Page 47 of Omega's Faith

"There's nothing to remember. The food is incredible, I'm just—"

"I was being too presumptuous," he says, and there's something anxious in his tone now. "After how I behaved during the heat, I'm trying too hard to compensate—"

"That's not—" I start, but his words make me pause.

Heistrying to compensate. He’s trying to be the "proper" omega after being so bossy during his heat. He thinks he needs to make up wanting what he wanted. He doesn’t realize how normal that is.

"Jonah, we need to talk."

"Yes." He sets the plate in the sink with a clatter, then turns back to face me. His entire demeanor changes. The anxiety melts away, replaced by something bright and hopeful. "Yes, we do. About the possibility that I might be pregnant. I know that I belong with my alpha but I’d like our children to spend at least a little time with my family too. We haven’t really discussed child-rearing."

My coffee mug freezes halfway to my lips. "What?"

" =The timing is perfect, actually." A real smile spreads across his face, the first genuine one I've seen. "Peak fertility during a heat, and we certainly..." He blushes. "You didn't hold back. We might have made a baby, Alex."

My mind goes completely blank except for one thought racing in circles:Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"You're not on contraception," I say, and it comes out as a statement rather than a question. Ofcourse, he isn’t. I really am an idiot.

Someone like Jonah probably doesn’t even know what it is. And if he does, I’m guessing he thinks it’s a sin to take it.

I should have thought of it, but I was too distracted by the feeling of Jonah under me, on top of me. Nothing but the insanely wonderful feeling of being inside him hour after glorious hour.

His smile falters slightly. "No. Why would I be?"

"Jesus Christ." I push back from the counter, running both hands through my hair. "I didn't even think... God, I'm an idiot."

“Don’t blaspheme.”

I stare at him, then take a deep breath. “Sorry, I’ll try not to.” I force myself to stop pacing and look at him. Really look at him. His face has gone pale, his hands clasped tightly in front of him. "I guess I assumed you were on something. Most omegas are these days, for heat management if nothing else."

"I've always managed my heats naturally." He lifts his chin slightly, and there's a flash of the Jonah from the heat—defiant, sure of himself. "My mother says artificial hormones interfere with finding a proper match. That when I met the right alpha, everything would happen naturally."

"Naturally," I repeat, feeling slightly hysterical. "Right. Of course."

"You really didn't think about it." It's not a question this time. There's hurt in his voice now, maybe disappointment. "During all of that, you never once thought about the possibility of children?"

I know this is a minefield. Every wrong word will be an explosion. But I've never been good at lying, especially not about important things.

"No," I admit. "I didn't."

"But surely you want children? You're an alpha. Every alpha wants—"

"I don't." The words come out harsher than intended, and I see him flinch. I try to soften my tone. "I never have. It's not... I'm not built for it. The whole family thing, white picket fence, little ones running around."

"Never?" His voice is very small now.

"Never."

The silence stretches between us, heavy and suffocating. I can see him processing this information, watch as his dreams—dreams I hadn't even known existed until five minutes ago—crumble behind those whiskey eyes.

"But we're married," he says finally. "This wholearrangement…what did you think would happen?"

"I thought we'd figure it out as we went. That maybe you felt the same way, or that we'd cross that bridge when we came to it."

"Cross that bridge?" His voice rises slightly. "Alex, I'm an omega. My whole body is designed around bearing children. Did you think I'd just ignore that forever?"

"Some omegas want children. Not all do. It's not the Middle Ages anymore, Jonah. You have choices—"