Page 7 of One Cry Too Loud (Coastal Crime Unit #9)

“ I ’m fine,” I said, taking a deep breath and keeping my voice steady. It had been a few hours since that poor girl’s car had slammed through the pottery shop, and in that time, I had said that phrase at least a dozen times. “I promise, Kat.”

The woman on the other end of the line was someone I’d known since I was a teenager.

She was someone I knew almost as well as I knew myself.

It was because of that familiarity that I could tell that her voice was coated, not only with worry, but with an anger she was trying desperately (and mostly succeeding) to keep at bay.

“I know. You said that three times the first time I called. If that would have been enough for me, I wouldn’t have called back,” she answered. “I just don’t know why you won’t let me just come to the hospital and check on you guys.”

“We’re all fine,” I repeated. “Nate hit his face against the wall when the car came through. He’s got some scratches along his cheek and forehead. Holly was in shock a bit when she first came in, but she’s alright now. And you know me, Kat. It’ll take more than a speeding car to take me out.”

“I feel like that’s probably similar to what everyone says before they’re taken out, Jackson,” she huffed. “What about Sarah Jane?”

“She’s at home with the baby and Kyle,” I said. “Not that keeping her there was any easier than it’s turning out to be with you.”

“I can’t imagine that surprises you,” she replied. “We just got you back. I know it’s been a month and a half or so and I know you’re still recovering from that, but-”

“I have recovered from that,” I corrected, cutting her off. “I was kidnapped. I was held against my will. It wasn’t fi=un, but I’m not going to let it define the rest of my life.”

“Good. I’m proud of you, but I wasn’t talking about you. You’re not the only one still recovering, Jackson. We all are, especially your daughter. Especially me.”

Her voice wavered just a touch as she finished the sentence, and a pang of guilt ran through me. I hadn’t thought about that aspect of it. Not really. Not in the way I should have.

“I’m sorry,” I said honestly.

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to be okay,” she answered.

“I am okay. I promise,” I said. “I want you to come to the hospital. Hell, I wouldn’t mind if you came everywhere with me, but-”

“But you can’t.” She finished my sentence.

“The mission,” I said in a way of explanation.

“A mission?” Kat balked. “There’s a full blown mission now?” The anger in her voice rose closer to the surface. “I know Nate wanted to talk to you, and I figured it was about work, but I didn’t think he’d actually enlist you for a mission without looping me in.”

“I didn’t either,” I said, looking across the waiting area of the hospital and seeing Holly sitting there.

We had all been cleared to leave, but the three of us were still sitting here.

We needed just a few minutes. Besides, here were things to say.

“It’s more complicated than that, though.

I wish I could tell you right now. I hope, when the time comes, you’ll understand why I can’t. ”

“I’m sure I will,” she answered, sighing. “As long as you’re okay, I’m sure I will.”

“I’m fine. I’ll continue to be fine,” I answered. “We’ve still got that drink to get, after all.”

“Don’t worry about that right now,” she replied.

“Get home, get some rest, and deal with whatever you need to deal with.” She stopped talking for just a moment, though there was weight in the air that sat around the silence.

It was enough to let me know that whatever she was about to say was going to be important.

“You need to know this, though. The CCU is very important to me, extremely important. It’s more than a job.

It’s more than a mission. I firmly believe it’s what I’m supposed to be doing.

I believe it’s the greatest work of my life. ”

“Kat, I would never do anything to-”

“It’s not the most important thing to me,” she answered.

“It’s not as important as the people in my life.

It’s not as important as you. I trust Nate.

Honest to God, I do, but he’s a money man, at the end of the day.

He’s not us. It’s not his neck on the chopping block.

It’s not him who is in the line of fire everyday.

” She sighed. “I trust you when you say there’s a good reason to keep me in the dark about this, but I need you to hear me.

If there is even a second when you feel like this is going sideways, if there’s an instant when you think that you’re in over your head and need a helping hand, you grab mine.

Damn the CCU. Damn whatever Nate wants, and damn the reason you feel like I can’t know right now.

None of that matters as much as you. So you understand? ”

I looked back at Holly again. She had her secrets, and she wanted to keep them. I understood that. I understood that she believed keeping that secret kept everyone safe, but I also understood what Kat just said, and I wasn’t going to let her believe I didn’t.

