Page 60 of Once a Villain (Only a Monster #3)

Aaron stretched his leg slightly, until his foot was almost touching Joan’s. And that was horrible too—none of them could even touch each other anymore. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” His voice always softened when he was talking to her. “It wasn’t like this in the true timeline.”

“Eleanor took revenge on you too.” Joan heard the sober note in her own voice. “You were always supposed to be the head of

the Oliver family, and instead your mother was murdered and you were... well...” Aaron didn’t like to talk about his

father’s treatment of him, she knew.

“You were what?” Nick said to Aaron.

Aaron was still blinking at Joan, as if he hadn’t quite made that connection. Now he looked at Nick, a little wide-eyed. “ Are you going to react to that stuff from earlier?” His tone was half a dare. “Are you going to say anything at all?”

“About which part? The part where you slept with Joan, or the part where you apparently slept with me?”

It was Aaron’s turn to flush red. “I don’t know.”

Despite Aaron’s I dare you tone, he was scared of Nick, Joan realized. Not just because Nick had been the legendary monster slayer from his childhood

stories, but because Nick was big and dangerous and difficult to read, and because it was so complicated between them all.

But Nick had never laid a finger on Joan, and she knew—she didn’t know how, but she knew —he’d never hurt Aaron either. She found herself remembering when they’d captured Aaron to interrogate him. The others had

pushed him around, but Nick had been almost gentle with him. And was that some remnant feeling from the true timeline? From when they’d all been allies?

“Both,” Aaron said now. “Either.”

“What does it even matter to you what I think?” Nick said.

Aaron opened his mouth to say something, and then stopped, as if he wasn’t sure why, but it did matter to him. He wanted to know what Nick was thinking and feeling.

For some reason, the look on his face made Nick frown thoughtfully, as if he hadn’t delved into his own feelings. As if he might not have if Aaron hadn’t kept asking. “I—I don’t know how I feel,” he said slowly.

“Pretty fucked up, to be honest. It’s not just all the stuff between us. I think I actually did die yesterday. And that’s

really messing with me.”

Joan swallowed. She still could barely believe Nick was actually alive. She wanted desperately to touch him, to comfort him,

but she didn’t have the right anymore. “I’ve never felt relief like that,” she said to him shakily. “When you took that first

breath after being in the stasis...” Even now, she could have just sat here and watched him breathe forever. She felt Aaron

react to the emotion in her voice, and she swallowed again, her throat tighter this time.

Nick met her gaze, and Joan’s breath hitched just at the eye contact. If he ended things after this conversation, she’d never

get over it. She’d never get over him . She’d felt the same when Aaron had pushed her away at the pub.

Nick’s gaze turned to Aaron. “You and me in another lifetime, huh?” It was a bit shaky.

“Hard to believe, I know,” Aaron said tightly. He’d gone tense again.

“A little,” Nick admitted. The silence was filled by the rush of water through the bridge’s supports. Even here, in the attic above the fourth floor, it was as loud as a storm.

“I don’t understand it,” Aaron said. “Your counterpart and mine couldn’t have been from more different worlds. And...”

He hesitated. “You’re you . The mythical hero from my childhood stories—the one who kills my kind.”

“That’s not Nick anymore,” Joan said. “That wasn’t who he was. Eleanor turned him into that.” And Joan had undone her work. She’d turned him back into something like the guy he’d have been

in the true timeline.

“But I must have still been me ,” Aaron said. His tone said: a piece of shit .

Did Aaron really think of himself like that? Every now and then, he hinted that he did. But Joan had seen the heart of him.

She knew what his sharp edges concealed. “Haven’t you seen the pattern?” she said to him.

“The pattern?”

“You and Nick are so similar. You were both part of the peace talks in the original timeline. And in this timeline, you were working together to rescue humans. And now you’re both about to break into the Monster Court—to try to

save the world again .”

Aaron’s mouth opened slightly. He hadn’t seen it like that at all. He started to speak and then frowned, as if trying to think

it through. “I wouldn’t just do that, though. I know myself. I would have fallen in love first, and then wanted to do right by them.”

“You weren’t in love with either of us in the true timeline,” Joan said. “And you still agreed to stop taking human life.”

“I think I was,” Aaron said, almost to himself. “I saw the way I looked at you, Joan—in that scene in the true timeline. I don’t look at people like that.” His eyes widened as if he’d just realized something else. He flicked a look at Nick.

Joan stared at him. Aaron hadn’t said it, but she could guess at his thoughts. You would have made sense together, like you did in every timeline , he’d said last night, and his eyes had gone distant as if he’d been watching Joan and Nick from afar. And now he suspected

that he’d had feelings for Joan and Nick in the original timeline. He believed that they’d been unrequited.

He always thought that. He’d thought he and Nick must have been together in this timeline because Joan was dead. That he and

Joan had gotten together because Nick was dead.

