Page 8 of One Last Wish (The Elder World)

I woke up feeling anything but rested. My mind must have been racing even while I’d been asleep.

When I gazed in the bathroom mirror, I cringed. I looked more like death than usual. The big bags under my eyes did nothing for my pale, ice-white complexion. After pulling my hair into a bun and brushing my teeth, I wandered into the kitchen where Evelyn had made me breakfast. Oh, please no! I was in no mood to talk .

“Sit and eat,” she ordered, placing a cup of coffee down at the breakfast bar. “We don’t have to talk, but I need to know you’re okay.” As I sat down, I realised she’d made me an omelette with bacon, so I took a bite. It was pretty damn good.

“Thanks,” I muttered after another mouthful. “And you’re right, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you realise how crazy you sounded last night?” Evelyn took a seat next to me, sipping coffee from her favourite purple mug. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“It was a really realistic dream. I’m sorry,” I lied, not wanting her to press the matter anymore than she already was.

“Maybe you need to read contemporary romance for a little while. All these fantasy books are clearly messing with your head. You’ve had too many of these dreams lately.” I did read contemporary when I was in the mood. The smuttier ones were always my favourites.

“You might be right.” I forced a smile and looked up at her. “I’m fine, Evelyn. You don’t need to fuss.” After studying my face carefully, she finally believed me and got up.

“I can make the midnight release party for Future of Dawn at Bookends in December, by the way. I’ll bring some friends with me.” Well, at least that was the first few tickets sold. “I’ll help you and Theo decorate, if you want.” All I could do was nod as she grabbed her jacket and left for college.

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I THOUGHT ABOUT THE aesthetics of my first midnight release party on my way to work, partly to try and clear my mind from the events of last night. Future of Dawn was a dragon series set in a distant magical kingdom. Dragon eggs and draped pieces of cloth that look like dragon fire would look magical in Bookends. Theo was looking into cardboard cutout dragons to finish the look off. If we sold a hundred tickets, I’d be happy.

I was the first at work, as usual. Ned got there a few minutes after me, followed by Theo and Alice. Darce was on the later shift today, and would be in after lunch.

“If you could be any magical being, what would you pick?” Daisy asked me while I finished putting the display lighting on. It was eight in the morning. Seriously, what was this girl smoking?

“A vampire so I could suck all the life out of you .”

“That’s horrible,” Daisy chirped. “I’d be a unicorn, spreading love and peace.” That was so sickly, I threw up in my mouth a little. “What about you, Theo?” she called. I hadn’t even noticed he was so close.

“I’d be some kind of Shadow Prince. The tortured, brooding type that would kill anyone for the one he loved.” Evelyn really did tell Theo too much about me. It can’t have been a coincidence that they were my favourite kind of male fictional characters.

“That’s very specific,” Daisy frowned. Theo shrugged, going back to his duties of checking all the shelves on the ground floor.

I left Alice and Theo on the tills and escaped upstairs, hiding in one of the hidden alcoves in the fantasy section. It was a sunny day, and the rays streaming through the skylight were beautiful. It made the light appear to have specks of gold glitter intertwined within it. Malcolm was working from home today, which meant I was in charge. It would be an eleven hour shift for me, but I had a few books to keep me company.

I was reading a few of the new books that had come in, trying to work out where to shelve them. If I enjoyed a book, I often gave it a little handwritten write up and put it on the shelf for our customers to read. It was these personal touches that made our customers come back.

It was well past midday when I looked at my watch. Stretching, I stood up, knowing I’d have to make sure everyone was working. The fact Theo hadn’t found me meant I’d hidden myself well.

Looking down below, I saw Alice and Darce at the cashier’s desk. My cheeks began to burn as I took him in. While he wasn’t watching me, I found it hard to tear my eyes away. How did he have an effect on me from this distance? I stepped back and gripped one of the book cases, then looked at my hands. Was I really going insane or had I seen my hands glowing last night? That thought hadn’t left my mind all day. Distracting myself with books hadn’t worked like I’d hoped.

My biggest fear was starting to surface: the one thing I would never admit to anyone. It was hard enough to admit it to myself. What if my mind was broken? I’d never felt an emotion and I’d never been connected to anyone . What if I was slowly going insane?

In my mind, my hands had glowed, but that was impossible because things like that only existed in books. It didn’t matter how much I wanted to open those books and climb inside them. To let them shelter me from this cruel world. It was never going to happen. I had to accept the fact that I needed serious help. My mind wasn’t working properly.

“Were you planning on avoiding me all day?” Darce’s voice made me jump so I braced myself on the bookcase. His eyes widened once he took me in. “You look like shit. Are you okay?” The insults got better and better with this man.

“Thanks for reminding me,” I cringed, looking away. “I didn’t sleep very well last night. And I’m not avoiding you. I’m not that childish, thank you!”

“Are you sure about that?” Prick!

“I’m too tired to argue with you right now!”

“You’re saying no on the chance to insult me again?”

“Rain check?” I forced a grin.

Darce was thoughtful for a moment. “Do you feel at home up here?” It was such a bizarre question, but I answered it anyway.

“Around all the books? Yes. For someone like me, it’s good to have somewhere to escape to, if only for a short while.

“You dream of escaping ?”

