Page 11

CHAPTER 11

T he following morning, I awakened to discover my arm wrapped around a warm, supple body. Panic flinched through my limbs. She stirred, rubbing her cheek against my chest and clearing my disorientation.

Elizabeth. She smelled of fresh rain, earth, and rose petals—my favorite things. Her hair tickled my face, but I was too afraid of disturbing her to brush it away. What if she woke up? How would she react? How should I react?

The rain had lasted well into the night, and we had conversed until our eyelids grew heavy. We talked of books and music and horses. Most of all, we spoke of our families, exchanging story after story until I felt a closeness to the Bennets that only a better understanding of their past could afford. Gratified in Elizabeth’s friendship, I slept as I never have before.

It took a few moments for me to realize that I really ought to remove myself from the bed immediately. The sooner I dressed?—.

My god, only a sheet and blanket separated her from me!

No, that was not quite right, I discerned as I identified the scratch of wool under my arm?my greatcoat. During the night, I must have pulled it over her. She had all the blankets as well as my coat, and although my left side faced the door to protect her from the wind, I had not been awakened by the cold.

Nor was I inclined just then to move. I wished to stay here in this spot forever, with Elizabeth’s head against my shoulder, her arm crossing my torso, her hand resting against my chest, and her leg thrown over my right side.

Slowly, deeply, I inhaled the scent clinging to her hair as I considered how best to extract myself from the single bed. I wiggled my torso away, but she mumbled and clutched onto my shirt, holding me in place. Much as I wished to oblige her unconscious whim, I knew it would be best to spare her the embarrassment of finding herself sprawled over me when she awakened.

Perhaps I should start from the bottom, I thought. Inch by painstaking inch, I wiggled my feet out from under her and over the side of the bed. Success! A quarter of my person was out of the bed, and soon both of my legs dangled off the side of the straw mattress, my waist and arms coiled so as not to disturb the beauty slumbering there. But now that I had begun, I had to finish. I could not hold this contortion much longer.

As I tried to decide what I should do next, a pounding at the door made all of my efforts to wake Elizabeth up gently for naught. A female voice shouted, “Lizzy? Lizzy Bennet!”

Elizabeth jolted upright, grabbing my coat and pulling it tightly around her, her eyes widening as the remainder of my body plopped unceremoniously to the floor without her weight to balance me upon the bed.

“One minute!” I replied to the stern voice on the other side of the door. After looking over to assure that Elizabeth was as presentable as the circumstances allowed, I smoothed the front of my shirt as well as I could and stuffed my feet into my boots. Then I opened the door, occupying as much space as possible to prevent them from seeing Elizabeth immediately.

Miss Charlotte Lucas stood at the doorway, and Mrs. Bennet sat stiffly behind her on the seat of a cart, markedly vexed. “Mr. Darcy,” she said in a scold, “what are you doing here?”

Thankfully, Miss Lucas spoke more to their purpose. “Mrs. Bennet was concerned?—”

“I did not sleep a wink all night! Such is the tribulation of a devoted mother!” called Mrs. Bennet.

“—when Lizzy did not return to Longbourn before the storm began.”

“Ungrateful, obstinate girl! We shall be cast out into the hedgerows, and here I am, forced to ride here with the back-stabbing viper who has stolen Mr. Collins!” Miss Lucas pressed her eyes closed and breathed in slowly while Elizabeth’s mother continued. “I shall never forgive Lizzy for this! My suffering is too great to speak of, too painful to express!”

If Sir William had succeeded in his alluded purpose when he invited Mr. Collins to stay at Lucas Lodge, I understood the reason for Mrs. Bennet’s distress. After hearing what had been said, Elizabeth must now suspect why Miss Lucas had been added to her mother’s growing list of people to whom she would not speak, though my new friend would not be quick to accept it. Not a sound came from behind me, though I felt her stare burning against my back.

Miss Lucas pressed her lips closed and looked heavenward, visibly steeling her patience. “The Bennets thought Elizabeth must have stayed the night with me at Lucas Lodge when the weather turned.”

“I had hoped Lizzy would come to her senses! There is no hope for us now!”

Lips tight, voice sharp, Miss Lucas continued, “I did not know Elizabeth had meant to call at Lucas Lodge until a message arrived from Longbourn for her. I sent word back that she was not with us and immediately went there in the cart.”

Talking over Miss Lucas as though she were not present, Mrs. Bennet continued, “If only I had sent Mary in my stead! I was convinced Lizzy had changed her mind and had accepted him!”

“I could not leave Mrs. Bennet in her agitated state, so I insisted that she accompany me.”

“I would be better off dead!”

Miss Lucas clenched her fists at her sides. “We saw a bit of smoke coming from the chimney. Knowing this house should be empty, we hoped to find her here.”

“I had Cook bake another cake!” Mrs. Bennet’s complaints crescendoed into loud sobs.

Before the calm, sensible Miss Lucas was reduced to pulling out her hair or lashing out at her resentful companion, I moved aside, allowing them to see the cause of their worry sitting on top of the bed by the dying fire.

