Page 19 of Only Lovers in the Building

The reason to avoid getting romantically involved with a neighbor was obvious: privacy. The universal right to privacy was

the backbone of human dignity. How unnerving to open your door in your bathrobe to collect packages, only to encounter your

crush out in the hall, looking handsome and smelling wonderful, on his way to work. How devastating to return home with bags

full of groceries and run into him stepping out for the evening, unencumbered, ready to lend a hand. To avoid any of these

scenarios, Lily pressed her ear to her door before leaving her apartment. A limited strategy—the elevators, open areas, and

lobby were fair game. How long could this go on?

A few days had passed since the Bella incident. Lily had not returned to Ben’s place, not for coffee, not to borrow sugar

or return a book, not for anything. He’d stayed away, as well, respecting her request for space when they parted ways after

retrieving her key at the bookstore. There was such a thing as too much space. The gulf between two people could widen to

such a degree that they never find their way back to one another.

On Thursday evening, Lily’s trained ear picked up the faint ding of the elevator down the hall, the familiar cadence of his footsteps, the jingle of his keys—then nothing.

Pure silence. Lily had made herself a cup of tea, preparing to read in bed.

She held the mug tightly, burning her fingertips.

She knew without knowing exactly what was going on out there: Ben was staring at her closed door, fighting the impulse to knock as she fought a similar impulse to throw open the door.

In the end, common sense won out. He entered his apartment. She climbed into bed and called it a night until...

BookTap Direct Messages

@BenRomero → @LegalLyon

12:36 a.m.

br: The first sentence is an insult to my intelligence.

LL: Ha!

br: Lily? What are you doing up?

LL: You messaged me!

br: For you to read in the morning. I didn’t expect you to be up.

LL: Technically, it’s morning.

br: Did I wake you?

LL: No. I’m reading in bed.

br: May I join you? Virtually?

LL: All right. Okay. Sure.

Although she’d consented to it, when the phone buzzed with the video call, Lily froze.

One ring. Two. Heart racing, she sat up, ripped the silk tie out of her hair and straightened her pajama top.

Her face was slick with layers of moisturizing serums, but it was too late to do anything about it now.

She tapped on the icon of the videocam, and Ben instantly filled the tiny screen.

He was at his desk and wearing his glasses.

Her smaller reflection, framed in a box at the bottom left of the screen, showed that she was wearing forgotten undereye patches.

“Oh God!” Lily cried and ripped them off.

“Don’t do that on my account,” he said. “It’s cute.”

“Fat chance,” she replied, the patches already curling onto themselves on her nightstand. “I’ll battle my dark circles in

private.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “Hi there, pretty.”

Lily saw herself blushing in real time. “Hi.”

“I’ve missed you.”

“Me, too,” she admitted.

“Let’s not do that again.”

“Never,” she said. “I’d like very much for us to stay friends.”

All week, she’d thought of the men she’d dated and discarded, some whose names she could not remember, and wondered why she’d

been so eager to add another log to that bonfire. Flings were fleeting, but true friendship could last a lifetime.

“Me, too,” he said.

“Good.”

“I just got around to starting Spring Fever ,” he said, steering them back to familiar territory. “Work was more hectic than expected.”

“What’s so wrong with the first sentence that you felt the need to DM me in the middle of the night?”

“You don’t remember it, do you?”

“The first line? Ben, I’m on chapter thirty-five. I’m nearly done.”

“A first line should be memorable,” he insisted.

“Not everyone is Charles Dickens!” Lily protested. “It can’t always be the best and worst of times.”

“Read it again and tell me what you think.”

Lily picked up the paperback and flipped to the first chapter. “That spring day, the frosty air did not keep my soul from catching fire , ” she read. “Perfectly fine. What’s your objection?”

“It should be obvious,” he said. “Souls don’t catch fire.”

“You’d have to have one to know for sure, wouldn’t you?”

“Are you implying that I’m soulless? How did you figure that out, and so soon?”

Those dark, soulful eyes made a liar out of him. With some effort, she focused on the words on the page. “It’s not exceptional,

but it does the job. We know it’s spring, for one thing.”

“Spring has sprung,” he said agreeably.

“It gets the ball rolling. Something’s ignited a fire in our main character.”

“Could it be last night’s takeout?” he asked.

With a laugh, Lily tossed the book aside. “It’s not love! It’s heartburn!”

“There’s that laugh I missed,” he said. “It’s like wind chimes.”

The wind must have settled because they both fell quiet.

“We should talk,” he said softly.

“No, we shouldn’t.”

We should talk was the most dreadful of first lines. Nothing good would stem from it.

