Page 30 of Only ever you-Ana & Byron (Blindsided #2)

B yron sat back, his chest heaving like he had just finished a particularly difficult match.

His jaw was tight; one hand curled into a fist on the arm of the sofa. Ana watched him as her hair slipped out of the messy bun.

Byron had his bright hazel eyes on Ana while she was speaking, but now he was looking down at his hands.

Ana couldn't sit still. She felt like her life depended on what he would say over the next few minutes. It felt like hours, though it couldn't have been more than five minutes.

He suddenly stood and started pacing, hands locked behind his head, still not looking at her.

After another 5 minutes, he stopped and plonked himself down across from her, deliberately not next to her.

Ana felt her heart sink, like this was the beginning of the end.

His intent unblinking gaze pierced her. In spite of the chill in the air, a bead of sweat trickled down her spine.

When he didn't speak, she couldn't keep it in any longer .

"Say something, Byron," she pleaded in a whisper.

He looked up at last. When he spoke, there was such fury in his voice that Ana wanted to run... again

"Why, eh? You didn't say what you needed to tell me for almost FIVE FUCKIN' YEARS and I can't even have a proper go at you 'til we're outta t'woods."

Ana flinched, then realised he said "we," not "you". Still WE, not YOU. She tried to speak. "I know I was wrong"

"Oh, you bloody well were!"

He cut her off with a sharp edge. "You don't know what I've been thinkin', keepin' it all to myself.

She still don't trust me... I'm not smart enough.

.. Why don't she wanna have kids?... Does she just not wanna have 'em with me?

... Why don't she wanna tell everyone we're together.

..Is she ashamed o' me?...I don't think I've ever second guessed myself like I have over the last few years.

.. but that's not t'point. You could've died.

Died. Am I right? And you still kept goin' on these missions. "

Ana's voice trembled, "It was supposed to be a peaceful meeting-I didn't think..."

"You didn't think it'd turn into something like Black Hawk Down, eh? And why wouldn't you tell me? Or Cadi? Or yer dad, did they know, just not me?"

"No," Ana whispered. "I just... I just knew you and Cadi and Gray would push me to do the op, and you'd have been right.

I couldn't imagine being paralysed, not being able to be with you like I wanted to be, not being able to walk on the street or run or play with Tomos-being chained to a bed, breathing through a tube. .. that's like death to me."

Byron's anger softened. "I'd've respected yer decision, Ana. Just like you should have respected my right to be with you while you made that decision. You did not have the right to take that from me. "

"I know," she choked out. "I was just terrified, and you've every right to hate me. You are wrong, Byron, I do trust you. I was a coward... not to tell you"

He fell silent, contemplative, eyes on his fingernails. Then in a softer voice, "So ya spoke to t'doctor in Walton?"

"Yes," Ana nodded. "I have an appointment next week."

"I wanna come," Byron said, voice low. "And I reckon we should take Gray or Cadi."

Ana whispered, "Okay."

Byron cocked a brow. "No arguin'?"

"Okay," she smiled faintly. "We listen to them and do what is best."

Then her voice quavered. "What if... what if I end up...?"

Byron cut in firmly, "Nah, it won't happen. I won't let it."

He reached for her hand. "Do you love me, Ana?"

"You know I do," she replied, voice steadier.

"I wasn't sure with the way you were... closed off," he admitted wryly.

"I love you so much," she said in a hoarse voice that shook, " I just didn't want to be a burden."

"And you want this baby, yeah?"

"Yes," Ana breathed, "So badly."

"We'll need to make sure it's safe fer you," Byron cautioned, his accent seeping through, "Promise me ye won't risk yerself. If the doctor says it is too risky..."

Ana muttered, "Alright," as tears streamed down in steady rivulets. She wiped her eyes and nose with her sleeve-she wasn't a pretty crier. When she cried, it was rare, and she bawled like someone was beating her. Her eyes were swollen and her nose red, like a clown'

She heard Byron click his tongue. Then his familiar weight settled beside her. Gently, like she was made of the finest china-he pulled her onto his lap. Her arms went around his neck and his around her waist. She cried against his neck, her shoulders shaking, chest heaving.

"Ana, you proper cry like a big baby," he teased, voice soft.

She lifted her head just enough to spit out, "Fuck you."

Byron let out a rumbling chuckle. "I'd love to... but dunno if we should risk all the bouncing!"

He pressed his lips to her temple. After a moment, he tilted his head back, a grin playing on his lips. "So...one of me swimmers made it, huh? Told you I needed extra-large, not medium king."

Ana blinked through her tears. She let out a startled laugh, the sound catching in her throat, and nestled against him.

Byron shifted, eyes dancing. "You look like you've been swallowed by a big pink Easter bunny."

She glanced down at her fluffy robe-bubblegum-pink, bunny ears drooping on the hood and those ridiculous matching slippers.

"Well... maybe a little?" she mumbled.

He leaned in conspiratorially. "Is this a new kink? 'Cause I'm game... only you'll need to keep perfectly still, what with your injury and all. Let me do all the work."

Ana rolled her eyes, half-smile tugging at her lips. "Byron, get your head out of the gutter. Here I am, worried-"

"Yeah, yeah," he cut in, winking. "Just sayin', A... I'm gonna put a ring on it. So, you hush and take it."

He gave a long serious look, "You know, you've used up all your free passes for fuckups in exchange for mine when we were kids."

Then he pretended to be thoughtful, "In fact, I think you owe me a few." He pulled her closer, forehead resting against hers.

Ana laughed outright this time at his audacity, burying her face in his chest. "Fine. But only if you promise to come to every scan in your boxer shorts. "

He laughed too, low and warm. "It's a deal, love."

In the warm glow of the dining room later in the day, her parents paused at the threshold, exchanging glances. Byron slowed beside her, hand on the small of her back. Her father offered a tight smile, her mother's eyes brimmed. They already knew something was wrong and were bracing themselves.

Ana turned and took a steadying breath. "Mom, Papa, there's something I need to tell you."

Byron dipped his head in encouragement. And as Ana began to speak, her voice clear, the four of them gathered close, the lake's whispering hush pressing against the windows like a witness to their truths and to the fragile, blooming peace between them.

***

"Promise me you won't blame me later, if things go sideways."

It was night, and they had decided to call it a day early. Her parents were going to stay until they knew what was going to happen. In the end, it was like a heavy burden had slipped off her shoulder now that everything was out in the open.

He kissed her forehead. "Ana, if things go sideways, we'll cross that bridge then. Right now, my only promise is this, you and our baby come first. Always."

She exhaled, letting his words settle into her chest like warm sunlight. He leaned forward, his lips brushing hers in a gentle kiss which was a poignant vow made in the hush of the dark.

When they finally pulled apart, Ana rested her head on his collarbone. "I love you," she whispered.

He kissed the top of her head. "I love you, too. And I love this baby already. How far along are we?"

"Around nine weeks. "

Outside, the sun sank lower, painting the lake in molten gold. Inside, they sat together in that glow, two broken hearts daring to hope they could mend and build something new, one step at a time.

***