Page 34 of Once a Villain (Only a Monster #3)

“And then we need to stop her from locking the timeline,” Ruth said, “so we can seize control of it ourselves.”

“And restore it to something better,” Nick said.

Joan took a deep breath. That would mean killing Eleanor. When Eleanor had seized control of the timeline, she’d had to kill the King. Joan remembered now how blood had pooled under his body; how the timeline curled away from him after his death, twining itself around Eleanor.

But Tom’s interjection— we need to physically get to her —had made her think of something else too. Tom hadn’t actually declared a side yet.

“Does this mean you’re going to work with us?” she asked Tom. “Have you decided?”

Tom hesitated a moment longer than Joan would have liked. “I suppose I’m leaning toward it.”

“He’ll help.” Jamie sounded tired. Tom blinked at him. “Oh, come on, you will,” Jamie said. “You know that this will be our

one and only chance to stop her. If she locks the timeline, it’ll be all over. You’ll never get another opportunity because

the timeline will be locked, with her as Queen. With this world as a horror.”

“You say that like we share the same cause,” Tom said to him. “I don’t have causes.”

“Of course you do. You’ve been helping Marguerite—who you know has been working against the Court.”

“She pays well,” Tom said. But he frowned, gaze introspective, as if he’d never really delved into his own reasoning for working

against the Court.

“Tom... you’re not one to join teams,” Jamie said. “You’d rather keep to yourself. But you haven’t been.”

Tom’s frown deepened. “No Hathaway has love for the Court,” he said. “And... I suppose I sometimes feel like...” He trailed off as if he didn’t know what he felt. Then he shook his head. “It’s as you say: the Hathaways prefer to be alone.”

“And yet, you feel like there’s an absence in your life,” Joan said. Tom’s eyes snapped to hers. Joan bit her lip. She hadn’t

meant to say that—it had just come out. She knew how it felt, though. When she’d met Nick, it was like she’d been missing

him her whole life. “You lost Jamie once before. You’d lost him when I first met you—and you went to the ends of the earth

to get him back. You’d have done anything . You helped me break into the Monster Court itself. And... I think you feel something’s missing from your life now. I think some part of you has been looking for him here too.”

Doubt and belief warred in Tom’s expression as if Joan’s words had struck a chord. Joan understood that too. It was so strange

to unconsciously remember something. To feel memories in the body rather than in the mind. To know things that you shouldn’t

have known.

Aaron said slowly now, “You said before that the Hathaways have no allies. But in our world, you had the Liu family. Yours

were the closest of all the allied families. You had houses together on the waterways. The Hathaways were never alone.”

Tom swallowed visibly, eyes flicking to Jamie. There was still doubt there, but he asked Jamie now, “What was your house motto

again? You said it before....”

“ Bù jī kuǐ bù, wú yǐ zhì qiān lǐ; bù jī xiǎo liú, wú yǐ chéng jiāng hǎi .

It means that without taking small steps, you cannot journey a thousand miles. And without gathering small streams, you cannot

form—”

“—oceans and seas,” Tom said, and Jamie drew a sharp breath.

“Yes,” Jamie whispered. “Your family and ours are so bound that even our motto referenced yours.”

“I don’t know that language.”

Jamie swallowed. “You used to speak it. Tom, I swear to you, this world is not supposed to exist. This timeline is just wrong .”

Tom hesitated, and then said slowly, “I assume that the Queen will have three layers of security. The physical security of

the building, then her own personal retinue of guards, and then her own powers.” Jamie gave him a grateful look, and Tom sighed.

“This won’t be easy,” Tom said. “I’ve been to the colosseum before, but not during a jubilee. I don’t know what to expect

either.”

Won’t be easy was an understatement. The physical security of the building was likely to be the least of their problems. If Eleanor had

anything like the King’s power now, Joan could imagine her tearing open the timeline to throw them all into the void, or sending

them back to the Paleolithic period with a wave of her hand. And even if they got past all her levels of security, they’d

still have to actually stop her from locking the timeline. They’d need to somehow restore the timeline and fix what she’d

done here.

“We have two weeks,” Ruth said. “We should get some rest.”

Tom nodded, but his gaze turned inexorably to Jamie. “Can I talk to you?” he murmured. “Alone?”

Jamie nodded, his eyes glistening in the low light.

Tom tilted his head. “Will you come for a walk with me?”

Joan scrubbed her hands tiredly over her face. When she looked up again, she realized that Ruth and Aaron had slipped away too. Only she and Nick were left in the room—still sitting at the table together.

“Hi,” he murmured.

“Hi,” Joan said. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she looked up at his handsome, square-jawed profile. She’d always

felt the pull of him, and sitting right here, beside him, the space between them felt warmer suddenly. They’d almost kissed

less than an hour ago....

He bit back a small smile. “I missed you.”

“We were sitting right next to each other,” Joan said, smiling a little herself. But she knew what he meant. You feel like there’s an absence in your life , she’d said to Tom.

She’d known that because she’d felt it too. Nick’s absence had been a hole inside her, even before they’d met. She’d loved

him from the moment she first saw him. And afterward... when they’d been torn apart... she’d yearned for him still—never

believing she could actually be with him.

