Page 10

CHAPTER 10

N o sooner had I begun to consider what a friendship with Elizabeth might mean than she put an end to my internal monologue. “What moved you to accept Sir William’s invitation to call at Lucas Lodge?” she asked conversationally.

More at ease in her company, I replied, “He and his son invited me to see the newest acquisition to their stables. They have been kind neighbors to Bingley. I wished to call on Sir William to prove to him… and myself… that I have not become a complete boor.”

She smiled at me. “That was kind, though I will reassure you on one point: Sir William is much like Mr. Bingley in his tendency to think well of everyone. I doubt there is anything you could have done that would make him think poorly of you.”

“He is kinder than most.”

My comment’s effect was contrary to what I had intended; it did not inspire Elizabeth to smile.

Instead, she chewed on the corners of her lips again. It occurred to me that she did this whenever she was anxious. “He is kinder than I have been. Mr. Darcy, I must apologize. I mocked you to my family and friends… to whoever might lend their support to me and turn against you, a stranger and newcomer. I regret the damage I might have done to your reputation here, sir.”

So intent had I been on my apology to her, I had never imagined she might have a reason to apologize to me. The reciprocity soothed my conscience even more than her forgiveness did, and I was grateful for it. “If your neighbors turn against me, it is because I gave them reason to think unfavorably of me. It is not a condition without remedy, and I ascribe none of the blame to you.”

She nibbled on her bottom lip and then tried to stick out her hand but thought better of it when the blanket slipped down her bare shoulder. “Shall we imitate Sir William and focus instead on each other’s merits, Mr. Darcy? May we start over with a fresh slate wiped clean of all our offenses and misunderstandings?”

I could conceive of nothing I would like better and told her so.

With a deep breath, she smiled. I wondered if she felt half as content as I did. “Now that I have gained your improved opinion”— really, she must have no idea how highly I held her in my estimation —“I shall divulge the reason I was caught walking alone in this tremendous storm.” She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “I, too, was on my way to Lucas Lodge. I meant to call on Charlotte but discovered Mr. Collins is now a guest in her home. Having only refused his offer of marriage yesterday, I did not feel my presence desirable.”

Would that I have been a fly on the wall to overhear that conversation! “You really refused him?”

“Most resolutely.”

As I could well imagine! I should not have smiled, but I did. “Was that why you were not wearing a coat when we met by the hedgerow?”

Her cheeks reddened. “I was irate. He did not believe me at first, and then he dared to insult me by declaring I teased him to increase his suspense. As if I did not thoroughly know my own mind!”

I had never met a young lady so confident of her own thoughts as Elizabeth Bennet. Even when she was wrong, her conviction was fierce.

“My mother claimed she would never speak to me again, and she has kept her word.”

“She was not moved by the scratches on your arms and hands?”

“You spared me from the thorns’ marks too well. The few scratches I did receive were not enough to move her to sympathy when she considers me to be the source of our family’s ruin.” She nodded at my bare hands. “I see the salve has soothed the welts.”

I bit my tongue and nodded, unwilling to relinquish the memento sitting safely in my waistcoat pocket. Her handkerchief smelled like her hair, and I liked the smoothness of the purple pansy stitched on the corner. Had Elizabeth not been sitting in front of me, I probably would have pulled it out and run my finger over the thread.

I had not given the delicate flower much consideration until recently, but pansies were admirable plants. They traced the edges of the fields long after harvest, surviving the downpours and braving early frosts. They defied the elements with a bold hue that refused to conform to the drab landscape. They were charming in their impertinence… much like Elizabeth herself.

Right now, she looked so delicate under the folds of the blanket, so troubled. “I worry about my sisters.”

I wished I could console her, but she had ample reasons to worry. With their home entailed and the lack of meaningful dowries, the Bennet sisters had little that would recommend them to gentlemen of their station even if the younger managed to avoid ruin before the elder married.

An offer from me would ensure another from Bingley, which would cast the remaining sisters in a more favorable light… provided they sought guidance from one qualified to instruct them. Considering the length of time Elizabeth and I had been enclosed in the small cabin together, I was already planning to do the honorable thing and propose to her. Unfortunately, I was no longer confident she would accept—at least, not to save her own reputation. And I did not want her to marry me merely to protect her sisters from ruin. I wanted more.