“Not really, but I do think about not being here sometimes,” I admitted, confused at my honesty with him. Did I just admit to him that I occasionally thought about disappearing? Not that I would have ever gone through with it. When my head was that heavy, it only entered my mind because I wanted to silence it. The pain of desolation could be a hard pill to swallow at times.

“You’re that unhappy?” Darce was thrown off balance for a few seconds. “I didn’t have you down as a quitter.”

“It’s not about that, Darce.” I moved to one of the comfortable, red reading couches and slumped down. He followed, sitting opposite me. “It’s about waking up every fucking day and not fitting in with anyone. People are rushing around me, living their lives. I feel as if I’m standing still and no one sees me. What is the point?”

“Of living ?” he questioned. I nodded. “Alora, we all have to fight . Look at breathing. We fight for a breath every second until it becomes second nature to us. I don’t think there is a single person in this whole universe that doesn’t have some doubt about themselves. Life isn’t easy, but it’s worth fighting for. Every. Damn. Day. If you opened your eyes, you would see how many people truly care.”

“Oh, please. Can we stop talking about Theo .”

“I wasn’t referring to him,” he chuckled, leaning back into the sofa. “You try to push people away at Bookends, but they all like and respect you.”

“‘ Like’ is probably going a little far. They respect me because of my leadership skills, nothing else.”

“Do you have an answer for everything ?”

“Just when I’m around you.” I grinned, shaking my head. “Do you drive every woman crazy like this?”

“No, only you.” His tone was deep and sexual, as if it held some unspoken truth. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as his gaze moved over my body. There was a war raging in those jet black eyes of his. It took everything not to stand up and straddle his lap. By his predatory gaze, I didn’t think he’d stop me. It seemed I was getting to him!

“The feeling is mutual,” I managed to force out.

“You could have a happy life if you tried. All I’m saying is that life is precious. Do the things you love, and you’ll start to understand that.”

“The only thing I really care about is books.”

“That’s pretty pathetic, ” he snorted, crossing his arms. I was lost for a few moments as I watched the way the muscles strained on his forearm. “Alora, it’s rude to stare.” Double fuck! “There must be other things you enjoy.”

“Music,” I huffed, unable to even look at him. If he caught me perving again, I’d never hear the end of it.

“That’s more like it. What kind of music?”

“Instrumental, mostly. Classic orchestra, too. I don’t mind modern songs if they have a good beat and lyrics when I’m drunk, though.”

“Okay, we can add drinking to your list of hobbies then.” My head snapped up and I gave him my best bitch brow. “Alora, your list is very small . At this point, we need to add everything you can think of.”

“Are you suggesting that I’m not interesting enough?”

“No!” He laughed out loud, the sound brightening up the whole space. “The opposite, actually. You fascinate me.”

“Oh.” Swallowing hard, I tried to think of any other detail about myself that I could tell him. “I love lights.”

“ Light ?”

“Yeah, at night. I love walking around all the glistening lights. I stand for hours on The Brooklyn Bridge sometimes, watching the nightlife in Manhattan wake up with all those tiny twinkle lights in the distance.”

“There you go then.”

“What?” I asked, frowning at him.

“You need to go out dancing more, catch a few concerts of the music you love, and get Theo to take you out on a date to look at the lights. All your problems will be solved.” Oh, the jackass was mocking me. I couldn't help but chuckle at his smile. “You can have this session for free,” he teased, standing up, “but I’m charging you for the next one.”

“Thanks, Doctor Darce ,” I called out as he reached the bottom of the stairs. “Tell Alice I’ll dock her pay if she keeps filing her nails at the desk.”

“How do you know she’s doing that?”

“I have eyes and ears everywhere,” I smirked, picking my book up from the table in front of me.

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B Y THE END OF THE DAY it was Darce and I left to lock up again.

“Why do you work so many double shifts?” he asked while I was closing up. “Do you even get days off?”

“I get a day off a week. I don’t mind the extra shifts. Besides, what else do I have to do?”

“ Live ?” Darce pointed out like it was obvious. “You really need to get out more.”

“I go out with my roommate, Evelyn, most weekends!”

“Oh, you have at least one friend, then?”

“I wouldn’t call her that, but it beats going out alone.” Darce gave me an astonished look. “What?”

“You keep everyone at a distance, don’t you?”

“I thought I’d made that clear.” The front door wasn’t pulling shut properly for me to close it. With my tiny frame, it wouldn’t budge. If I didn't close it soon, the alarm would go off. Darce moved, standing extremely close to me, and slammed it shut just in time. I could feel the vibration of his body, and I swear his breathing was more erratic. Our fingers were so close that they were almost touching. “What’s the deal with you not liking to be touched?”

“I’m not ready to go there yet.”

“But you will explain it at some point?” Even though I had finally locked the door, we didn’t move. Our eyes connected in some sort of battle, searching for answers of questions we hadn't even asked yet.

“If you start living... yes .” Darce was making this about me ? “Isn’t that enough of an incentive? Start living and I’ll give you some answers.”

“You do not play fair!” Why was the smile on my face so huge?

“I never said I did.” He tilted his head, giving me a sincere smile before pulling away. “See you in the morning, Alora.” Without looking back, he walked off.

Why did he keep doing that?