“Of course,” I replied.

“Good,” she said. “I’m here if you need me. Always.”

“I know that,” I replied.

“Great. Now get your ass home and get some rest before someone tries to hit you with a cement truck or something.”

“I can do that,” I chuckled. “We’ll talk soon.”

“Sounds good,” she said, and then disconnected the call.

I pushed myself up from the chair and walked over toward the others.

Nate was on his phone, as usual, scrolling across his screen with his thumb, probably checking things out with one of the many businesses he owned.

Holly looked over at me anxiously. She was biting her lower lip.

Her glasses had worked their way halfway down the bridge of her nose.

“Was that Kat again?” She asked, but I could tell she already knew the answer. “I can’t imagine she was happy.”

“She was most certainly not happy,” I replied. “She’s worried about me, about Nat.” I motioned to Holly. “She’d be worried about you too, if she knew you were here.”

“She can’t know that,” Holly said, shaking her head so hard that I feared her brain would bounce around in her skull like a pinball. “You saw what happened. He took control of a car and drove it into the building where we were standing. He’s dangerous.”

“Oh, I know he’s dangerous,” I said. “I also know he’s smart, and he knows enough about you to know who I am and to know that we’re coming after him. That’s why I think Kat should know. She should have the opportunity to protect herself.”

“Joe’s not going to hurt Kat,” Holly said as though the idea was ridiculous.

“First off, we don’t know that it’s Joe.

I know you have your suspicions, and you might be right, but we don’t know yet,” I said.

“Secondly, whoever this is just hijacked a teenage girl’s car and used it as a missile with her inside of it.

So, if it is Joe, I think the idea that he wouldn’t hurt someone is pretty inaccurate. ”

“Is she hurt?” Holly asked. “The girl. Is she-”

“She has a broken nose and a concussion. She’ll be fine,” I said. “But that’s not the point. She just as easily could have been killed. Whoever this is, if it’s Joe-”

“It is Joe!” She replied.

“Fine. he doesn’t have any respect for human life,” I said. “He’s not going to spare Kat, or Kyle, or Sarah Jane, or anyone else out of a need to preserve life.”

“You’re not understanding,” Holly said. “I don’t mean that Joe wouldn’t hurt Kat because he won’t hurt people. I’m saying that he won’t hurt her because he wouldn’t hurt anyone who is important to me.”

My mouth fell open. “Are you serious right now? Forget about people you care about. Two hours ago, he tried to kill you personally.”

“He didn’t,” Holly said.

“A hole in the front of a pottery studio would say otherwise,” I replied.

“If he wanted to kill me, I’d already be dead. That was a warning,” Holly responded.

“The only reason you’re not dead is because I saved you,” I reminded her.

“Listen,” she sighed. “I know this is hard to understand, but you don’t know Joe. He wouldn’t hurt me. He loved me. He still loves me. That’s why he was watching me, watching what I did online. It has to be.”

My eyes went wide as I grew closer to the woman. “Do you-Do you want him to still be in love with you, Holly?”

“Yes,” she said quickly. “But not for the reason you’re probably thinking.

He disgusts me. I don’t ever want anything to do with him ever again.

The idea of him makes my skin crawl, but if he loves me, maybe that’ll stop him from hurting my daughter.

Maybe I can use that as leverage to get her back. ”

“I get it now,” I said, nodding. “That little girl has been gone for a week. You want to believe that Joe wouldn’t hurt anyone who you care about because, if that’s true, it means he wouldn’t hurt your daughter either. It means she’s safe and we’re not too late to stop him from-”

“I just-I know him! That’s all. I know him,” she said.

“Right,” I said, nodding. Turning to Nate, I continued. “If you’d like to pull your head out of your phone and listen, I think-”

“I have been listening,” Nate said, still looking down at his phone.

“And you’re right. Her reasons are nothing more than a coping mechanism, and we can’t work within the confines of her metaphorical security blanket.

” He finally looked up, but his eyes didn’t meet mine.

They met Holly’s. “We’re doing the mission.

Of course, we are, but it’s too dangerous this way.

I’m sorry, Holly. I hate to do this, but if we’re going to do this, everyone needs to know everything.

” He shook his head. “The secret is out.”