Page 24 of Only Mr Darcy (Obstinate, Headstrong Girl #1)
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I t took some time for Elizabeth find a moment to speak with Jane—but it was important that she do so quickly. Now that she had been awakened to Jane’s love, she was also finally conscious of Jane’s sense of guilt, so obvious now in every look, in how often she drew away from Mr Bingley. He always followed. At last Elizabeth had her chance as they made their way to a retiring room for a brief respite.
“Jane, I have been stupid. You must forgive me.”
Her sister glanced at her curiously. “What can you mean, Lizzy? I am quite sure you have done nothing requiring forgiveness.”
“I speak of you and Mr Bingley. Together. His feelings for you are unmistakeable. You must agree to marry Mr Bingley if—no, when he asks.”
Jane abruptly halted, turning to stare at her younger sister—her expression the picture of distress. “No! I have not…I swear, I did not encourage him?—”
“There was no need for encouragement,” Elizabeth interrupted. “I have never seen a more promising match than yours with him. You were formed for each other, and you must be certain that he discovers the depth of your feelings.”
“But…” Jane swallowed. “But what of Grandmama’s words?”
Elizabeth placed her hand upon her sister’s. “You were in the room, too. We assumed that she spoke to me, because I was the one who asked her the question and begged for an answer. However, when did Grandmama Gardiner ever do anything we wanted her to do, simply because we wanted her to do it?”
At this, Jane gave a little laugh that turned into a half a sob. “She was the most contrary woman alive. But what of your own feelings? You have been waiting for a Charles for so long.”
“I have no feelings of regard for your Charles, beyond a sisterly fondness. I have learnt one cannot force such sentiments, no matter how hard one tries.”
“Do you think…is it possible?”
“Absolutely. However, you must own that, thanks to me, you have not been obvious in your affection. I can see it, because I know you; the neighbours see it, because Mr Bingley has been obvious in his, and there is not a reason in the world you should refuse it. But Mr Bingley himself will not have seen enough to be sure of your feelings. Please, Jane, make him sure.”
“I would not like to be thought forward.”
“You will never be too forward, but you must give him hope. Promise me you will take the risk. It is worth the prize.”
Jane gazed at her for a long moment. “Are you certain of this, dear sister? He is the easiest man in the world to love.”
How like Jane, to be willing to sacrifice her most sacred feelings for Elizabeth’s happiness. “That is why you are perfect for him. No woman in the world is easier to love than you. Of this, I am sure.”
Elizabeth floated through the rest of the evening. Part of her happiness was abject relief from the burden of any pretence towards Mr Bingley. As half-hearted as her efforts to engage him had been, her conscience was finally shut of that scolding voice, constantly reminding her that she ought to try harder…or at all. Part was the acknowledgement of her own feelings for Darcy. Nothing was fixed between them, of course—but what else mattered when one was honestly, truly, newly in love? Mama’s light-mindedness, Mr Collins’s too-eagerly offered introductions, Lydia and Kitty’s giddy flirtations, her father’s refusal to do anything about any of it—these were minor irritations. She eagerly confessed to Charlotte that she had changed her mind about feeling anything for Mr Bingley, and that everyone could see he was in love with Jane, and Jane with him. Charlotte accepted her abrupt about-face with unquestioning relief and encouragement—that Elizabeth did not need—towards Darcy.
She had discovered that she did not wish to dance with any other, and avoided offers by wandering around the ballroom and conversing with her neighbours and friends. Darcy did not return to the dance floor either. Mr Bingley asked Jane for the supper set, however—their second dance of the evening, causing speculation about the possibility of an upcoming betrothal to flourish.
It ought to have hurt a little, that Darcy was unready for any such conjecture. An hour ago, however, he thought I wanted Mr Bingley. Neither do I expect him to propose marriage tomorrow. My hopes are centred in coming to know him better, and whether he takes the time to know me . Their assignation at the river, in her mind, meant he wished to try, and he was too upright a man to lead her astray. The idea of it made her nearly as giddy as her two youngest sisters.
One incident marred the happy haze.
She was speaking to Mrs Long and one of her nieces, Miss Clara Hooper, just a little way from the open door of the cardroom, when she overheard the unmistakeable—and shrill—tones of her mother. “Mr Bennet! You must indeed come and dance with me!”
“It is more than I engage for, I assure you,” she heard her father reply.
What followed was her mother’s tirade upon her sufferings, in tones guaranteed to interrupt any card game in progress, and then her father’s sarcastic replies.
Elizabeth glanced around the cardroom’s interior, only to see Darcy, seated at a nearby table, staring at her mother with an expression on his face that looked like something between astonishment and revulsion.
“You do not know what I suffer!” said Mrs Bennet resentfully.
“But I hope you will get over it. Hint to old Goulding, here, that your smiles are to be had for the length of a set. He has always cherished them.”
“Nonsense, nonsense! How can you be so teasing?”
Mr Bennet indulged his unique sense of humour for a few more minutes before finally declaring that his wife ought to return to the dancing.
“I am sick of dancing!” she cried.
“I am sorry to hear that , but why did you not tell me so before I surrendered my hand?” He threw his cards upon the table with an apologetic nod to his friends.
“I knew I should persuade you at last,” she declared joyfully, and not at all as if she had humiliated herself for the sake of a few minutes of her husband’s attention.
Miss Hooper tittered. Mrs Long looked as if she wanted to. Elizabeth was mortified. Her parents left the room arm in arm to join a set already in progress. Darcy looked away.