Page 7

There are so many emotions I have experienced during my short life as a human.

I think it's fair to say that my least favorite of these has been humiliation. It’s bad enough that I urinated in his car.

I wish my loss of pride ended there. But the conversation that followed my first trip to the toilet only made things worse.

I think it was pretty bad for Max, too. I didn’t know a face could flush as red as his did, as he calmly sat me down and explained the many bodily functions I would soon experience.

I’m not sure what is more upsetting: the human need to defecate food waste each day, or that I will bleed between my legs every month. Both seem terrifying.

There have been good emotions too, thank God. Laughing makes me feel warm, eating food generates a sense of physical and mental satisfaction, and I am intrigued and amazed by so many other things. It seems the good emotions outweigh the bad.

I wish we had more time to talk after my shower, which was also strangely enjoyable, but Max had to get ready and leave for work. He promised to answer any more questions I have when he gets home tonight.

The problem is now I don’t know what to do with myself.

He made me promise not to leave the apartment until he returns.

I found that odd, seeing as his goal is getting rid of me as fast as he can.

But I guess he wants to make sure I will help him out of his deal.

He’s most likely worried that I will take off and not make good on my word.

There are several reasons I wouldn’t do that, though.

One, I have no idea where I would go and what I would do.

Two, I made a promise, and the one thing I have never done is break a promise.

That’s literally what I have done for the last several decades…

made good on promises. But third, and perhaps the most unexpected reason, is that I’m starting to like Max.

I can tell he’s irritated with me. But I can’t fault him for that, given the circumstances of our relationship.

But despite all of it, he’s been kind to me.

He easily could have mocked me when I peed on myself, or refused to answer any of my questions, and frankly, he could have chosen to ignore me completely, but he doesn’t. He’s helpful and patient.

His attitude towards me has only strengthened my resolve to undo his contract.

I just need to figure out how. I'm not sure if any copies of the Book of Arcainia are left on Earth.

Locating the ancient book of laws is my only chance of finding a loophole in our deal.

But if there is a copy somewhere, I will have to get my hands on it. Somehow.

For now, I will have to wait. I can’t do anything without his help because I don’t know how to navigate the human world.

I spent the morning looking around the apartment, opening cabinets and doors, examining the art on the walls, the furniture and fixtures, and observing the enormity of the city around me through the floor-to-ceiling windows.

But now I’m feeling worn down. Maybe I need to sleep.

Max looked exhausted when he left. He had thick, swollen lumps under his eyes, and the color seemed to have run out of his skin. I bring my fingertips to my eyes and don’t find them puffy at all, but decide to lie on the couch for a while. Maybe a rest will make me feel better.

Turning on the TV, I press the arrows on the handheld device, changing from one moving image to the next when an old woman with a funny voice catches my attention. She’s breaking eggs into a giant bowl and says she will somehow make it into a cake. This I have got to see.

I thought food was just something that was available. It never occurred to me that it has to be put together and made hot. I am fascinated. I wonder if Max keeps stuff in the apartment to make food or if he has someone else make it for him. Maybe I could be the maker of our food.

Now the lady on TV is holding a headless and featherless bird she calls a chicken, but I thought chickens had heads, so I'm confused. She is showing me how to roast it, whatever that means, with herbs and butter, whatever that is.

Suddenly overwhelmed with all the things I do not know, I squeeze my eyes shut, releasing a deep sigh as I mutter into the empty room, “Maybe I am not fit to be human after all.”

My stomach sinks as I listen to her continue the lesson. “Dropping a rounded teaspoon of…

Her voice is getting farther away with each second that passes until I slip away into nothingness.