It was a risk, but I decided to trust her. “If there is one skill I have had the unhappy responsibility to develop, it is salvaging a reputation from ruin.”

Though she was too polite to ask, her eyes pleaded for more. I liked that about her. Her expressions were open, honest. I would afford her the same insight into my character.

I began cautiously. “I do not know what Wickham has told you about my family.”

“He told me you denied him his inheritance,” she responded with a perplexed furrow of her brow.

“That is only partly true. He sold his inheritance. For three thousand pounds.”

She gasped.

“It was more than I ought to have given him, but he was my father’s godson and had been my childhood friend. I hoped he would use the sum wisely. However, not five years later, during which I heard nothing from him, he showed his face at Pemberley to appeal for more money. When I refused, he schemed to elope with my little sister.”

Another gasp.

I added, “Georgiana’s dowry is thirty thousand pounds. She was only fifteen.”

Elizabeth gripped the blanket around her, her eyes ablaze. “And Lydia is but fifteen. It is indecent! To prey on young innocents… It is sickening!” She shivered. “How can I trust my own judgment when I did not suspect his hypocrisy?”

How quickly she had redirected her anger away from the one deserving of it! I could not allow her to assume any blame. “You would not be the first to be deceived by him.”

“And you cannot reveal his deceit without exposing your sister. I doubted your character on nothing more than the lies of a selfish man you had thwarted from ruining your family.”

So drastic was her change of opinion in my favor, I needed to be certain her conclusion was based on substance. “I have given you no proof other than my word, much as Wickham must have done. Why do you believe me now?”

“He confided a great deal in me when we were only newly acquainted, and I foolishly believed everything he said without seeking evidence that his character was trustworthy.” Her hands gestured under the covers, threatening to displace them until she gripped the edges around her face again. “You, on the other hand, led everyone to think little of you when you refused to engage in conversation, yet your actions since the Netherfield Ball prove you are the superior gentleman. I would not feel so safe here in your company here otherwise.”

She paused. “Or am I wrong about you, too, Mr. Darcy?” There was a plea in her look. Falling for Wickham’s deception had, understandably, shaken the confidence she had in her judgement.

“I would never harm you or endanger your reputation.” I had exposed my faults and frailties to her, leaving nothing more to reveal than my growing regard for her.

She tilted her chin. “You are an intelligent man, and yet you allow people to think ill of you. Why?”

I shook my head and took a deep breath. Not even to Richard had I confessed my motive. “It is the only way I am allowed any peace.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You sound like my father.”

The comparison was not flattering. “It is no secret that I am an unmarried gentleman from a good family and in possession of a large fortune.”

She nodded.

From her perspective, what I was about to tell her would sound like the quibblings of a privileged dandy—or worse, a defenseless victim. I hoped she would see the humor in what I had endured and would not think less of me for it. Speaking through a clenched jaw, I proclaimed in a severe tone, “This season alone, I escaped from three artfully contrived compromises.”

She froze, her expression too diverse to read with accuracy until she burst into laughter. “Oh, the irony!” Snuggling into her blanket, she clasped her hands under her chin. “Pray enlighten me on how high society attempts to compromise a gentleman and how you skillfully evaded their traps! Clearly, there is much I could learn from them.”

I embraced her humor with both hands. “Very well, I shall begin with the first attempt, as they escalate in deviousness in chronological order.”

She nodded approvingly. “Any lady accomplished in the art of contrivance ought to possess a healthy measure of deviousness. I am all anticipation!”

My lips twitched, and I struggled to recall my last season with the same ire I had felt moments ago. “The first lady proclaimed herself faint from lack of fresh air at a crowded ball. I took her out to the balcony for a turn, certain of her true intention once I noticed the couples who had been there only moments before had disappeared. What was more, the torches had been snuffed, leaving the balcony dark. Before I could retreat back to the ballroom, she fainted.”

“Oh, how delightful! Of course, you had to catch her.”

I tipped my head at her.

