Page 33 of One More Made Up Love Song (Midnight Rush #2)

The next few minutes are a whirlwind as Wren and Natasha take over my bedroom. They have everything. A three-way mirror. A changing screen. And clothing racks full of dresses in every imaginable color.

“This is so much more than you ever bring for Freddie,” I say as Natasha ushers me toward the changing screen.

“Because I’ve never done this for you before,” she says. “I have no idea what you’re going to like. Also, dresses are just so much fun!”

My stomach tightens. Dresses should be fun.

But even just looking at the sequins and sparkles and shimmering fabrics is making my anxiety spike.

The dress on the end of the rack is the same turquoise blue that Daphne wore the night she died, and it sends my mind back in time to the Saturday afternoon the two of us went shopping together to buy our dresses.

We begged Mom to let us go without her, because we wanted to feel grown up and responsible, and she relented.

I’ve never had so much fun in a mall. We probably tried on fifty dresses, some boring, some beautiful, and some so completely ridiculous they made us laugh until we cried.

Then we fell in love with the same dress.

Daphne tried it on first, but she saw the way I was eyeing it and insisted I try it on too.

It was perfect, and even though I know Daphne loved it too, she made a show of picking out a blue one instead, fawning over it like it was so much better than the one I picked.

I knew she was lying. But she wouldn’t back down. Even when I argued it was her senior prom, and I could even wear the dress next year when it was my senior prom.

She wanted me to wear the dress. That’s just the kind of sister she was.

“Maybe not that one,” Carina says, pulling my attention back into the present moment. She points to the turquoise one on the end, then whispers something to Wren, who quickly puts the dress inside a garment bag and tucks it out of sight.

Carina looks at me, her eyes full of understanding. “Are you okay?”

Before responding, my gaze slides over to Freddie, who is sitting on the other side of the room in one of the armchairs in front of my window.

He’s leaning forward, arms propped on his knees.

Our gazes catch, and though he doesn’t say anything, somehow, it feels like we’re talking anyway.

In a split second of eye contact, whole sentences pass between us.

Entire paragraphs of encouragement and calming reassurances are somehow bundled into the warmth radiating from his gaze.

When it reaches me, it spreads through my chest like a warm, weighted blanket. It’s the anchor I didn’t know I needed, and I feel myself relax the slightest bit.

Still, there is resolve in his expression .

I need to do this. I know I do. It’s a silly mental block, and it’s time to push through it.

Freddie knows that too. I love that he isn’t coddling me. He knows what I want, and he’s helping me do it.

“I’m okay,” I say, giving Carina a nod. “And maybe I can try the turquoise dress. I want to try them all.” I look at Freddie one more time. “Thank you,” I mouth, and he smiles, sending a shot of dopamine right into my heart. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

Overall, it’s not a terrible way to shop. Wren stays with me, helping me in and out of dresses, Natasha chooses what I try next, adjusting her picks according to how I feel about each thing I put on, and Carina and Freddie are a captive audience, offering opinions about what they like most.

We tackle tonight’s event first, and it only takes a couple of outfits for me to fall in love with a blue silk halter dress that makes my shoulders look amazing.

The back plunges low to the small of my back with a series of crisscrossing straps that more than make up for the otherwise simple silhouette.

Then we move on to formalwear.

I do not enjoy myself like I did when I was trying on dresses with Daphne, but I can tell Freddie and Carina are working overtime to keep me happy and distracted.

After ten dresses that are pretty enough but not quite right, Wren helps me into a black A-line dress with a strapless neckline and a high slit on the right thigh.

“Girl,” she says softly. “I think you found your dress.”

I slide my hands down the front of the skirt, then make my way out to the three-way mirror. It really is a beautiful dress. Contrast stitching swirls down the front, accentuating my waist, and the slit hits at a spot that feels sexy without being too sexy.

I can’t keep myself from smiling as I turn to face Freddie and Carina, but then I see Freddie’s face.

He’s leaning forward in his chair, body tense like he might jump up at any moment. And his expression—I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him look at me like this. Like he wants to… devour me.

I lick my lips, suddenly nervous. “What do you think?” I ask.

It’s Carina who answers. “You know who would love that dress?” she asks, her voice soft.

Freddie’s intense focus temporarily distracted me, but I know the answer to Carina’s question as soon as it’s out of her mouth.

“Daphne would love it,” I answer. Because it’s true. Had this been the prom dress she found first, she never would have given it up. And that makes me want to wear it even more.

I close my eyes and think of my sister, and for a split second, a warmth settles across my shoulders, and the anxiety I’ve been battling since this whole try-on-a-thon started calms and settles.

I can practically hear Daphne’s voice in my head. You’re right. I would have worn that dress. Which is why you should wear it now. Wear it for me.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes, then lift my fingers to catch a tear brimming over on one side.