“I want to explain what happened with Bella and apologize properly.”

“Not tonight.”

“Tomorrow?” he suggested.

“Not tomorrow, either.”

“When?”

“We don’t have to talk, and you don’t have to apologize,” she said. “It’s summer! Let’s forget it ever happened.”

“It’s summer yearlong here,” he said, suggesting there was no point squirreling away tough talks for the winter.

“I don’t live here, do I? Your logic doesn’t apply,” Lily said.

“I give up.”

Ben ran a palm down his face, looking suddenly weary. He’d had a tough week. Good thing the weekend was ahead.

“When can we meet for book club?” she asked.

“Tomorrow morning, if you’re free.”

“Like a bird.”

“See you tomorrow, little bird,” he said. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

In the morning, a bold sun greeted them, and their lounge chairs sat empty by the pool. Lily and Ben eased into their roles

as if nothing had happened. It was time to get back to scheduled programming. They stretched out to read for a bit. Lily finished

Spring Fever and Ben put a dent in it. After a swim, they gathered their things and headed inside for breakfast.

In the elevator, riding to their floor, he reached for her hand, linking a finger around hers. This was the proper apology

and a silent reassurance that they were okay. Lily swayed with relief. To think they could have lost this.

Ben let her into his apartment, and that marked the end of their quiet, cozy morning. Roxanna greeted them at the door, stern-faced,

as if they were teens breaking curfew. She wore a floral dress, and her dark hair was gathered in a loose ponytail. Lily had

only ever seen her in the T-shirt and jeans she wore to work at the bar.

“Finally!” Roxanna cried. “I’ve been waiting forever.”

“I didn’t know you were stopping by,” Ben said.

“I texted an hour ago!”

“I was reading with Lily. We silenced our phones.”

It was déjà vu, except with his cousin. The women in Ben’s life were the bold sort.

Roxanna turned to Lily with a knowing little smirk. “What are you two reading?”

“Spring Fever,” Lily answered.

“Funny. This looks like Summer Love to me.”

“Quit it,” Ben warned.

“We’re just friends,” Lily said.

Roxanna raised her hands. “It’s none of my business!”

“It isn’t,” Ben said. “In the future, please remember that.”

“I should go,” Lily said, hovering at the entryway. She didn’t want to intrude.

“Go where?” Ben asked.

“Across the hall.”

“Don’t go.” He relieved her of her soggy tote bag. “I’m making us breakfast.”

“If you leave, he’ll never forgive me,” Roxanna added.

“I still don’t know why you’re here so early,” Ben mumbled, heading into the kitchen.

“I’ve got the day off, and I’ve got some news.”

“What’s the news?” Ben rummaged through the fridge and produced eggs and butter. “Did Oscar say his first word? Is it Benito ? I’ve been coaching him.”

“It’s not about Oscar.”

“It better not be about Slick Rick.”

“It is about Ricky. We’re getting married.”

“No!” Ben dropped the word in Spanish.

Roxanna raised her brows in surprise. “I’m not asking for your permission.”

Lily took a seat at the breakfast bar, no longer concerned about intruding. They’d roped her in, and she was fully invested.

Who was this Slick Rick person, and why would Ben react this way? Not everyone was cut out for marriage. What if he was abusive,

or miserly, or lazy, or one of those undecided voters who pissed everyone off come election time?

“I’m sorry, but I’m not cosigning this,” Ben said.

“No one is asking you to, asshole!” Roxanna retorted. “But you’ll have to walk me down the aisle, like you promised. There’s no getting out of it.”

“Oh, fuck that!” Ben scoffed.

“No, fuck you !” Roxanna fired back. She collected her things off the couch and marched to the door. “The wedding will be sometime this

summer. We haven’t pinned down a date, but the sooner, the better. That means you won’t have long to get your head out of

your ass.”

Roxanna left, slamming the door behind her.

“Ben!” Lily cried. She had never thought him rude. Regardless of how he felt about this wedding, whether he liked Ricky or

not, the only thing to do was congratulate his cousin and support her choices.

“Lily,” he said, weary, “there’s a lot of history you know nothing about.”

Now wasn’t the time for a history lesson. “Go and get her! You have to apologize!”

As if on cue, the door swung open. Roxanna, who likely hadn’t gone far, strode back in. “Yeah!” she shouted. “Apologize!”

“I’m sorry you think marrying that guy is a good idea,” Ben said smoothly.

Lily could hit him over the head with this prized moka pot.

“What kind of bullshit apology is that?” Roxanna demanded.

