Page 35 of One More Made Up Love Song (Midnight Rush #2)

The stubble on Freddie’s cheeks is rough under my palms as I ask for more, tasting him, savoring the contact.

But then he wraps his hands around my wrists and gives them a gentle squeeze before finally pulling back, chest heaving as his breath slows.

The fire in his expression turns my insides molten, but there’s something else there too. A question I can’t read.

Panic floods my brain. Was I the one pushing the kiss? Asking for more? Was it too much and now he’s wondering what could possibly have come over me?

I lick my lips and drop my hands, taking a step backward. “ That should do it, I think,” I say. I pat Freddie on the chest with an awkwardness that even makes me cringe. “I think we definitely convinced everyone.”

Even me, I think.

Then I turn and make a run for the bathroom.

I stand at the sink and stare at my reflection, hands pressed into the cool marble countertop. My dress is speckled with the water I just splashed on my neck and cheeks, but I hardly care. As far as I’m concerned, I’ll spend the rest of the night in here anyway.

I definitely can’t go back out there.

When the bathroom door swings open, I start to panic, but then Laney slips into the room, locking the door behind her. She makes quick work of checking the stalls to make sure we’re alone, then she moves in beside me, leaning against the counter so she can face me.

“So,” she says gently. “Should we talk about that kiss?”

I breathe out a sigh. Even though I haven’t known Laney very long, when we met last year, we had an instant kinship that made her feel like an immediate friend.

Whenever we see each other, our relationship feels easy and natural, like we’re picking up exactly where we left off, so I’m not at all taken aback by her question.

And truthfully, I’m glad she showed up to ask about it because if I don’t talk about it, I might explode.

“It was obvious, wasn’t it?” I ask. I turn on the tap and hold my hands under the cold water, then lift them to my neck a second time.

“Obvious that you two are into each other?” she asks .

I look up sharply. “No! That I’m into him. That was me, Laney. I was driving that kiss. I lost control. Stopped thinking. He probably thinks I…” I turn off the water and reach for some paper towels, fighting the urge to flee.

Maybe the bathroom isn’t far enough. I need to leave Nashville altogether.

“Ivy,” Laney says gently. “I know I’m just one person, but from what I saw, you were not the only person enjoying that kiss.”

I prop my hands on my hips. “Sure. Kissing is fun. I’m sure he enjoyed himself. But that doesn’t mean he wanted whatever that turned into. It doesn’t mean he has real feelings.”

Her eyebrows lift, then her expression softens. “But you do have real feelings.”

I almost laugh at how easily she calls me out. For years I kept my feelings hidden, and now it seems like someone only has to look at me to know the truth. “I should just write it on my forehead in Sharpie," I say. “Apparently, I’m that bad at hiding it.”

“I mean, to be fair,” Laney says, “you aren’t exactly being chill right now. Without all the bathroom drama, I might not have made the leap.”

I give her a pointed look, and she winces.

“Okay, fine. Without the kiss and all the bathroom drama, I might not have made the leap. But that’s a good thing, right? You guys want people to think you’re together for real. Well, mission accomplished. That was some kiss.”

“I’m not worried about what people think. I’m worried about what Freddie thinks. I’m worried about him realizing I wasn’t faking. ”

“You could just tell him,” she says gently. “Maybe he feels the same way.”

I scoff. “He does not feel the same way.”

“I’m sorry, were you out there just now—when he was kissing you like his life literally depended on it?”

“That was just a kiss. It’s not the same thing. I’ve worked for him for years, Laney. Years when he could have made a move, when he could have seen me differently. And he never has.”

She bites her lip like she’s considering, her arms wrapped around her middle. Then she lifts her shoulders in a gentle shrug. “Maybe something changed for him. It’s not always just about the person. It can also be about timing, about what someone is looking for, what they’re ready for.”

I take a deep breath, wanting to believe she’s right. But I don’t know how to let go of my fear, my desperation to keep my secret safe from Freddie.

Laney lets out a little chuckle. “You know, last year when Freddie showed up in Lawson Cove, Adam said he had a whole list of ‘normal person’ things he wanted to do. Go through a drive-thru. Shop for his own groceries. He even wanted to help clean the kennels out in the dog barn. Adam thought he was ridiculous, but I think sometimes we take for granted what it means to have that kind of freedom. There aren’t many places Freddie can go by himself. Not without compromising his safety.”

“Yeah. He hates complaining about his fame, but I’ve seen his frustration over the limitations it brings.”

She nods. “I also wonder if the fame has impacted how he approaches relationships. He was, what, sixteen when Midnight Rush took off?”

“Fifteen,” I say. “He was the youngest of the four. ”

“Which means he’s probably never had a relationship where his fame wasn’t a factor.”

“Okay. But…what does that have to do with me?”

“Maybe nothing,” Laney says. “But it could mean he doesn’t really know what a normal relationship is supposed to look like. Or how to make a move without violating all kinds of rules about power dynamics and bosses hitting on their assistants.”

I shake my head. “There’s a power dynamic on paper, but it doesn’t feel like it in person. He treats me like an equal. I run his life, Laney. I know everything there is to know about him.”

“Okay. But that sounds like it could also make things complicated when it comes to feelings.”

I turn and slump against the counter beside her. “Complicated is a good word.”

She’s quiet for a beat before she says, “I think you should still tell him how you feel.”

I’m shaking my head before she even finishes the sentence. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s Freddie freaking Ridgefield.”

“Not to you, he’s not. He’s just Freddie.”

“But he isn’t,” I say. “His life, everything that comes with his fame. It’s a lot, Laney. I know it’s a lot because I’ve been watching him live it for years.”

“So what? You can handle a lot. You have been handling a lot because you’ve been living that life with him. You’re capable, practical, level-headed. That sounds like the perfect combination to handle a more serious relationship, despite the complications of his fame.”

“You’re making it sound way too easy. ”

“Hi. Do you remember what I do for a living? A small-town veterinarian is probably the last person cut out to be the girlfriend of a former popstar. And now I’m engaged to one. We figured it out.”

“But Adam lives in your hometown. You have privacy, a life that isn’t just about his fame.”

She’s quiet for a long moment. “Yeah. I get that. It definitely matters. And we don’t have to deal with Freddie’s level of fame.

But I still don’t think that’s a reason not to tell him how you feel.

After everything you’ve seen about his life, you still feel the way you feel.

That has to mean you’d be up for the challenge. ”

“I can’t. At least not until after all this faking is behind us.”

“Why not?”

“Because if he doesn’t feel the same way, there’s no way I can keep faking. I have to walk the red carpet with him at a movie premiere next week.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Laney says.

“I remind Adam of that all the time. There are always expectations, but his peace is more important than anything else. More than Midnight Rush. More than recording contracts or the expectations of his fans. If it’s true for him, it’s true for you too. Freddie would understand.”

“I know. I know he would. But we have a plan. And the positive press is really helping him right now. I don’t want to back out now.”

“Okay. I get it.” We’re quiet for a beat, but then she nudges my shoulder with hers. “I recognize the many, many layers of complications here,” she says, “but you have to at least tell me one thing. Was that kiss as good as it looked? ”

My skin flushes as I think of Freddie’s hands sliding up my arms, his fingers pressing into the base of my scalp as his mouth devoured mine.

I breathe out a sigh.

“It wasn’t,” I finally say. “It was better.”