Page 14 of Only Ever Yours

Chapter Thirteen

Jase

At last, some fucking peace.

And some time to think.

The past couple of days in Hollis’s company had been…everything. Not to mention an absolute mind-fuck.

I dropped down onto my bed and kicked back, hands laced behind my head, feet crossed at the ankles. Two days of driving had taken it out of me, who was more used to doing shorter, more direct journeys around town.

Not to mention two days spent falling even harder for a woman I couldn’t have.

Usually, if I had woman trouble, I would confide in Finn. Given I was fantasising about his sister, he was the last person I could go to for advice, unless I wanted him to punch me.

After the past forty-eight hours, I couldn’t deny she was the woman I wanted.

No number of hook-ups with Felicity or short-term relationships came close to how I felt about Hollis.

Waking up with her in my arms this morning had definitely been a trigger for the rock-solid hard-on.

What Hollis didn’t know was that I was awake all the time she had been snuggled in before escaping to the bathroom.

It had taken me all of my self-control not to act on my feelings.

I blew out a breath. Lying here wasn’t going to fix anything.

I pushed myself up off the bed and headed for the bathroom.

Stripping off my clothes, I stepped into the shower and turned it on, hoping the warm jets would have a relaxing effect.

My hand gripped my shaft, palming up and down, desperate for release.

Thoughts of Hollis had forced me down this path, and it wasn’t one I was proud of.

Conflicted feelings over her raced through my head as I brought myself towards the peak.

She’s Finn’s sister. But I’m not seeing her like that anymore. She’s fucking beautiful inside and out.

She always has been. Caring, loving, ambitious—did I mention gorgeous?

She’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

At one point during the night, I woke and turned to watch Hollis as she slept.

Her top had fallen to one side, exposing the gentle curve of her breasts, and I’d had to ball my hands into fists to stop me from reaching over and stroking the smooth skin there.

If I had, I was sure she would have woken up and slapped me.

Revisiting the image was enough to tip me over the edge, and I came with a strangled grunt.

I slumped back against the cool, white tiles of the shower and let my head fall back, the jets splashing down on my body.

It had been a long time since I’d rubbed one out for a fantasy like that.

Squeezing a little shower gel into my already sticky palms, I lathered up and cleaned myself off.

Instead of coming out of the shower all refreshed, I was more frustrated than when I’d gone in despite jerking off.

I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed back to my bedroom, pausing outside Hollis’s door, listening to see if she was there.

I raised a hand to knock. Even if she was there, what would I say?

Could I tell her I had stronger feelings for her than just being my best friend’s sister?

And what if she laughed in my face? We still had to live together, after all.

Dropping my hand back to my side, I went to my room, pulled on a pair of boxers, and tried to sleep.

An hour of tossing and turning with racing thoughts wasn’t exactly conducive to falling asleep. After a while, I decided to get up. Maybe a glass of water would help. And late-night, mindless television to numb my mind. I didn’t bother to put on any other clothes and padded downstairs.

When I entered the kitchen, I saw Hollis standing at the sink, a glass in one hand, staring out at the garden.

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” I asked.

She started, water sloshing out of the top of the glass. “Shit, Jase. You scared me.” Turning to face me, she placed the glass on the side and dried her hand on a tea towel. “I thought you were Gil.”

“What would Gil be doing here?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Tracking my phone, that sort of thing.” Her tone was sarcastic, but I knew the truth behind it.

“He wouldn’t come here. Not with me and Finn around.” I stepped towards her, suddenly acutely aware all I wore was a snug pair of boxers that really didn’t leave anything to the imagination.

Hollis nodded absently, chewing on her bottom lip, although I could sense she didn’t really believe me. I wanted to pull her towards me and wrap my arms around her. The bloke had some really fucked-up ideas about what a relationship looked like. I was glad Hollis was far away from him .

“Can I do anything to help?” I asked at last.

“I shouldn’t really be laying all this on you, Jase.

It’s bad enough I turned up here out of the blue, and now, I’m back in your life.

” She hugged her arms around herself. Her own clothing wasn’t much better than mine: a cropped T-shirt that showed off her flat stomach, and a pair of sleep shorts with ruffles around the edges that stopped shy of exposing her arse.

I swallowed, trying not to notice how hard her nipples were poking through the material of her top.

“You’ve never really been out of my life.”

She shrugged, the tiniest smile crossing her features. “I know. But I left to be a high-flyer.” She put air quotes around the last two words, and I dragged my gaze upwards to her face. “Finn took everything on here, and I didn’t give it a second thought until recently.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Finn knows you care about this place, and the businesses. You wouldn’t have agreed to be a part of it otherwise.”

Her shoulders sank. “I guess. Doesn’t make me feel any less guilty, though.”

“Is that what’s keeping you awake?”

Hollis turned back to the sink and refilled her glass. “Maybe I could try going back to bed.”

“I’m here for you, you know that, don’t you?” I offered. “If you need to talk about what happened with Gil.”

She sighed. “I’ve told you most of it anyway. Thanks, though, Jase. It’s good to know you’re there.”

The air of sadness and vulnerability surrounding Hollis made me want to take her in my arms and hold her tight.

It couldn’t have been an easy time for her, with everything she’d been through with Gil, taking the decision to walk away from a life in the big city and returning to the small town she’d grown up in.

Hell, even moving back to the family house must have been hard.

When she went to leave the room, her face was streaked with tears.

“Hollis…” In a moment, I’d closed the distance between us, taken the glass from her, and fulfilled the thought I’d had.

She snuggled into my chest, her shoulders heaving as she let out all the emotion and stress of the day, maybe even weeks.

I stroked her hair as she sobbed, wetness coating my bare chest. The closeness of her body, the feel of her skin against mine all conspired against me, and I felt the beginnings of an erection.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

This can’t happen.

Frantically, I tried to turn my mind to other banal things, trying to name the whole of the latest England World Cup squad, going through as many of the MotoGP circuits as I could remember—who all the members of the Sugababes had been.

Before things got too hard—literally—Hollis pulled away, swiping at her face. “Oh, God, Jase. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Dropping my hands down to my crotch, hoping to cover any evidence of my arousal, I tried to shrug it off. “Don’t mention it. The last couple of days have been eventful to say the least. If you hadn’t gotten upset, I’d have been more worried.”

“I think I need to get a good night’s sleep.” She reached out and touched my arm. “Thank you for everything. You don’t know how much it means.” Standing on tiptoes, she reached up and brushed her lips against my cheek. “Night, Jase.”

Once Hollis had left the kitchen, I hefted out a breath, giving myself a moment before heading upstairs. I got into bed and pulled the duvet over me, reaching for my phone.

Felicity

Hey, babe. What are you up to? You wanna come over? xxx

No, Felicity, I don’t.

My finger hovered over her number, ready to delete it this time.

I hesitated because it could be one way to rid myself of the inappropriate thoughts I’d been having about Hollis.

However, it would feel like a betrayal of sorts.

After everything that had gone on between us the past couple of days, I didn’t want to risk the closeness we were developing.

It could never come to anything. I was reminded of how Finn had reacted when Neil had stepped over that line all those years ago.

Hollis was my best friend’s little sister.

And of all the women, why did I have to want the one I couldn’t have?