Page 139 of Only for Him

I’ve never felt so powerful, or so powerless.

And then my phone buzzes on the dresser.

I’m almost glad for the distraction, something to do with my brain besides ruminate. I expect another message from Ida.

It’s Arata.

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!

We need to talk about the special evidence you gave me. It’s important.

The world slides sideways, my stomach twists, I can’t breathe, my hands shake so badly I almost drop the phone.

This can’t be happening!

You always knew it would happen.

I can’t deal with this!

You’ve pictured this moment a thousand times.

Maybe he doesn’t know?

He knows.

I force a breath. I need to decide what to do. Do I ignore him? Pretend I changed my number?New phone, who’s this?If I close my eyes and plug my ears and sing a happy song, will it all go the fuck away?

No. I need to know what he knows so I can find my way out.

I think about Roman, wherever he is now. Maybe sleeping, like I should be. Maybe dreaming of me and the world burning around us. Of a prison he’s already survived once, and shouldn’t have to survive again.

Predatl.Traitor.

If he bugged my phone…Shit.My brain starts cycling through lies and excuses, but I can’t make any decisions about what happens next until I know exactly how far it’s spiraled out of my control. Swallowing, I tap out a reply.

Outside, the sky is bleeding from black to gray.

34

ROMAN

“Roman.”

Every night, a piece of me drifts farther from the mission and thought of her are pulling me down like a hook.

“Roman?”

If I close my eyes, I can still feel her sweet pussy clenching around my cock, see the bloodthirsty way she licks her lips when she leans over some pitiful bastard.

That’s when she’s prettiest, even more than when she’s cross-eyed with pleasure, grinding on top of me like she’s trying to overdose on the high I give her.

“Roman!”

Rosa’s voice cuts through the air, snapping me back to the moment. She’s leaning against the doorframe, eyes wary.

“Romochka, we’re having a conversation here,” she says. “Keep your head up her ass too long, you might forget what the real world smells like.”

“Don’t.” I raise a hand. “You don’t get to lecture me.”