“Lizzy!” Mrs. Bennet scrambled down the cart, and I dashed forward to prevent her from landing face-first in the mud. Once she regained her balance, her hysteria turned to anger. As I was the only one present to whom she had not taken a vow of silence, I received the brunt of her ire. “You! I ought to have known you would be here, though I cannot understand why when you have made it plain to all of Longbourn and Meryton that you hardly find Lizzy tolerable.”

Oh, I would be made to regret those words for the rest of my life!

Crossing her arms over her chest, holding her breath, and dabbing at her eyes, Mrs. Bennet demonstrated the genuine reaction of a truly concerned mother. Despite her relief, however, it was apparent that she would not speak directly to her uncooperative daughter.

Elizabeth hopped over to the doorway, a trail of sheets sliding behind her like a veil under my coat. She wrapped her arms around her mother, who did her best to appear unaffected. Mrs. Bennet huffed as much as she cried while Elizabeth kissed her cheek and reassured her.

Miss Lucas watched the scene with one eye on me. “She has vowed never to speak to Lizzy again for refusing Mr. Collins.”

I nodded. “I am aware of that.”

Any tenderness Mrs. Bennet had allowed herself to display dried up at the reminder. Elizabeth, who must have sensed the change, backed away from her mother. She stood on her uninjured leg, and I offered my arm, which she grasped for support.

Miss Lucas waited for Mrs. Bennet to speak. After a long period of awkward silence, she added, “I had expected Mrs. Bennet to redirect her disappointment away from Lizzy completely when she learned my news, but such has not been the case.”

Elizabeth’s gaze snapped to her friend. “Oh, Charlotte, tell me you did not?—”

Miss Lucas stood taller, her voice firm. “Mr. Collins made me an offer of marriage, and I accepted.”

“But he is ridiculous! How will you be happy? Oh, Charlotte, how could you?”

Mrs. Bennet glared at Miss Lucas, who bore the matron’s scorn without wavering.

“I am not like you, Lizzy. I do not need affection. I only wish for a place of my own. Mr. Collins is not a violent man and will treat me kindly.”

“What do you have in common? What conversation will you have?”

While I was happy to learn Elizabeth possessed higher standards, a rare sense of dread filled my bones. What if I was not as romantic as she wished her suitor to be? Would I meet her expectations?

Mrs. Bennet stood with her hands fisted at her sides, her lips pinched together and her eyes strained. Holding in her words must have taken every bit of strength in her possession, because she looked like she might burst.

Rather than allow her to explode, I addressed her in an attempt at appeasement. “Mrs. Bennet, Miss Elizabeth was caught outside in the storm. She fell in the mud and twisted her ankle just as I chanced by. While I was assisting her, the thunder startled my horse, which ran off. As Miss Elizabeth was injured and we were without a conveyance of any sort, we had no choice but to seek shelter until the storm abated.”

The matron glanced at her daughter, who hopped back to the bed where she could prop up her foot. Just the small amount of time she had been standing had been too much.

Mrs. Bennet’s gaze turned back to me, calculating.

Once again, I prepared myself for the expected demand for an offer, but now I was not unwilling to make the grand gesture. Undoubtedly, this time there was nothing else that could be done. Elizabeth and I had spent the night alone together and had even shared a single bed. While we both knew we had behaved as properly as any parent could wish, it would ruin Elizabeth if it became known.

“Mr. Darcy, might I suggest that, unless you wish to be saddled with my obstinate daughter for a wife, you should stay far away from her?”

I took a step back in disbelief. After all this, Mrs. Bennet—a lady whose sole ambition in life was to see her daughters settled—would not demand a hasty marriage to a gentleman of wealth and circumstance? She was not unaware of the advantages I could offer her family. She had been the most vocal among the mothers at the Meryton Assembly. However, these attributes counted for nothing once she had deemed me disagreeable.

I could not help but hold her in higher esteem for it. At the same time, her continued resentment shamed me.

Still, right was right, and I would treat Elizabeth fairly.

Miss Lucas was a lady with a practical mind and a cool temper. Surely, she must see how difficult it would be to keep this situation from ruining the reputation of her dearest friend. “Miss Lucas, I cannot in good conscience expose Miss Elizabeth, your friend, to the disdain of a cruel society. What will your neighbors say when they find out? I cannot imagine this can be kept secret. Nor would it be proper for me to ask that you keep such an apparently scandalous scene hidden. I am willing to take the necessary measures to protect Miss Elizabeth’s reputation.” I clasped my hands in front of me and bowed my head slightly. “It would be an honor.”

My ears burned. I wished I could see Elizabeth’s reaction behind me.

Mrs. Bennet, still determined to keep her silence against her daughter and Miss Lucas, pronounced her discontent to me. “Just because I am vexed beyond recovery by her does not mean I will treat her cruelly. How could I punish her to a loveless marriage with a proud man who refuses to dance?”

What?! It would seem that refusing to dance was my great failure, a flaw so grievous she preferred that her daughter marry my aunt’s rector—the repulsive Mr. Collins—over a union with me. This was indeed a solid kick to my stomach.