She continued, more circumspect. “As I thought. Why should the lady suffer an injury if she can inflict greater damage on the reputation of the gentleman with whom she presumes to form an attachment?”

I stopped trying not to smile. “What she did not know was that earlier I had sensed something was amiss and took defensive measures. When the young lady suggested a turn on the balcony, I had signaled for my cousin Richard to follow us.”

“You have mentioned him before. Are you very close?”

My smile widened. “Richard is my dearest friend and comrade. Were we not related, I would wish to claim him as family. He is only two years my senior, but he lords it over me with the increased wisdom and experience his superior age has granted him. We have saved each other from numerous scrapes over the years. I trust him implicitly.”

“I hope to meet him some day.”

“There is a good chance you will. He has threatened to join Bingley’s party several times. He would like you.”

Elizabeth would like him, too. I tried not to be jealous.

“It is pleasant to be liked. Pray, how did he save you from this first compromise?”

“He jumped out of the shadows and offered to take my place, so long as the young lady was agreeable to the exchange.”

Elizabeth’s laughter trilled. “He is a bold one! Did she accept?”

“As agreeable as he is, Richard has no fortune or title, being the second son of my uncle, the Earl of Matlock.”

She bunched her cheeks and shook her head. “She will regret refusing him when her rich, entitled husband gambles away his fortune and loses his hair.”

“No doubt. I will have you know that the men in the Darcy line are well known for their thick hair and wise investments.”

She laughed. “Duly noted. What about the second attempt? I presume it was not as clumsily done as the first?”

“Not at all. I consider it a masterful example of trickery.”

“Excellent!” She rubbed her hands together. “Do tell!”

“I was invited to attend a garden party… where I would have been the only guest. Had my indispensable valet not learned of the plot and informed me, I would have gone.”

Elizabeth tsked. “If I were that lady, I would dismiss all my servants for spoiling my scheme before it even had a chance to be realized. How disappointing!”

“You think that is disappointing? I thought it quite clever, though I clearly do not approve of such methods.”

She cupped her chin in her hand, her focus solely on me. “That is all?”

“What?! You wish for more? Was that not dastardly enough?”

She laughed. “Oh no, sir! Were I so inclined, I would think of a dozen worse ways to ensnare an unwilling gentleman!”

I did not doubt it. She had not even tried, and I suddenly realized she had successfully captured me. My heart tripped in my chest.

Clearing my throat and redirecting my thoughts before they took root, I launched into the final tale. “The mother of the third lady slipped a powder into my wine glass at a dinner party. Sadly for her, in her haste, she fumbled the glass and spilled the contents all over the tablecloth.”

So irate had I been, so fiercely had I protected my independence, I had never appreciated the humor in these situations until Elizabeth’s laughter filled the room. I laughed with her, anticipating other ways I might please her.

In conclusion, I said, “I dared not drink anything for the rest of the evening. Indeed, it rather put me off liquids of any sort for the remainder of the season.”

Elizabeth’s smile faded. “After having received such deceitful treatment, it is no wonder you are not eager to befriend others. But, Mr. Darcy, if I am overly trusting, then you are too suspicious! Do you mean to suspect all society of plotting to manipulate you because of the machinations of only a few?”

She was right, and I could not do otherwise than admit it after she had admitted her own fault so freely. “It is true; I do not trust easily.”

Silence filled the room. My mind was full of uncertainty. Although I wanted her to understand me, I feared I had revealed too much.

“And yet you have confided in me. Mr. Darcy, you have apologized to me more than once, and I forgive you with all my heart, but I am not without fault. Because I was so eager to justify my prejudiced opinion of you, I became a receptive audience for a man who did not deserve my confidence. I spoke unkindly about you to my family and neighbors. I helped him spread his lies, no doubt as he intended. I cannot think upon my behavior without feeling ashamed of myself and realizing how I would have acted had I been more sensible. I am so sorry for the harm I have done to your name. An apology feels insufficient, and yet I have nothing else to offer.”

“Please, Miss Elizabeth…” There was so much I wished to say that the words piled up between my mind and my tongue. I grabbed the only fragments that had crossed the dam. “Let us not dwell on the past. Let us… be friends?”