“Are you sure this is okay?” I say to Carina, my voice cracking on the words.

She stands and walks toward me, pulling me into a hug.

“Of course it’s okay. You know she would want you to be happy.

To live your life and wear the dress and do the things.

” She pulls back so she can look me in the eyes but keeps her hands on my shoulders.

“Refusing to do those things won’t bring her back. All it does is make your life small.”

I’m not sure she means for me to, but I easily sense the double meaning in Carina’s words. Because being overprotective only makes her life small. And that’s not what I want for her any more than Daphne would want it for me.

“When did you get so smart?” I ask, and she grins.

“Rude,” she says playfully. “You know I came this way.” She tilts her head toward Freddie. “I think he likes it too.”

I finally look back at Freddie, who is still studying me. His gaze is softer now, the fire from moments before banked and controlled.

“What do you think?” I ask.

He licks his lips. “You look beautiful,” he says. “That’s definitely my favorite.” He stands and moves toward the door. “I think…” He clears his throat. “That is, if we’re done here, I have some…something. To do.”

I furrow my brows, surprised by his sudden departure. Then again, he’s already stayed longer than I thought he would, so I quickly nod. “Okay. Thanks for your help. And thank you for…” I wave my hands to encompass the entire room. “All of this.”

“You deserve it,” he says simply. Then he turns and disappears through the door, shutting it softly behind him.

“I think you flustered the poor man,” Natasha says, kneeling at my feet and messing with the hem of the dress. “Not that I’m surprised. The dress really is perfect. We’ll probably need to have it hemmed for you, but let’s pick your shoes first. ”

As soon as I have the right shoes, a pair that is miraculously comfortable despite the four-inch heel, Natasha drops back to the floor in front of me with a pin cushion and adjusts the hem of the skirt.

“I can’t tell you how happy I was when Freddie called,” she says.

“Almost as happy as I was when I saw the news that you two were finally together. It seemed like it was all anyone was talking about, but it still meant more to hear the news directly from Freddie. And then to have him ask for all this. ‘Spare no cost,’ he told me. ‘Whatever she wants, I want her to have it.’”

My heart climbs into my throat. “He really said that?”

“Is this the part where I get to say I told you so ?” Wren says. “Because I totally saw this coming, and you tried to tell me it was nothing.”

Natasha laughs. “I think we all saw this coming.”

“Definitely,” Carina adds, shooting me a pointed look.

“Even the fans agree. They literally love you so much. There’s an entire Reddit thread dedicated to stories from fans who had backstage passes or tickets to a meet-and-greet at one of Freddie’s shows, and it’s all about how perfect you are together. ”

“What? Are you being serious?”

Carina clears her throat, then holds up her phone and reads from the screen.

“They basically finish each other’s sentences.

And once, a woman in front of me in line tried to push Ivy out of the way so she could get closer to Freddie, and he immediately activated beast mode, pulling Ivy behind his body and very firmly telling the woman to keep her hands to herself.

I knew then they had to be a couple, so this news doesn’t surprise me at all. ”

Even though my job has usually included keeping an eye on Freddie’s online presence, I’ve been almost entirely offline this week, outside of text and email.

Right before we landed on the flight home to Nashville, Kat pulled me aside for a private conversation, one in which she reminded me of all the reasons why I should stay off social media now that I’m also in the spotlight.

“There will be a lot of people who love you simply because they believe he loves you,” she said.

“But there will also be people who say horrible things. Those things will not be true, but that won’t stop people from saying them.

They will make things up, they will criticize you, they will be unkind and unjust and irredeemably rude. ”

“I understand,” I told her, even as I swallowed against the lump forming in my throat. “I’ve seen the same things happen to Freddie over and over again. I know how to ignore it.”

She shook her head. “This isn’t the same thing.

It’s different when it’s about you. Please trust me on this.

Don’t go online. I have a whole team of social media interns monitoring everything that’s said about either one of you.

If anything worrisome comes up, we’ll let you know.

In the meantime, your job is to stay off the internet. ”

I know Carina wouldn’t share even if she did happen across any of the negative stuff, but it does feel good to know that most people seem to be happy for us.

But does their happiness even count if none of this is real?

Natasha and Wren and Carina, and apparently a million of Freddie’s fans, all think they saw this coming, but really enthusiastic cheerleaders can only do so much to help a team win.

At the end of the day, Freddie and I are the only two people who matter—and we’ve decided we’re just pretending.

That after his album releases, all of this will end.

I have to be okay with that.

But the way he just looked at me. I don’t think I made it up. Something is shifting between us. I don’t know what it is. And I definitely don’t know what it means. But I know he’s never looked at me like that before.

Is it possible I’m not the only one feeling something?

A new feeling simmers in the tiniest corner of my heart, something warm and bright and fluttery. Something that feels a lot like hope.