Miss Lucas shifted her gaze from me to Elizabeth, her eyes narrowing. “Contrary to what others may think of you, Mr. Darcy, I believe you to be an honest, respectable man. Tell me, on the honor of your family name, did you behave like a gentleman every minute of the time you and Lizzy were isolated here?”

“As God is my witness, yes.”

Elizabeth nodded, and Miss Lucas seemed satisfied. “I have no reason to disbelieve you,” she declared.

I exhaled in relief. Finally, someone who saw reason! This sensible woman understood that Elizabeth and I must wed despite having engaged in nothing immoral. I felt the corners of my lips tug upward, but I controlled the urge to smile before it broke out over my face.

As pleased as I was with this outcome, I sensed I had a great deal of work to do to convince my future bride that I would do everything in my power to please her and that our union would be a happy one. I was fully committed to making it so, and I did not doubt that she would do the same. Two equally determined people could not help but meet with some success.

Already, I imagined laughter echoing down Pemberley’s halls, servants whispering behind closed doors about how happy their master and mistress were, and Georgiana blossoming under the influence of a lady whose character I would encourage her to emulate.

These thoughts warmed my heart despite the cold. Never had I envisioned a future with such clarity. I firmly resolved to fight for that future. If I could persuade Elizabeth to see the upcoming years as I did, she would want it as badly as I did. We would be as blissful together as if we had chosen each other rather than being compelled to marry due to this unfortunate situation.

I turned to Mrs. Bennet, but then Miss Lucas broke her contemplative silence. “I have no reason to doubt your word, Mr. Darcy, and I trust Lizzy implicitly. You both say nothing scandalous occurred, so I believe you. Mrs. Bennet is inclined to silence presently, and no one else knows what transpired. If anyone inquires, I will lead them to believe Lizzy spent the night here alone. I trust you will think of another place you might have been overnight to discourage suspicion and protect my friend’s reputation.”

I caught my jaw before it dropped. But only just.

Dazed with disbelief, I asked, “You are convinced this is the best course for Miss Elizabeth’s sake?”

“I would rather see my friend happy than trapped.”

The smile Elizabeth gave Miss Lucas shattered my heart. I was speechless. Just when I thought I had learned humility, my pride suffered another lowering blow.

Mrs. Bennet turned to me. “Since you refuse to converse with anyone outside your party, I trust you to hold your tongue at Netherfield Park. I will be seriously displeased if this interferes with my Jane’s prospects with Mr. Bingley.”

Her petition was the final blow. Not only did she throw my tendency toward silence in my face as another unforgivable flaw, she implied I might initiate gossip that would ruin her least favorite daughter and, by extension, her sisters.

Reduced to a new low, repenting of every one of my squandered opportunities to converse with Bingley’s neighbors or dance with someone other than my party, desiring to have done something—anything—to have made a better impression, I nodded, my head heavy on my shoulders.

I felt Elizabeth’s hand on my arm. “Mama.”

Mrs. Bennet huffed and looked away.

Elizabeth continued, “Mama, I do not expect you to speak to me, but I beg you to hear me. You too, Charlotte. Pray do not think so poorly of Mr. Darcy. It is true he gave an unfavorable first impression, but you know appearances are often deceiving. Is your trust in his word that my reputation and virtue are safe not proof of his integrity? His propriety and respect for me are the only reasons I have this freedom that you so lovingly grant me. Had I been trapped with anyone else, I am sure you would not, in good conscience, have made the same decision.”

She looked at me then, sincerity etched in her countenance. Hope sparked in my chest.

Miss Lucas nodded. “I am pleased to hear you have altered your opinion of the gentleman.” There was no warmth in her tone, but I would have sworn there was a gleam in her eyes.

I managed a small smile to convey appreciation for her defense of my character, once again ashamed at the reputation of arrogance I had rightfully earned.

It was time I got to work and changed it. I could not start soon enough to content myself.

To Elizabeth, I said, “I shall step outside while Mrs. Bennet assists you to dress.”

Mrs. Bennet balked, causing me to explain, “Her ankle is not broken, but it is badly sprained. Although your daughter does not complain, I assure you that she is in a great deal of pain.”

The disapproving pinch in Mrs. Bennet’s countenance melted away, swiftly replaced with maternal concern. She reached for her daughter. “Oh, my foolish girl! Let your mother help you. Keep your foot elevated while I help you into your gown.”

I closed the door behind me, feeling Miss Lucas’s perceptive eyes watching me. It felt disconcerting. I held my tongue, not knowing what to say but wishing she would turn her gaze elsewhere.

“You admire her,” she said plainly.

I did not prevaricate. “More than anyone else.” Never in my life had I felt more certain of anything.

Elizabeth was a lady worth winning. That her friends were fiercely loyal to her only recommended her further. If I could earn Elizabeth’s good opinion, her admiration, her heart, I would move mountains to make her the happiest woman to walk on the earth.

Miss Lucas’s mouth tilted upward. “You have your work cut out for you, sir.”

Lord, did I know it!