But here he was. They’d somehow found their way back to each other.

Joan reached for him now, needing the physical proof of it, and Nick pulled her into his arms. She felt him draw a deep breath,

arms tightening as if he needed the proof of her too.

She wasn’t sure how long they sat like that before Nick took another breath and said, a little reluctantly, “There’s something we should talk about.

” His tone was so serious that Joan felt herself stiffening.

“Nothing bad,” he said quickly. “Just...” He shifted back a little so that he could look into her eyes.

“We haven’t talked about what happens after we stop Eleanor. ”

Joan’s heart stuttered strangely. They had talked about that. He’d told her that their paths would diverge. He’d fight for humans, and she’d still be half-monster.

His eyes were very soft. “Joan... if we kill Eleanor, we’ll be able to mold a new timeline. We’ll have an opportunity to

make something good . The kind of world our original selves dreamed of,where monsters and humans are at peace.”

Joan felt her mouth drop open. Some part of her had just assumed they’d revert the timeline to something as near to the previous

one as they could manage. She hadn’t considered that they could actually mold it with intention.

He was right, though, she realized. They could forge something better.

But... the thought of it creeped her out to the core. “Molding the timeline to your will means molding people ,” she whispered. “That’s what Eleanor did. It just seems wrong.”

“But we could make something so much better,” Nick said, still earnest. “I can see it so clearly. We’d save so many lives,

help so many people.”

“I...” Her emotions were a whirlwind right now—she loved him so much. But she was so tired. It was hard to think through

the implications of what he was saying. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

Nick’s eyes softened more. “Of course.” He pushed her hair from her face, and Joan turned into his touch, closing her eyes

as exhaustion washed over her. “Let’s sleep on it.”

As tired as Joan was, though, she lingered in the library after even Nick had gone to bed.

The unbroken cipher was still nagging at her, even though she was sure Jamie and Tom were correct about Eleanor’s plans. She

had a strong feeling that the message from Nick’s counterpart was critical somehow. That they had to crack it before they went up against Eleanor.

She worked through three more shelves of books before exhaustion truly overwhelmed her. Tomorrow , she told herself. They’d crack that code tomorrow.

Aaron had arranged separate rooms for them all. Joan had no idea when he’d done that, but she was grateful. Last night, she’d

been glad to have everyone around her, but tonight she just needed some time to herself.

The bedrooms ran along a hallway, with views to the west of the estate. Joan walked slowly down the corridor, exhaustion making

her legs feel lead-weighted. As she reached her door, footsteps sounded behind her—someone else was heading to bed too. They

hadn’t been in the library; they must have come in from a walk outside.

It was Aaron. He paused for a moment when he saw her, and then continued on, avoiding her eyes as he walked past her.

Joan hesitated, a hand still raised to push open her door. For a second, she had the urge to just go into her room. To ignore

the unsettled feeling that had been roiling in the pit of her stomach since Aaron had seen her and Nick on the hill. But as

Aaron reached the end of the corridor, she found herself blurting, “Aaron, wait .”

He slowed to a stop and turned to face her.

Along the wall, sconce lamps spilled soft light into the hall.

It was otherwise an intimidating space, the wallpaper dark green with gold edges, the carpet plush and black.

Aaron often seemed out of place when they were out on the street, but not here.

He matched the wealth on display, the light turning his hair to burnished gold.

“Are you well?” he said stiffly. “Still grounded?”

Joan wished suddenly that she hadn’t stopped him. She’d wanted to clear the air, but it felt right now as if there was no air in the corridor at all. “Yes,” she

said. “I guess I just needed to eat.”

His eyes roved over her face before dropping to the carpet. “You must tell me if anything changes. Even the most subtle muting

of sound, or—or of touch, could be significant.”

Joan swallowed. He always looked out for her. It had taken her a long time to realize that. At first, it had seemed as if

he was just paying off a debt, but then he’d kept looking out for her, long beyond that.

She thought again of his expression on that hill. Do you have feelings for me? she wanted to say. That had seemed so unlikely when they’d first met. She and Aaron hadn’t gotten along.They’d come from

such different backgrounds—Joan from ordinary human suburbia, Aaron from the monster world and almost unimaginable wealth.

Some part of Joan still thought it was unlikely. His wealth aside, his beauty was startling. She’d never seen anyone like

him,in real life or in movies. Aaron could have had anyone .

Lately, though, she’d begun to notice how his sharp edges softened when he was with her. How he turned to her first when he entered a room. And then on the hill... the way he’d looked at her...

“Aaron—”

“I do not wish to speak of it.”

She felt her chest spasm again, unexpectedly. “Okay.”

He shifted his weight, and she expected him to continue to his bedchamber without saying anything more. But instead he put

a hand carefully on the wall as if for balance. “I am glad that you reconciled with him,” he said. His gray eyes lifted to

hers again, and his expression made her heart wrench. “I heard everything that Eleanor said at the end. You and Nick were

together in the zhēnshí de lìshǐ . The timeline itself will always bring you back together. And... I’ve seen you with him; I’ve seen how you look at him.

I have no illusions. I know that, for you, it will always be Nick. Even if he turns against us after we defeat Eleanor, it

will always be him for you.”