Page 6 of Omega's Faith

My mother shifts beside me, her lavender scent spiking with concern. She must sense something's wrong. She's always been able to read me like an open book.

I keep my eyes fixed on the stained-glass window behind Pastor David's head.

Ninety-six-point two percent.

Dad's solid presence anchors my other side, his scent steady as always. Beyond him, my oldest brother Robert sits with his wife and three kids. All my siblings are here with their families—Corinne bouncing her newest babe on her knee, James’s wrestling quietly with his twins.

Perfect matches, every one of them. The alphas in our family are normal, stable alphas who work regular jobs and come home for dinner. Our omegas are dutiful and build wonderful homes and families.

None of them are anything like Alexander Colborne.

Bile rises in my throat. I swallow hard.

The choir starts up, voices rising in perfect harmony. "Amazing Grace." I mouth the words but no sound comes out.My throat is too tight.

God wouldn't give me more than I can handle.

That's what Mom always says. But God also gave Job boils and killed his entire family to win a bet with Satan, so maybe God's just got a messed-up sense of humor.

The service ends with Pastor David's usual call to resist temptation, to hold fast to our values. I stand with everyone else, legs shaky. Mom touches my elbow.

"You alright, sweetheart? You look pale."

"I'm fine." Look at me. I’ve been matched to Colborne for under twenty-four hours and I’m already lying to my own mother. "Actually, I wanted to talk to Pastor David about something. I'll walk home after?"

Dad nods, already shepherding my nieces and nephews toward the door. "Don't be too long. Your mother's making pot roast."

I wait while the congregation files out, accepting hugs from church ladies who smell like potpourri.

Pastor David is straightening hymnals when I approach. He's been our pastor for my entire life. He married my parents, baptized all us kids, then he married my siblings. His hair is more gray than brown now, deep lines etched around his eyes. I know people can think he’s a bit too heavy on the old fire and brimstone, but he is the most strongly moral person I know. Life isn’t always meant to be easy. That’s why people like Pastor David exist. They’re there to guide you when you are lost. And right now, I am so lost I have no idea what direction I am meant to take.

"Jonah." He smiles, warm and fatherly. "What can I do for you, son?"

"I need to talk to you about something." My voice cracks like I'm thirteen again. "Privately?"

His expression shifts to concern. "Of course. Come to myoffice."

I've been in his office dozens of times, with my mother to talk about the church fete, to volunteer for service at the soup kitchen, accompanying my dad when they talk about fundraising. My family has always been close to the church. The familiar surroundings should be comforting. Instead, the walls feel too close.

"Sit." Pastor David settles behind his desk, fingers steepled. "What's troubling you?"

I pull out the letter with trembling fingers. "I got matched."

His face lights up. "Jonah! That's wonderful news!"

I place the letter in front of him on his desk and watch his expression crumble as he reads the name.

"Oh." The single word carries the weight of understanding.

Pastor David stands and moves around the desk to sit in the chair beside mine. Up close, I can see the liver spots on his hands and the way his collar is slightly frayed at the edges. Concern is written all over his face.

I want to cry. I can’t do this. I don’t want to marry Alexander Colborne. He is not a good man or a good alpha. I shut my eyes like a child who thinks that it makes the world go away.

"Jonah." His voice is gentle but firm. "Take a breath."

I do. It doesn't help.

"I know this isn't what you hoped for," he continues. "Alexander Colborne is... troubled. Lost to God. But perhaps that's exactly why he was chosen for you."