Page 21 of One Week in Paradise

‘You look happy.’

I shrug as I pull a warm, golden dumpling out of the bowl and take a bite. ‘We’re in Jamaica. The weather’s great. What’s not to be happy about?’

Across the table from me, Bea and Meera share a pointed look. We’re having another girls breakfast morning, although Lacey is nowhere to be seen – thankfully – and Sara has joined the guys in the gym for a quick workout session.

I wonder if it’s true what they say and throw a subtle glance at the reflective surface of a nearby spoon to try and see if I’m sporting that so-called post-sex glow .

Can they tell that Cash and I spent our morning slowly but eagerly exploring each other’s bodies?

I don’t think so… But my cheeks are a little red.

Bea grabs a handful of grapes and pops them into her mouth. ‘You just look happy, that’s all,’ she says through a mouthful of grapes. ‘No need to get defensive.’

Meera nods. ‘Happy is good . Don’t forget that.’

It sounds ridiculous, but in a strange way, I think I need to hear it. It’s been so long since I was genuinely happy. I need to force myself to savour the feeling.

Who knows how long it’s going to last.

I’m acutely aware of the fact that Cash and I haven’t properly discussed the developments that have occurred in our relationship over the last twenty-four hours.

There’s a horrible voice niggling at the back of my mind, telling me that as soon as we land back in London, everything is going to go right back to normal.

The thought makes me feel sick.

In just a few days, Cash has managed to worm himself into the gaps in my life. And I want him to stay there.

A white mug filled with a dark red liquid slides across the table.

I look up. Cash, Marcus and Sara have returned from the gym. Cash slides into the seat next to me and nods at the mug.

‘Some tea,’ he says, accurately deciphering the curious expression that flits across my face. ‘Berry, right?’

Warmth floods through me, and it’s not just because of the sip of tea. ‘Perfect.’

I lean towards him, feeling oddly emboldened, and plant a quick kiss on his cheek. It’s the first time I’ve initiated anything remotely romantic in front of the others, but it feels right.

Nobody comments on it. I remember our first night at the resort, how I’d been so enraptured by how natural and effortless the other couples were with each other. Is that how we look now?

But we’re not a real couple.

The thought displeases me more than it should.

‘Where’re Lacey and Danny?’ Sara asks, helping herself to Meera’s stack of pancakes.

Lacey’s name makes me freeze momentarily. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cash throw me a look of concern. I give his thigh a squeeze under the table. I’m all right .

‘Not sure,’ says Meera with a shrug. ‘I did message her but got no response.’

‘Maybe they’ve gone on an early morning excursion?’ says Bea. ‘We’re doing one tomorrow. We’re up at the crack of dawn for a sunrise boat ride.’

Marcus groans. ‘Can we cancel? It’s way too early.’

‘It was your idea,’ Bea says, deadpan.

‘Nah. It was definitely your idea.’

We all laugh as Bea and Marcus fall into an easy back and forth, arguing good-naturedly about whose idea it was.

I like them together. They’re a good couple.

It’s easy to see where they both support and lift the other up.

You can tell they’ve been together long enough that there are no insecurities there anymore. They slot together like puzzle pieces.

Meera and Sara give off a similar energy, effortlessly bouncing off each other as the conversation pivots, and they share their plans for the day.

‘We’re going horseback riding,’ says Sara through a mouthful of pancake.

Meera slides her a glass of orange juice. ‘Sara used to ride as a child.’

‘But it’s been years since I’ve tried it,’ Sara finishes. She slides the glass back, and Meera takes a sip. ‘So we’ll see if I’ve still got it.’

‘What about you two?’ Meera asks. ‘Any plans?’

‘We’re heading off the resort,’ Cash says, grinning widely. ‘We’re going to check out the local town and spend the day down there.’

‘That’ll be nice,’ says Meera. ‘You should check with Penelope and see if she’s got any recommendations.’

‘Ooh, good idea,’ I say.

We finish up our breakfast and then say our farewells, promising to meet up for dinner later that evening. I take Meera’s advice and, on the way out of the resort, wave down Penelope.

‘We’re heading into town. Do you have any recommendations? Places we should check out? Any great restaurants?’

Penelope’s eyes light up. She makes me pull out my phone and open up the notes app, so I can hurriedly jot down all the shops and restaurants and cultural sites she recommends.

You can tell she really loves her job. There’s an earnest passion that comes through as she tells us all about Sean’s Fish Shack (‘You have to stop there and try the snapper!’) or Jeanie’s Juices (‘Head there for the best smoothie of your life!’) and tells us which taxi company to go with if we want to head a little further out to visit a nearby market for some handmade souvenirs.

‘Actually, are you sure you guys don’t want me to call you a car now?’ Penelope asks. ‘It’s about a twenty-minute walk into town from here.’

It’s still early enough that the sun isn’t at its peak, and the temperature is mild and pleasant. ‘I think we’ll walk,’ I say. ‘But thank you, Penelope, for all of this. You’ve been so helpful.’

‘It’s my pleasure. Give me a call if you need me.’

We promise that we will and then head off. As soon as we turn away from Penelope, Cash laces our fingers together.

I know such a small action shouldn’t make my heart race, but it does.

I wonder if his heart is also pumping at a hundred miles an hour right now.

He seems so relaxed, so chill , like this doesn’t bother him at all.

As if reaching for my hand and holding me close as we stroll down the dusty road is just second nature to him.