Ben shrugged. “I’m being honest. You don’t have to do this.”

“My son deserves to grow up in a two-parent home. I shouldn’t have to rely on my cousins to step in as father figures.”

“We don’t mind,” Ben said.

“I know you don’t, but Oscar deserves more.”

Lily fit the puzzle pieces together. Ricky was the father of Roxanna’s child.

He’d likely been MIA for a while. A team of cousins had filled in as best they could.

Ben picked up shifts at the bar so Roxanna could spend more nights at home.

He would have gone on doing so without complaint. For Roxanna, though, it wasn’t enough.

“Do you remember what he did to you?” Ben asked.

“Yes, of course. But he’s changed. He’s not that person anymore.”

Change. They’d been back and forth with this one issue. Both Ben and Lily were trying to change. Roxanna was betting her and

her child’s future on the hope that a partner had changed. These were high-wire acts that should only be attempted by professionals.

“Could you be happy for us?” Roxanna implored him.

Lily looked to one then the other, wondering what Ricky could have done that was so awful that Ben, the man with such keen

insight into the complexities of the human psyche, could not forgive or forget. Yet it broke her heart to see Roxanna, seemingly

so confident, so self-possessed, crack open like this. It showed how much his approval mattered to her. The swelling tension

in the room suddenly deflated when Ben pulled his cousin to his chest. The very strong, very proud Roxanna buried her face

in his shoulder and let herself go. These cousins, as close as siblings, had navigated life together. Ben couldn’t abandon

her now.

“I just want you to be happy, Rox,” Ben whispered. “I know you think Oscar needs his dad, but I promise you, he’ll be fine

either way.”

Roxanna snorted. “Says the guy with his dad’s ashes under his bed.”

Lily gasped. Which bed? Certainly not the one they’d slept in the other night?

Ben abandoned his cousin to reassure Lily. “Don’t listen to her.”

Lily moved to peek under the bed. Her motto was When in Doubt, Trust Women. Ben grabbed her by the arm and stopped her. “There’s nothing there,” he promised. “My father’s ashes are scattered off the coast of Key West like he wanted.”

“Okay,” Roxanna said. “But what’s in that box?”

Lily followed Roxanna’s pointed gaze to the bookcase. A worn leather box the color of tobacco sat between the PS5 and a collection

of vintage police procedurals.

“Papers,” Ben said flatly.

That small box grew large in their collective imaginations, taking up space, until Ben cleared his throat and said, “I’m making

coffee.”

Roxanna collapsed on the couch and invited Lily to join her. “Poor thing. You must be so confused. This is what you get for

hooking up with Ben.”

“Ben and I are just friends,” Lily repeated, stupidly.

“If we hook up, we’ll send out a press release. Okay?” Ben called out. “For now, we’re friends.”

“Ricky was my friend until I got pregnant.”

“Tell her the whole story,” Ben said from the kitchen. “Tell her how he abandoned you.”

“He didn’t abandon me!”

“What do you call what he did?” Ben asked.

Roxanna pleaded her case to Lily. “It’s not as dramatic as all of that. Ricky and I were on-and-off for years. It was a situationship,

at best. Then I got pregnant. We decided to lock it down, raise the kid, start a family. It was going to be simple, just a

trip to city hall.”

“Don’t stop there,” Ben said. “Tell her everything.”

“He never showed.”

“He abandoned you at the altar?!” Lily cried.

“Not on the wedding day,” Roxanna said quickly. “The week before. We’d planned to meet at the courthouse to apply for the

marriage license.”

Lily shook her head. As if that minute point made any difference.

“Keep talking,” Ben said.

“He got overwhelmed,” Roxanna said in her man’s defense. “Everything was happening so fast. We hadn’t thought it through.”

From the kitchen island, Ben caught Lily’s eye and, without uttering a word, asked if she’d heard the ringing desperation

in Roxanna’s voice. The short answer was yes . Loud and clear.

“Things are different now,” Roxanna continued. “You’ll have to trust us.”

“I trust you with my life, Rox,” Ben said.

The implication was obvious. He would never trust Ricky again.

When the coffee was ready, they all gathered around the kitchen island. Roxanna stirred sugar into her dark espresso. “Do

you still have that thing tomorrow night?” she asked Ben.

He nodded, though his expression was inscrutable.

Lily had no idea what that thing might be and no clue why Ben had seemingly retreated into himself. That was the thing with

him, she realized. He was the great unknown, a continent on the horizon that she would never reach. Lily felt the ring of

desperation in her hollow chest. She did not have Roxanna’s blind faith. People simply didn’t change all that much, including

herself.