Page 26 of Once Vanished

But was it now night or day?Midnight or noon?Jilly’s thoughts spiraled, untethered from the usual markers of passing time.She had counted heartbeats until the numbers blurred.She had sung songs in her head until the melodies tangled.She had recited every poem she knew until the words lost their meaning.

One particular question surfaced again and again, a tide that wouldn’t recede.Where was her Mom?

Jilly knew that Riley Paige was legendary at finding people—everyone knew that.She had found Jilly herself, hadn't she?Plucked her from the edge of ruin at that truck stop in Phoenix when no one else had even bothered to look.So why hadn't she found her now?

A familiar doubt curled through Jilly's thoughts.What if Mom wasn't looking as hard this time?What if she was too busy …

No.Jilly shook her head as much as the hood allowed.Her mom loved her.Mom had chosen her, had fought for her in court against her biological father.Mom had given her a home, a family, when she'd had nothing but bruises and bitter memories.

But still, the doubt persisted.

Jilly's breath hitched beneath the gag, the sound muffled and pathetic.She hated her own weakness, hated this muddy pool of self-pity.

She forced her mind to sharpen, to recall the techniques Mom had taught her for staying centered during stress.Breathe as deeply as possible.Focus on one physical sensation at a time.Create a mental inventory of facts you know to be true.

Fact: Mom had found her in Phoenix.

Fact: Mom had made her family when she had none.

Fact: Mom would move heaven and earth to find her …

A sudden sound sliced through Jilly's thoughts.Footsteps approaching, measured and unhurried.She tensed, thinking that surely her hammering heartbeat was audible.The door opened, and a tall shadow was standing there.

"I must apologize for leaving you alone for so long, Jilly."Leo's voice was smooth, almost gentle."I've been quite busy with … various preparations.I hope you understand."

Her muttered curse was meant to be defiant, but even to her own ears, it came out desperate and afraid.

"I know, I know," Leo continued, as if they were having a normal conversation."It must be terribly unpleasant for you.This kind of isolation can be quite...destabilizing."

She focused on her breathing again, tried to steady it.She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her panic.

"I wonder," he said, his voice dropping lower, more intimate, "do you know why your mother hasn't found you yet?"

Jilly's breath caught.Despite her determination, the question hit its mark.

"I've studied Special Agent Riley Paige for quite some time now," Leo continued."Did you know that?I've followed her career, her cases.I know her capabilities.And yet...here you are still.A captive."He paused."Soon, you'll know just how much she loves you.How far she's willing to go to save your life."

Again a muffled curse emerged only as a strangled sound.

"It's a curious thing, adoption," Leo said, his voice thoughtful."A choice made for whatever reasons, rather than a bond forged by blood.I wonder sometimes if it's quite the same.Does she love you as much as April, do you think?Or is there always that lingering doubt in your mind?"

Tears of rage burned behind Jilly's eyes.He was playing on her deepest fears, fears she hadn’t voiced even to herself for a long time before now.

"Perhaps I should have taken April instead," Leo mused."That would have been interesting, wouldn't it?To see if Riley's response would be different for her biological daughter."

Jilly's chest tightened, her breath coming in quick, shallow gasps.

Then, suddenly, a buzzing sound cut through the silence.Leo's phone.

"Excuse me a moment," he said, all politeness."I need to take this."

He stepped back out the door, and Jilly heard the lock snap into place.

Then she was alone again with her own thoughts, now even more disturbing to her than Leo himself.

*

Leo closed the door behind him and looked again at the message on his phone.