Joan swallowed. She was beginning to suspect that there was something more to the story for Aaron. She remembered his pained

disbelief when she’d told him she loved him. The way he’d dismissed the love note from Nick’s counterpart. And then she thought

of how his father had publicly mocked him every time Joan had seen them together. Of his stark little room in the servants’

quarters, far away from the rest of the family.

Was there something in Aaron that made him feel inherently less than ?

Joan’s chest hurt at the thought. Didn’t he know that he could have had anyone he wanted?

Anyone but you , she imagined him saying now to her.

But he was the one who’d pushed her away at the pub.

She’d told him she’d chosen him, and he’d told her: I won’t hold you to it .

We should pretend that last night didn’t happen .

She’d begged him— I need you ! Aaron, please !

— and he’d told her that it would be Nick again in the next timeline.

That she and Aaron would forget each other.

Nick was searching Aaron’s face too now, as if he’d heard some of the same unsaid words that Joan had.

“We’re all tangled up together... ,” Joan said softly.

Aaron looked away. “ You’re tangled up together. And I’m... I don’t know... The timeline makes sure you find each other in every iteration. You

and Nick belong together.”

Jamie had once described the way that the timeline worked. The Lius believe that our timeline still tries to return to its true shape—still yearns for the shape of the true timeline.

We believe that if people belonged together in the true timeline, then our timeline tries to repair itself by bringing them

together. Over and over and over. Until the rift is healed.

Eleanor had used that mechanism in her revenge on Joan and Nick. She’d made Nick into a monster slayer, knowing that the timeline

would push him toward Joan again, but that instead of loving her, he’d try to kill her. It hadn’t quite worked. They’d still

fallen in love.

Outside, the river seemed to stretch forever—to the horizon and beyond. Joan bit her lip, remembering the night they’d all

met. She and Nick had been at Holland House when the Olivers had arrived, appearing from thin air as if they’d stepped from

invisible doors. It was the first time Joan had ever seen anyone time-travel. It had seemed a strange coincidence at the time

that the Olivers had appeared on the very night that Joan had learned she was a monster. But now Joan wondered if something

more had been going on.

Because in the next timeline, Aaron had found Joan and Nick again. He’d forgotten them, but he’d found them. Even in the timeline where Joan had been dead, Aaron and Nick had come together.

The timeline makes sure you find each other in every iteration.

“Have you ever noticed,” Joan said, “that we all keep finding each other? In every timeline since the first one, we’ve ended up in the same place.”

Aaron’s eyes widened at that, and Nick’s too. Why hadn’t any of them realized that until now?

“It’s more than that,” Nick said slowly. “You’ve fallen for Aaron in multiple timelines now.”

Joan felt her mouth fall open. She hadn’t put that together. “Yes,” she said. And Aaron was really staring now, as if he didn’t

think that could possibly be true.

“You’re still in love with him now,” Nick said. It was a flat statement. He knew it.

“Yes,” Joan said, and she heard Aaron’s breath hitch.

“You’re still in love with me ,” Nick said to Joan.

“Yes,” Joan said again. She felt Aaron react beside her again, and she clenched her hands into fists.

“And we’re both in love with her ,” Nick said to Aaron.

Joan took a shaky breath. She hadn’t been sure that was still true. But Nick had said he loved her earlier. And now Aaron

nodded. He still loved her too.

Joan was hit with an emotion she couldn’t even define.

It wasn’t relief, exactly. But she’d been sure that she was going to lose them both today.

That she’d already lost them. And maybe she had—everything felt so tangled between them—but there was something warmer in the room; something less sad than there’d been even a moment ago.

Outside, the sun was rising in the sky. From this angle, the river seemed almost blue. It felt like a whole day had passed

since they’d found Nick alive again, but it was still morning.

Nick’s words were still echoing between them, loud in the silence. And in that echo, a possibility dawned on Joan.

She wasn’t the only one who’d had the thought. Nick’s eyes darkened as she looked at him, and Aaron swallowed visibly, his

throat moving as she turned to him . As they looked at each other, Joan felt a flutter of warmth run through her and her heartbeat quickened. The air between

them all felt charged suddenly with something that hadn’t been there before. Something like the first glimpse of a new day.

“Knock knock!” someone said outside the door, and Joan jumped. Beside her, Aaron swore under his breath.

Ruth pushed the door open, Jamie and Tom following her in. Their gazes flew to Nick, where he sat on the floor, alive and

breathing. “So... ,” Ruth said. “What did we miss?”

Aaron cleared his throat. His cheeks were flushed. And when had that happened? “Uh...” He ran a hand through his hair. The gesture ruffled it, making an uncharacteristic mess. He looked at

Nick, a little wide-eyed, silently asking for help.

Nick gathered himself with visible effort. “Seems like our next stop is the Monster Court. We’re breaking in. Tonight. ”

Joan wet her dry lips. “I think you might be breaking in,” she said apologetically to Ruth. Ruth had broken them out last time. Hopefully, the process was reversible.

“Well,” Tom said, looking between them all, “sounds like we have a lot to talk about.”