‘What’re you thinking?’

His quiet murmur startles me, and I peek up at him. He’s looking at me with all the intensity of the sun. Like I’m a riddle he can’t quite solve.

Why ?

The energy between us is so palpable. I can’t believe I’ve never noticed it before. Why is this the first time I’ve allowed myself to get close enough to Cash to feel like this? That horrible voice in the back of my mind returns.

This is just a holiday fling.

Once you’re home, he’ll never look your way again.

And worst of all…

You don’t deserve a love like this.

Ethan didn’t want you.

And soon, Cash won’t either.

‘Nothing,’ I say brightly, hoping Cash can’t see behind my forced smile. We turn a corner, and I can see the town start to crest over the horizon. ‘Ready to explore?’

Cash watches me intently, his grey-green eyes narrowing slightly. It’s obvious that he doesn’t buy it, but he allows me this mercy and doesn’t push the topic. Instead, he just shrugs, the intense expression gone from his face and replaced with an easy grin.

‘Let’s go.’

Cash has this fascinating ability to charm the pants off everyone we meet. He seems to pick up a new friend at every stall, shop and food truck we pass by.

It’s fun watching him talk to the locals, laughing and joking before they inevitably convince him to spend far too much on whatever they’re selling.

I don’t understand why it’s taken me so long to see this side of him. I feel cheated. I’ve missed out on years of this Cash in favour of moody silences and annoyed looks.

Whatever happens between us, I refuse to go back to that dynamic.

‘I hope you know you’re stuck with me now,’ I tell him. We’re wandering through the winding town, sipping on frozen fruit smoothies from Jeanie’s Juices. Penelope was right. They’re delicious.

Cash sips from his mango smoothie and quirks a brow. ‘Stuck?’

‘Yes, stuck. We’re friends for life now. It’s a fact. Tell Dane he’s got to share you from now on.’

His brows furrow a little bit in what looks like annoyance, but his expression smooths out so quickly I can’t be sure. ‘?“ Stuck ” makes it sound like a chore.’

‘How would you describe it?’

He pins me in place with a stare that sends heat rippling through me. It’s the same look he gave me this morning, and minutes later, my legs were draped over his shoulders. My thighs squeeze together involuntarily.

‘I don’t know, but I wouldn’t use stuck ,’ he says, a stubborn pout twisting his lips. ‘Here.’ He deftly changes the subject by holding his smoothie out to me. ‘Taste.’

I do as he says and can’t help the delighted moan that slips from my lips as the ice-cold burst of fruity flavour hits my tongue. ‘That’s delicious. Try mine.’

I hold my cup up for him to taste, but he bypasses me and instead presses his lips against mine. My mouth opens for him, and his tongue slips in without hesitation. His free hand reaches up to cup my jaw, deepening the kiss.

I don’t think I’ll ever tire of kissing Cash.

When he moves to pull away, I follow, not ready to end the kiss just yet.

He chuckles and rolls his shoulders back, bringing himself to his full height and out of reach from my lips. ‘Yours also tastes delicious.’

‘Unfair,’ I whisper, letting him lace our fingers together once more so we can continue our stroll. ‘I wasn’t finished.’

‘The day’s not over.’

A loud whistle makes us both jump.

‘Now that’s romance!’ A cheerful-looking woman sitting behind a makeshift stall hoots at us. There are bundles of colourful flowers set out in front of her. ‘Come and finish the job and buy your pretty girlfriend a pretty flower.’

‘Oh, we’re no—’

Before I can protest, Cash crosses the short distance between the woman and us and plucks a bundle off the stand.

He says something to the woman that I can’t quite hear.

Whatever it is, it makes her smile and glance over at me.

She gives Cash an enthusiastic nod and grins widely at me. ‘You’re a lucky lady.’

Cash walks back to me, an array of colourful flowers in his hands, and I can’t help but agree.

He hands me the bouquet with a grin. ‘For my lady.’

I give them a tentative sniff. ‘ Your lady, huh?’

He shrugs. ‘If you’ll have me.’

A lump forms in my throat. I grip the stems of the flowers tightly. ‘Do you want me?’

He licks his lips. ‘I think you know what I want, Bailey.’

I look up at him through my eyelashes and smirk. Memories of our morning spent together beneath the sheets, slowly exploring each other’s bodies, flash through my mind. ‘Do you want to head back to the suite?’

That almost imperceptible flicker of annoyance is back, and this time it lingers. The mood between us changes almost immediately. It feels like something has wedged itself firmly between us, keeping us at a distance from each other.

‘What?’ I ask. I lift my free hand to reach for him, then suddenly second-guess myself. I let my arm fall to the side. ‘What’s wrong?’

He shakes his head. ‘Nothing.’ His voice is curt and cold. The old Cash is back. He drops my hand and steps away from me. The distance between us widens even further.

‘Cash, wait.’ I chase after him and grab his hand. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve upset you.’

‘You don’t have anything to apologise for,’ he says quietly. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me flush against his chest, resting his chin on my head. ‘We just – We want different things.’

‘How do you know what I want?’ I ask.

‘I just do.’

‘I want you,’ I tell him. And I do. I want him in my life. However he’ll let me. I’ll even take scraps if it means I get to keep him in my life for just a little bit longer.

‘I know you do.’ He pulls back and gives me a sad smile, and I swear his voice cracks a little when he says, ‘But not how I want you.’