He doesn’t know that,” I tease.

Remy snickers again, and I hold his hand in mine.

Kellan joins us, and the kids come out onto the stage.

My life has changed drastically in the past year or so.

I never thought I’d be sitting in the audience at a grade school choir performance as I watch kids dance and sing, waving their little hands excitedly.

But I watch Remy just as much, and what I see is pure joy on his face. And I lose another piece of my heart to this sweet man.

“Do you want kids?” I ask, lying in his bed, both of us totally naked from our earlier grinding session. Cum cools on our bodies as our hands remain entwined.

We’re both lying on our backs, his head on my shoulder, but when I ask the question, he turns his head toward me and angles it upward to gaze at me in shock.

I tilt my head down enough to look at him. “I mean, if you don’t, it’s okay with me. And I don’t mean like right now. I’m just making conversation.” Jesus, Tatum. When the hell did I become this bumbling, uncool idiot? “I’m just curious.”

He chuckles, which eases some of the tension between us. “I don’t know.” I nod, accepting that answer and thinking it’s over when he rolls to his side and props his elbow up, his head on his hand. “Do you?”

I look up at his ceiling thoughtfully. “I don’t know either. It’s not something I ever really thought about.”

“But you are now . . .” he says carefully.

“Maybe.” I roll to my side, mirroring his position so I can look right at him. “Tonight was fun.”

He smiles warmly. “It was. Those kids are awfully cute.”

“They were very cute. And actually pretty good. There’s no way I could remember all that choreography while remembering the lyrics at the same time like that.”

I can’t help staring into his eyes as he watches me. His hair is slightly damp from sweat, and I push it back with my fingers, looking at his plump lips. “The world scares me, Tatum. I don’t know if I could bring kids into it. What if I turned out to be like my mother?”

I instantly reject that as being impossible, but I do understand his feelings.

They’re valid. When you come from shitty parents, it’s natural to worry about becoming a shitty parent yourself.

“Remy,” I say quietly, brushing my lips over his because I can’t resist. “I’ve never met a better human being in my entire life.

There’s no doubt in my mind that you’d be an excellent father and nothing like your parents, if you did decide to have kids. ”

His mouth seeks mine, deepening the kiss a little, not letting me get by with the quick brush of my mouth on his.

His hand goes into my hair as his lips move over mine, his tongue sweeping into my mouth and ratcheting up my need for him, despite having only come moments ago.

I roll his body under mine and kiss him hard as I feel his dick respond, mine rapidly filling as well.

The hand in my hair tightens, and he uses it to pull my head back so he can look up at me. “You know you’re incredible too, right, Tatum? I think you’d be an excellent father.”

“I think as long as you’re there with me, I can do anything.”

He offers a sweet smile and then pulls me back down to his mouth. I get lost in feeling him beneath me, our conversation momentarily forgotten. I want so many things at once.

I want to kiss him everywhere and touch him everywhere. I want him inside me and to be inside him. I want to watch him unravel, but I also never want this to be over.

He reaches between us, wrapping his hand around both our hard cocks, using our previous releases and the copious amount of pre-cum we’re both already dripping to slick his sure strokes.

I kiss him hard, devouring his mouth, wanting to stay there forever. My tongue strokes over his before he starts to suck on my tongue, making me moan and thrust into the tight grip of his hand.

Soon we’re just rutting against each other, breathing heavily against each other’s mouths because we can’t even focus on kissing properly. It’s hungry and feral as we race toward the finish.

His back bows off the bed as his slick cock slides against mine. My eyes slam shut, and I cry out as cum spurts from my dick. Moments later, I hear Remy’s sweet cry of passion, his cum joining mine.

When it becomes too much for both of us, he releases our spent shafts, but his hand moves to my chest, over my heart, and we just lie there together.

Wrapped up in each other.

Where we were always meant to be.